passthevalium

I know it sounds like a weird question, but I met a lady today who is 85 and has lived in NZ since she was 12. I'm doing some research into expats' life stories and this lovely lady wanted to tell me her story. She has loved her life here and has kids, grandkids and great grandkids, but she is going back to the UK to , as she said, "end my days and be buried in the UK as I can't stand the thought of being buried anywhere than my homeland". I was so taken aback that I couldn't think of anything to say. But it got me thinking if there are other expats who would want to do the same? Mortality is not often something people want to think about so maybe people on here haven't thought about the question, but for those who have, where do you want to be buried? Or does it matter to you?

MissBetty

I am - as you know - on my way home from Oz soon but when I first came here I decided to write a will as I have a property back in the UK and I didn't want any complications should anything happen to me when I was overseas.

I did actually put in my will that I wanted to be cremated and my ashes scattered in England. I just felt it was something that was really important to me, that my soul would never be at peace if I was not 'taken home'. I used to work at sea and sailors have all kinds of superstitions around this subject lol! This poem was always a favourite of mine and the only way I can kind of explain why it was so important to me:-

Under the wide and starry sky
Dig the grave and let me lie
Glad did I live and gladly die
And I laid me down with a will

This be the verse that you grave for me
Here he lies where he longed to be
Home is the sailor, home from the sea
And the hunter home from the hill

R L Stevenson (1850-1894)

nero

According to my New Zealand will I will end my days here, but everyone needs to listen to their hearts and heads. There is not one answer for everyone. But I am hoping I have many more years in the tank.

BEVS

We will be cremated & our ashes will be scattered back in the Dorset area. We also have a woodland plot next to my parents woodland plot and trees where we could be scattered. It will not be here.

passthevalium

Miss Betty, that's a wonderful verse. I feel the same as you, that I would not be at peace if not 'taken home', although I think with my Irish heritage that 'home' could be there as well. Mind you, I quite fancy coming back as a ghost and scaring the shite out of some 'family'.

Catchafire

I was thinking I could be mummified. Then my I can get to spend more time with my great grand kids.

MissBetty

Its one of my favs - I love poetry, such a geek lol! Yes, that would be funny eh?! Lol!!

I used to work as a military trainer and some of the young men I had the privilege of working with never made it home from Iraq and Afghanistan. I know how much it meant to their families that they were brought back to be laid to rest in their homeland.

When I was at sea a lot of sailors (including me!) had two swallows tattooed on them, this can mean two things. Each swallow denotes 5000 nautical miles and tells of your sailing experience and also that, if you die at sea, the swallows will pick up your soul and carry it home Its an old superstition but I quite like it!

BEVS

Good thought. I think I may already be partway to being embalmed.

passthevalium

Me too, my tipple is lamb's navy Rum and coke and the only place that sold it here is The Mill, who have officially run out and won't be getting any more, so I reckon I can say that we drank New Zealand dry of Lamb's rum.

madao

No joke, I have a massive fear of death so would like to be frozen to give myself at least some shot of coming back. Missis won't entertain the idea though. It's also expensive but you can get policies which cover the cost. I guess like a life insurance policy but in reverse.

Iv not thought my options further than that.

Victor Meldrew

So will your Mummy live in Egypt? good excuse for your family to have a holiday to come visit you

Personally, like the OP, I want to be buried back in UK, Birmingham which, for all intents and purposes I left aged 19 in 1976 (I left UK 2001, and Birmingham 1976).There is a particular cemetery which contains a small number of our family graves which I want to be buried in.

This makes more sense to me than being buried overseas or in the town in UK where I have been based since 1982.

lisamct

I'm very much of the 'once your dead your dead' school of thought so really have no concerns over what happens to me afterwards. I always think that what happens to people after their dead is more of a comfort to remaining family and friends than anything else, after all, your dead, you have no idea whats going on anymore (I admit this is coming from my occasionally radical atheist view point)

Don't want to take up a space in the ground anywhere, don't mind being cremated but have no need to have ashes scattered anywhere specific.

Actually considering donating my body to science (if they want it!)

simonsi

I fancy James May's method, cremation, ashes put into a balloon and sent up into the something-o-sphere where it bursts and scatters your ashes way up high.

I suspect you then end up everywhere (in little bits). Not sure anyone is doing it commercially yet and admittedly James May only did it with a cat's and budgie's ashes but the technology is at least proven

Victor Meldrew

I think that, for some people, it's partly about making your last statement in life as much as a belief that where you are buried will affect what happens with your spirit if you believe in that aspect of things.

You want to be cremated/scattered anywhere. That gives a statement about how you feel.

I guess that for some its a combination of both things.

PS, like you, I don't think my body will be of much use to science by the time I have finished with it!

MrsFychan

I have thought of this and only been here a year and not in my dotage but still don't know the answer.
Hubby has some paperwork he completed in the UK or something, I stop listening at times to be honest, about donating his body to science. Not sure if they would pay for the flight back if he popped his cogs here. The fact that he can't donate blood here I assume they won't want his body for medical science here either.

I agree its more about the people left behind. My dad died when I was quite young (10) and was buried in the garden of remembrance, after being cremated, at the local church. Over the years his remembrance plaque got moved around to make room for others and the last time I went back it took nearly 10mins to find it.
I prefer the memories I have of him when he was alive, I was not invited to the funeral, mother thought I was to young, so don't have that as a memory which although throughout the years I have resented that I am now quite happy that I don't have the funeral as a lasting memory just the good times when he was alive.

My Inlaws have stated they don't want us to return if they pop off this mortal coil but to me that seems wrong so hopefully when it comes to it, as it will, we have the money without struggling to attend and show our respects.
I will be going back when my mother passes to show my respect and make sure the step lot don't take advantage of things.

Funny thing is I was talking to my eldest son this weekend, (first marriage) and asked if he would want me to go over when his paternal grandparents died his response was not to bother and to keep that money to buy him a motorbike when he comes over - cheeky bugga