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Forum: France

Jul 22nd 2015, 8:03 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Somerset Maugham once said that the vital ingredients of a good short story were: Religion, Royalty, Sex and Mystery. Here is the world champion short story:

'Christ,' said the Princess, 'I'm...

Forum: France

May 19th 2015, 12:50 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Tweedie I'm too prudish to answer that...

Forum: France

May 19th 2015, 11:02 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

brilliant!

Forum: France

May 19th 2015, 8:31 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

I s'pose this has to go here, since I don't know where else to post this TRUE story. Went into Leroy Merlin yesterday in Angouleme and had to use the mens before going into the shop. I was using the...

Forum: France

Dec 31st 2014, 1:29 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

I went to this Christmas party and the host invited us to join him in a toast: raising his glass, he said 'I can just imagine my old dad looking down on us now'. When I got him alone I asked him how...

Forum: France

Apr 13th 2014, 6:47 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Why hasn't somebody come up with this one:

In the Pistorius trial, his best defence must surely be to say:
Well, Mylady, I had been drinking pretty hard that night and was totally legless.'

Forum: France

Apr 27th 2013, 3:01 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Yank arrives at Charles de Gaulle and takes a taxi into town. On the way they pass Sacré Coeur. 'Gee, what's that? asks the yank. Taxi driver answers 'That, m'sieu, is the Sacré Coeur, it took over...

Forum: France

Nov 5th 2012, 10:14 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Forget whether we've had this one:

Angela Merkel arrives at de Gaulle Aiport.
The immigration officer asks her

'Your name please Madame?'

'Angela Merkel'

'Occupation?'

Forum: France

Jun 22nd 2012, 1:55 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Adolf Schickelgruber - no that was a painter...
:p

Forum: France

May 1st 2012, 1:50 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Two aerials got married.

The service was lousy but the reception was brilliant.

Forum: France

Apr 28th 2012, 9:19 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Angela Merkel arrives at De Gaulle Airport.

The Douane asks her.

'Your name madame?'

'Angela Merkel'

'Occupation?'

Forum: France

Apr 25th 2012, 3:32 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

The economy is so bad my missus has to have sex with me 'cos she can't afford the batteries any more.

Forum: France

Apr 24th 2012, 7:48 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Jeez Tweedy, the bottom of the barrel has been scraped!

'What's wrapped up in plastic and swings from belltowers?

The lunchpack of Notre Dame.'

Blackie

Forum: France

Apr 8th 2012, 10:37 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if I would make a contribution to the flooding in Pakistan. I anwered that I would be very happy to but the hosepipe only reaches to the bottom of the...

Forum: France

Apr 8th 2012, 10:00 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

This blokes wife had been missing for a whole week and the police warned him to fear the worst, so he went down to the Salvation Army and got back all of her clothes.

Forum: France

Apr 7th 2012, 11:08 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

The missis suggested I bought one of those penis enlargers, so I did, she's 21 and her name's Kathy.

Forum: France

Apr 7th 2012, 9:58 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

A man calls 911 and says to the duty officer 'I think my wife is dead'.

'How do you know?'

'Well, the sex is about the same but the ironing is piling up.'

Forum: France

Dec 5th 2011, 2:15 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

This flea walks into a travel agents in New York and says:

'Jeez, I need a break after this long hard winter, what've you got?'

'What do you want to do?'

'Weel, I'm a flea, all I want to do...

Forum: France

Apr 15th 2011, 6:30 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

God I had a terrible nightmare last night, I dreamt that the Grim Reaper had come to get me and I had to fight him off with the end of the vacuum cleaner. I woke and said 'Jesus that was Dyson with...

Forum: France

Sep 19th 2010, 10:33 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Three girls - one from Surrey, one from Worcestershire and one from Yorkshire - were walking along a beautiful sandy beach when they see a man with no arms and legs sitting in the sand. 'Look at that...

Forum: France

Oct 28th 2009, 2:39 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Nice one again Tweedy!

***Old Cowboy***

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She...

Forum: France

Aug 25th 2009, 3:26 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

For those about to take a break.

A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A
beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He
decides, because she's...

Forum: France

Aug 14th 2009, 7:12 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

A hippy gets on a bus and the only other passenger is a nun. The hippy is totally bewitched by the nun's beautiful face and sits next to her and says, Jeez mam I sure would love to have sex with you....

Forum: France

Jun 30th 2009, 7:24 pm

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

Michael Jackson was the living proof that in the Great United States you can start life as a black man and end it as a white woman.

Forum: France

Jun 30th 2009, 7:56 am

Replies: 376

Read Me: bad jokes...

Views: 136,974

Posted By Blackladder

Re: bad jokes...

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

From a catalogue.

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