Blackladder

Hi Josda, thanks for your thoughts.

Yes, I have lived pretty much in Skåne the whole time since arriving in Sweden. First a few months in Gästrikland which I really liked, then I moved south to study in Lund. After that I have lived in Malmö, Lund and now Österlen, which is really beautiful (especially now that the apple trees are all in blossom and the fields are a bright yellow with the Colza (rapeseed) plants), and plenty of newly arriving birdlife to catch up on.
Take care
Blackie

SleeplessinScandinavia

I've just joined the site.

I think Blackladder is pretty much 'on the money' in the comments about Sweden. If not for work/family (etc) what are the secrets of being an ex-pat in a country for so long?

Personally though I find Swedish restaurants/eateries better than my experience of UK ones: the Swedish restaurants are 'unfussed' and unstressed with the food (in the main) being straightforward good value for money (one of the few things that is in my experience!!)

I was in Stockholm for a couple of years, then Uppsala - and am looking to move further north to Hälsingland

Blackladder

Hi Sleepless (is that the midnight sun getting you?)

Well, I suppose I have been lucky in having a job I love (translator) and being my own boss means I can isolate myself as much as I want from the world outside, but I really can't answer why I have put up with it for so long, I think it's just that I had not genuinely thought there was any alternative, until I discovered a few years ago that there were places in Europe where it was possible to enjoy retirement. Perhaps that's why I have become lately so critical of Sweden, knowing that there IS something better out there waiting. I have three months to go before retirement then I'm outta here quicker than you can say exit visa!
Take care
Blackie

Extreme

I'm Swedish in my early thirties, but have lived in California for the last 7+ years.
I have been lurking around this forum for many years, but I don't post a whole lot. I just have to say that this may be my favorite thread of all times!

I agree as well.

When I was growing up restaurants sucked (I lived in STHLM my entire life). I think it's getting better, but still pretty far from Southern California.

I agree. I still hope America has its best days to come. If not, at least I got to enjoy the weather.

It sure does.

Yes it is. Who else's fault would it be?

Wow, and you're still coming back!?

This is so true. I have friends who loudly embraces diversity and people being different but show no signs of it in their actual actions. I also feel the same unnerved vibe from a lot of family and friends. Basically, Swedes in general have issues with people outside of their own mindsets. They sometimes have a hard time accepting other ways of thinking, being, prioritizing, etc.

Thanks Blackie, Josda and everyone else for posting! Good to know that I'm not the only one out there with these thoughts...

MarkRD

A very interesting thread and some enetertaining thoughts.
Just came across it as I wandered away from the Italy section.
I've been living in Italy for 25 years and I can well imagine myself being here until retirement too .. and beyond...

Sweden is a place I've always dreamed of visiting (a life-long Abba fan!) and obviously have my own ideas about what the place and the people might be like.

A strange quirk of fate meant that I couldn't study Swedish at university as I had hoped and I ended up doing Italian. The rest is history.

I've met a few Swedish people through work and they mostly seem very friendly. Ok, actually being in a place is different that meeting isolated groups, I know that, but I just find it hard to understand how you can live in a 'foreign' place for 40 years without having one single native friend!

Anyway, I'm sure I'll have quite a bit to say in my '40 years in Italy' post in 2026!

Enjoy your retirement Blackladder

Blackladder

Hi Mark RD, thanks for your thoughts and the good wishes,

One of the problems about living here is that if you are in any way critical, you will soon find yourself unpopular. It's a strange phenomenon but in the vast majority of surveys and polls carried out along the lines of 'are you happy where you live?' the Swedes nearly always come out on top. Now having been able to study them at close range, it's not about being generally satisfied, but about not criticising. I have a goodly sized circle of non-Swedish friends and the consensus of opinion among them is that the state has become the religion here. There is no vibrant living religion here (apart from the Catholic and Muslim immigrants). Sweden spends millions of Euros on the upkeep of Lutheran churches around the country which all stand empty on Sunday mornings!

Back to criticism. Since the Swedes themselves cannot face criticising their own country, woe betide the foreigner who does! One example: I used to be an active member of an ornithological group (nearly all Swedes) and enjoyed going out birdwatching with them. However, as soon as I began to criticise their farming methods (ultramodern) for reducing the countryside into a barren monoculture, saying for example that their fields were as barren as their carparks, people stopped phoning me and I found myself ostricised totally.

The Swedes love attacking America - even though this is the most americanised society in the EU - because they have what is known as the 'tall poppy syndrome' - if you are a bit bigger than the rest you'll soon be cut down to size. But they hate it when their own social democratic paradise is put under the microscope!
Take care
Blackie

Extreme

I believe this happens when you're considered an outsider, foreigner or just plain different. A Swede can gladly criticize things like the weather, expensive alcohol or high taxes, but to have an outsider criticize something and the "best in the class" syndrome kicks in and the Swedes gets really defensive.

I've noticed this as well. It totally weirds me out! How can you be so happy and content when someone takes 50+% of your income and the weather is crap 90% of the time.
I believe that Swedes don't really understand that there are functioning societies outside of Sweden. To a Swede it's hard to believe that if the government is not running kids daycare, healthcare, universities, annual car inspections, public housing, etc the world would end and everyone would die. There are no real alternatives for them.


Again, I think Swedes are pretty good at criticizing their own ways, but that's no place for an outsider to go. I also think that Swedes in general think they are pretty open minded and that they don't have a strong culture and habits etc, but along comes someone different that maybe even have some opinions of their own and, oh no that person needs to be excluded, frowned upon etc.

They sure do and I'll happily have that discussion any day of the week!

Thanks everyone for contributing!

Blackladder

You won't believe this...

I was talking with my Swedish neighbour a couple of days ago on the subject of the European Championships in football.

I said 'I s'pose you've heard that Greece won't be playing, they couldn't afford the air tickets to get there.'

My neighbour stared at me open-mouthed, 'Is that true? Does that mean that Norway will be taking their place?'

As my dear old Irish mother said about the Swedes after a few visits here.
'Suffrin' Jesus, if it started raining soup they'd all run outside with forks.'

Nice day everyone
Blackie

Paracletus

You know, I just came across norway's new national enemy.

http://theforeigner.no/pages/columns...ive-in-norway/

It's hilarious.

Blackladder

Paracletus, brilliant!
Just like the Swedes but apparently with more money. When I first arrived here in Sweden it was the other way round, richer Swedes would travel over to Norway to shop, now the wallet is in the other pocket, but they are truly Nordic cousins!

Blackie

Extreme

This guy's reply makes it even better!! I love it.

http://theforeigner.no/pages/columns...ive-in-norway/

edp

wow blackladder, very interesting...well i have been here 10 months and made the same observations. I am prone to thinking things are my fault and that it must be a problem with me but there are definitely things here that i just can't tolerate. I think primarily is the national pursuit of appearing to be superior whilst ignoring some pretty horrendous problems on the doorstep. Swedes have no concept that some things just aren't good here. They don't question things. They run projects and campaigns to make sure they have ticked all boxes for the outside world to view but its just lip service. I have never seen so many people employed in ineffectual administrative roles. Noone is in a position to help. Occasionally you will happen across a well meaning administrator in one organization who knows someone in another organization who, as a favor, will help you out with what you assume to be your right - but it will come to nothing. Sweden pretty much transgresses EU regulations but does it in a way they can get away with it. Every day I want to leave because it occurs to me that life as i know it is over. Possibilities are over. My future is spending the next few years going through a soul crushing Swedish rites of passage - dictated by a strange sort of linguistic fascism. 'Learn the language - and you may, if you are good, come into the fold'. I don't mind learning a foreign language, i speak French but i am not being forced into doing it where it is used as a social weapon.

I have met a wonderful women here who doesn't want to leave. It's a very tough situation for me having experienced how life is elsewhere - not perfect anywhere but I've never felt so much that the state is more important than the individual. An extreme comparison but North Korea with a smile.

Blackladder

Hi edp,
Man, I'm seriously thinking about you at the moment and know the corner you are in. I'm hoping that others will make their own contributions, but the only one who can move from that corner is you, PM me privately if you like.
Take care
Blackie

edp

will pm you blackladder...

Extreme

Hi Edp,
Welcome to BritishExpats! I'm sorry that your experience in Sweden has been crap so far. I agree with a lot of your statements above and your comment about Swedes being ruled by Skatteverket in the other thread.

If you're serious about learning Swedish I would recommend to check out Pimsleur's language program.

http://www.pimsleur.com/Learn-Swedis...FUQaQgodizXjug

I'm currently trying to learn Spanish and it has been a great help! It's all focused on listening and repeating, no textbooks. Check it out!

I hope it all works out for you!