Too many restaurants in Dubai?
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:00 am
#31
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:07 am
#32
Knee deep and rising
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,007
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
That's not the point here. I agree that some people are too quick to take offence or are looking for reasons to be offended. This does not mean that there are not genuinely offensive terms.
For example, there are a number of well-known words that have been specifically used to demean and bully some minority groups who, in the past, have been powerless to fight back. Now they have identified those words as demeaning (and words like cripple and spastic are good examples also) and asked that people not use them. I think it is a matter of common public decency not to use demeaning language. I realise that sometimes people may do this inadvertently but why persist once this has been pointed out?
Everybody is free to use whatever words they wish but whereas in the past there may have been no consequences to this, now that will reflect on them and they may be called out and sanctioned for it. It's really not that hard to be a decent human being.
For example, there are a number of well-known words that have been specifically used to demean and bully some minority groups who, in the past, have been powerless to fight back. Now they have identified those words as demeaning (and words like cripple and spastic are good examples also) and asked that people not use them. I think it is a matter of common public decency not to use demeaning language. I realise that sometimes people may do this inadvertently but why persist once this has been pointed out?
Everybody is free to use whatever words they wish but whereas in the past there may have been no consequences to this, now that will reflect on them and they may be called out and sanctioned for it. It's really not that hard to be a decent human being.
Who all look the same
Last edited by weasel decentral; Mar 2nd 2017 at 7:15 am.
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:09 am
#33
Knee deep and rising
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,007
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
My old boss used to say... you choose your mood.
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:23 am
#34
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:27 am
#35
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Dubai
Posts: 4,017
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
My old boss used to say... you choose your mood.
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:35 am
#36
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
My old boss used to say... you choose your mood.
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
We choose when to be offended.
I have a gay colleague who I have absolutely no issue with. I accidentally offended him this week (his choice) when I said something along the lines of (when talking about a common friend with depression), "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women or beer"
His choice to be offended by my accidental choice word of "women" vs. "sex". He could have equally taken it as a positive spin of me treating him a a total equal in my eyes.
If you'd said: "well I'm not going to judge his behavior, when men are down you medicate with either women - because men only **** women and anything else is plain wrong, or beer"
Then I could see someone being a bit upset at the lengths you went to make them feel uncomfortable. But you didn't do that and I know you wouldn't have meant any offense.
BUT
I will say that I don't know what it's like being a 'minority' whether race, LBGT, disabled etc. So maybe things I don't think would be offensive, would be, etc.
Mar 2nd 2017, 7:51 am
#37
Hit 16's
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine
Posts: 13,112
Mar 2nd 2017, 8:00 am
#38
...we killed the flame
Joined: Jan 2017
Location: Dubai
Posts: 1,086
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
Mar 2nd 2017, 8:17 am
#40
...we killed the flame
Joined: Jan 2017
Location: Dubai
Posts: 1,086
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
Well here's nobody now and I am refusing.
I agree that as Millhouse's anecdote is recounted, there is no reasonable basis for taking offence. But I've heard far too many of such alibi tales not to suspect there is something more behind it, whether Millhouse recognises it or not. And, in his current avatar as provocateur, I know he will not acknowledge that anyway even though I strongly suspect he does recognise that.
And to address some other comments: I repeat, I am not offended. I am just pointing out speech that can be fairly and reasonably considered offensive. I could have let it go and avoided what I knew would become this tiresome argument full of straw men and dissembling (the British were the rulers in HK - not an oppressed minority ffs). But I think it's worth making a point and trying to get people to think a bit more even if I appear - this time - to be in a minority of one. Meanwhile is it any surprise this forum has become so utterly monotone?
By the way, you know that the harder you fight to justify and sustain this casual low-level "soft prejudice", the easier you make it for people to take frivolous offence at everything?
To paraphrase some judge: I can't necessarily describe bigotry but I know it when I see it and hear it, however many craven excuses and distractions people want to throw up to confuse the issue and justify their participation.
I agree that as Millhouse's anecdote is recounted, there is no reasonable basis for taking offence. But I've heard far too many of such alibi tales not to suspect there is something more behind it, whether Millhouse recognises it or not. And, in his current avatar as provocateur, I know he will not acknowledge that anyway even though I strongly suspect he does recognise that.
And to address some other comments: I repeat, I am not offended. I am just pointing out speech that can be fairly and reasonably considered offensive. I could have let it go and avoided what I knew would become this tiresome argument full of straw men and dissembling (the British were the rulers in HK - not an oppressed minority ffs). But I think it's worth making a point and trying to get people to think a bit more even if I appear - this time - to be in a minority of one. Meanwhile is it any surprise this forum has become so utterly monotone?
By the way, you know that the harder you fight to justify and sustain this casual low-level "soft prejudice", the easier you make it for people to take frivolous offence at everything?
To paraphrase some judge: I can't necessarily describe bigotry but I know it when I see it and hear it, however many craven excuses and distractions people want to throw up to confuse the issue and justify their participation.
Mar 2nd 2017, 8:21 am
#41
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
I agree that as Millhouse's anecdote is recounted, there is no reasonable basis for taking offence. But I've heard far too many of such alibi tales not to suspect there is something more behind it, whether Millhouse recognises it or not. And, in his current avatar as provocateur, I know he will not acknowledge that anyway even though I strongly suspect he does recognise that.
Funny as about 30mins later, someone else said something almost identical to him on the same subject. She was quicker to reword the sentence though.
Mar 2nd 2017, 9:39 am
#44
...we killed the flame
Joined: Jan 2017
Location: Dubai
Posts: 1,086
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
Almost every language or society has more or less disparaging words for foreigners, often particularly for colonial Europeans who were usually pretty unwelcome when they showed up. Gweilo, Gora, Oyibo, Faranji, Nasrani (the khaleeji one - literally meaning "Nazarene" i.e. Christian) etc etc.
In Gaelic the term "Sasanach" just means Englishman (Saxon literally) though it can be used as an insult similar to Pom, mainly by the Scots not so much in Ireland. We have another Gaelic word for "returned yanks": Poncanach (pron. punk-AW-nock) which even sounds insulting. There is a whole school of early 20th century Gaelic literature about Poncanaigh (the plural) who returned to the auld sod on holiday or to pursue some wild-goose chase business opportunity. They were invariably portrayed as arrogant show-off buffoons who were no match for the crafty local stay-at-homes.
While this may all be less than polite, it is no way equivalent to using words which were specifically used to keep minorities in our place. Instead of a chinky, anyone fancy going for a wog?
I didn't think so.
In Gaelic the term "Sasanach" just means Englishman (Saxon literally) though it can be used as an insult similar to Pom, mainly by the Scots not so much in Ireland. We have another Gaelic word for "returned yanks": Poncanach (pron. punk-AW-nock) which even sounds insulting. There is a whole school of early 20th century Gaelic literature about Poncanaigh (the plural) who returned to the auld sod on holiday or to pursue some wild-goose chase business opportunity. They were invariably portrayed as arrogant show-off buffoons who were no match for the crafty local stay-at-homes.
While this may all be less than polite, it is no way equivalent to using words which were specifically used to keep minorities in our place. Instead of a chinky, anyone fancy going for a wog?
I didn't think so.
Mar 2nd 2017, 9:42 am
#45
...we killed the flame
Joined: Jan 2017
Location: Dubai
Posts: 1,086
Re: Too many restaurants in Dubai?
Cue endless posts about how "wog" actually just means "westernised oriental gentleman" and therefore how dare anyone take offence, ad infinitum...