Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Middle East > The Sand Pit
Reload this Page >

THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

Old Sep 21st 2008, 9:28 am
  #1  
Go on.. Pull my finger..
Thread Starter
 
TGFKASE's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: Dubai
Posts: 5,726
TGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond reputeTGFKASE has a reputation beyond repute
Default THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

THE government stepped up its battle against alcohol abuse yesterday by dividing drinkers into nine different types of marketing bollocks.

Ministers believe Britain's alcohol problem is now so acute they can no longer avoid drawing up a detailed list and giving it to the papers.

The new alcoholic labelling system includes 'Giggly Office Bike', 'Rugby Arse' and 'Norm from Cheers'.

Public health minister Dawn Primarolo said: "By dividing society into nine types of bollocks we hope to make everyone think they have a drink problem. The truth is, you don't know why you drink so much."

'Rugby Arse' Drinks heavily because he's six foot eight, 24 years-old and his hangovers consist of having a slightly dry tongue for about 20 minutes. Is settled in for a nice, long session, if that's alright with you.

'Story Guy' Has loads of stories. Never stops with the stories. Never listens to anyone else's stories. Just waits for them to finish so he can start another one of his stories. Twat.

'Giggly Office Bike' Drinks to bond with her colleagues. Bonding takes place in a cubicle in the gents' bogs, or her pokey flat if she's feeling romantic. Has bonded with everybody apart from that guy in sales who looks like Jonathan King.

'Mr Grumpy Chops' A light aircraft carrying his wife and her secret lover has recently crashed into his uninsured business. Is a tad upset and would very much like to spend the next two years in an alcoholic haze, thanks.

'Norm from Cheers' Spends most of his life in the pub because he really likes it, that's where his friends are and he isn't bothering anyone else. Would like to ask Dawn Primarolo what her ****ing problem is.

'Whisky Guy' Has seen things that would turn your hair white. Can't look at himself in the mirror. Haunted by the ghosts of his troubled youth. Assistant manager at Specsavers.

'Big Sheila' Chunky, bouncy girl who drinks cider and knows more cock jokes than a dirty pirate. Everyone thinks of her as a cuddly big sister without seeing the sex-famished lunatic lurking just millimetres below the surface.

'Quiz Guy' Treats every conversation as if it's a pub quiz. To give him his due, he knows a lot of stuff and would have got past the first round of Mastermind but for the fact he only scored six points, including the specialised subject.

'Everybody Else' Enjoys a drink and is fully aware of all the possible consequences. Reckons as long as the NHS is funded by their tax money, they'll do whatever they want and Dawn Primarolo can shut her ****ing face.

So, which category do you fit into?????

Last edited by TGFKASE; Sep 21st 2008 at 9:34 am.
TGFKASE is offline  
Old Sep 21st 2008, 9:59 am
  #2  
hmmmm...nice
 
MataHari's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 27,923
MataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond reputeMataHari has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

I don't fit in any...but I recognise some of the types here on BE...
MataHari is offline  
Old Sep 21st 2008, 10:20 am
  #3  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
The Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond reputeThe Dean has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

Originally Posted by MataHari
I don't fit in any...but I recognise some of the types here on BE...
I plead guilty to three of those, and would like a further two to be taken into consideration, m'lud.........
The Dean is offline  
Old Sep 21st 2008, 11:07 am
  #4  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Madam Medusa's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,187
Madam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond reputeMadam Medusa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

well we defo need to get quiz guy out on a monday night...

MM, xx
Madam Medusa is offline  
Old Sep 21st 2008, 11:15 am
  #5  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Inselaffen's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Dubai
Posts: 13,547
Inselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond reputeInselaffen has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: THE NINE DRINKERS OF BRITAIN...

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa
well we defo need to get quiz guy out on a monday night...

MM, xx
but Macscot is on another team
Inselaffen is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.