Paidtoplease

Last Night

Knock Knock...

Hello Can I help you

You give me job:
I have no jobs, sorry

But I want to work for you:
I have no Jobs. sorry

I look after your garden, wash car, cook:
I don't need anyone for that:

But yu av Garden, car and eat ???
Yes I do but I don't need anyone

You take me, give me room:
No, I not take you, don't need

You bad lady
No, not bad just don't need any help

You not feed my family
Your family not my responsibility

You need to feed family, they come and stay with you, my wife cook, clean, you send children to school
I don't need any help, they can not stay

But you have rooms
No I dont

You have garden
Yes with one tree

I take care of tree ???
Good Bye, shut door...........................

What's been yours ???

MataHari

lol...mine would be a few variations on the one you had...especially when we first moved here the amount of people that knocked on our door was scary...

The worst one was a carpet sales guy....I couldn't get rid of him, he kept on coming and was really persistant...not nice...

And lots of phonecalls for directions...with me shouting 15the STREET!!!! and the man saying...but no 15th street here mam....and so on and so on...

Paidtoplease

Hell yes, direction conversations were painfull !!!

Inselaffen

surprised he didnt offer to take care of your personal needs too
you do seem to attract nutters

Paidtoplease

Hello

nottmbantam

Aha - so this is what I have to look forward to when I make it out there!

Paidtoplease

Its a hoot and minute

nottmbantam

Just remembered one of the daftest conversations I'd had.

Picture the scene, it was October 24th, I was at home, sitting comfortably watching the telly. The house I was living in was a simple two bed terrace house, with no front garden, the front door opened out onto the pavement.

I heard a knock on the door, around 7.00pm, so it was dark. Opened the door to find a youngish girl / woman ( 18ish? ) standing at my door, and noticed her boyfriend / male companion? standing a few feet behind her.

her: Trick or Treat
Me: Eh?

her: Trick or Treat, its Halloween
Me: Errmm, no its not til next week.

Her: yeah, I know, but I live in London.
Me: <shocked and shtunned ) errr, no thanks.

matthew.lewis2

Try giving directions to a villa in an area that has no street numbers and no villa numbers!

I have to give directions by the nearest traffic lights, then a roundabout, and then say over three speed humps, and there is my villa.

What colour villa sir??? Cream, like most other villas here!!

Paidtoplease

Turn left at the sand dune
then 2nd sand dune turn right, pass another 6 sand dune and mine is the sand colured villa on the left ....easy .....

littlejimmy

"Hello, Sir. I am outside your villa now."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

Ad infinitum.

Miss Eck

How true!!!

Cham128

my god that was you? i'm so sorry... what do you think i need to work on next time i knock?

Madam Medusa

oh hell yeah...bleedin dubai transport...

MM, xx

Alexa

Had one like that too..
On the phone : Madam, I am here.
"Who are you ?"
I am here
"Very good, but who are you?"
Madam, you are house
"No, I am not a house and I am not expecting anybody"
Yes Madam, I am here"
Good, stay here. Good bye.

I wonder if she is still "here"....