Charismatic

Is it still socially acceptable to hold a door open for a woman to walk through or is this old fashion?

Madam Medusa

totally acceptable...good manners to hold it for a man or woman i would have thought...

MM, xx

Charismatic

Interesting, I was out tonight and came to a bar at exactly the same time as a young lady comming the other way. So I pulled the door open and waited...and glanced at her as she remained stopped just a foot away from me...and waited...finally I put my hand behind her (being careful not to touch) and said "You first". She walked through and just gave me a confused look.

Dutchie

I agree with MM, it only shows good manners unless the Lady in question makes it clear she wants to do it herself.

Sofa No.2

I thought this was going to be an "Emirati women can only walk through held-open door if the holder is her husband" type thread.

Dutchie

I'm old school if it comes down to woman C. I've never been able to go Double Dutch (man and woman both paying for the meal). It's part of the courtship game, call it foreplay if you want to if you ask me. Difficult to put into words, but what the heck? I'm the crazy Dutchie on here. MH would say "I understand him"

Charismatic

Interesting, I'm devious like this and work on a "reverse principals" basis. If I meet someone I like I'll convince her to buy for me (usually using a proposition bet or similar fun game). I have found the more you can get her to invest in you the more commited she becomes to the interaction.

Also steeling her lines:
<We meet> "You seem like a player..."
<We make out> "We need to stop now, I'm not comfortable doing this here and now so lets re-join our friends"
<We are kissing on the bed getting intimate> "We really shouldnt be doing this"
It's bizzare but because you use the objection before she does it makes the objection void.

Dutchie

I would classify you as a bed hopper C. One day you'll understand what I'm trying to say. I was one to in my wild years.

Dutchie

But... As this old goat has a date tonight? Yes, suite with cuff links, a night at the opera followed by a good late night meal and wines. I need a shower and a shave as well as getting dressed. Hmm... Last day I'm driving around in something decent on wheels. Have fun BE

Charismatic

Undoubtedly we have different reasons for our persuit but in many regards we still desire the same things (I suspect most people do) like acceptance, approval etc. Basically someone who will love us because we are human and have faults, not despite them. It's not comming from a needy place of "I need to be loved" but from a sincear place deep inside us that is a "I want to share myself with someone who I feel is deserving".

In many ways, generally speaking, I think women are more attuned to this idea. If you watch women talk to men they constantly look for these values and looking for men who elicit values from them (Which socially intelligent people will naturally do anyway).

Autonomy

Being polite is not out of date nor old fashioned, just perhaps out of common parlance.

An objection, however slight is always to be listened to. Nothing you say or think makes the objection void. Nothing.

twinkle-star

Yes man or women if someone is behind you or going through it is good manners to hold the door for someone...good health and safety too!


But it does depends who is actually holding the door open !

I have held the door open for men behind me and they have said you go first I have insisted they goes through first or I would have to let go of the door and it would slam in their face!

Squirty Cream

Absolutely, and this should apply across the board. Doors, letting women go first in queues, pulling out chairs in restaurants, offering to carry her heavy bags (full of newly purchased shoes), all in all it's polite, chivalrous and very attractive if a man knows how to treat a woman well....... that's also one of the pleasures about living here.

Another one is being allowed to go into the lift first and leaving it first - how polite and nice that is - nothing wrong in a woman being treated well by the males of the species.

Confucius

Damn female supremacists...

Welivehere

Yep. Should also include opening (and closing) a car doors for a woman before you get in.

Off the back of that though the courtesy should also be recognized by a thank you or some other form of gracious acknowledgment, at least the first time it.