Expats: An alternative view...
#1
Expats: An alternative view...
"The British are a varied people and do not get on with each other.
And yet there is one group of Britons who are united despite their ethnic and religious differences: expats. United in bitterness and whining, that is.
Expats all seem to be engineers or work in the oil industry. The men all have moustaches and the women all sit in the shade drinking as much as possible. They spend all their time moaning about Britain but they haven't actually been back since T-Rex were in the charts. If pressed on this, they claim that they don't want to as 'the country's gone to the dogs.' Point out to them that you were just there and there was no sign of canine invasion, and they grunt, and use an expression for another race that you haven't heard since "Mind Your Language" was taken off the telly.
They don't even like the place where they are living, yet will only leave when their idle fleshy backsides are kicked out during a popular uprising. This will take some time to sink in, as they have never even bothered to learn the language.
Expats long for a world that never existed, and remember one that hasn't existed for many years. They still believe that all the ethnic minorities in Britain work in curry houses, that beer is one and six a pint and you can still get Double Diamond. They are like the Japanese soldiers lost in the jungle, refusing to believe the war is over.
The worst thing is that for some reason these red-faced pillocks are allowed a postal vote in British elections. Fortunately, most of them still think it's 1974 and vote for Mr Heath, so all their ballot papers are spoiled."
David Quantick.
Perhaps he's been given a poor impression by some of our number?
And yet there is one group of Britons who are united despite their ethnic and religious differences: expats. United in bitterness and whining, that is.
Expats all seem to be engineers or work in the oil industry. The men all have moustaches and the women all sit in the shade drinking as much as possible. They spend all their time moaning about Britain but they haven't actually been back since T-Rex were in the charts. If pressed on this, they claim that they don't want to as 'the country's gone to the dogs.' Point out to them that you were just there and there was no sign of canine invasion, and they grunt, and use an expression for another race that you haven't heard since "Mind Your Language" was taken off the telly.
They don't even like the place where they are living, yet will only leave when their idle fleshy backsides are kicked out during a popular uprising. This will take some time to sink in, as they have never even bothered to learn the language.
Expats long for a world that never existed, and remember one that hasn't existed for many years. They still believe that all the ethnic minorities in Britain work in curry houses, that beer is one and six a pint and you can still get Double Diamond. They are like the Japanese soldiers lost in the jungle, refusing to believe the war is over.
The worst thing is that for some reason these red-faced pillocks are allowed a postal vote in British elections. Fortunately, most of them still think it's 1974 and vote for Mr Heath, so all their ballot papers are spoiled."
David Quantick.
Perhaps he's been given a poor impression by some of our number?
Last edited by OleJanx; Jul 7th 2011 at 5:20 pm. Reason: .
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
"The British are a varied people and do not get on with each other.
And yet there is one group of Britons who are united despite their ethnic and religious differences: expats. United in bitterness and whining, that is.
Expats all seem to be engineers or work in the oil industry. The men all have moustaches and the women all sit in the shade drinking as much as possible. They spend all their time moaning about Britain but they haven't actually been back since T-Rex were in the charts. If pressed on this, they claim that they don't want to as 'the country's gone to the dogs.' Point out to them that you were just there and there was no sign of canine invasion, and they grunt, and use an expression for another race that you haven't heard since "Mind Your Language" was taken off the telly.
They don't even like the place where they are living, yet will only leave when their idle fleshy backsides are kicked out during a popular uprising. This will take some time to sink in, as they have never even bothered to learn the language.
Expats long for a world that never existed, and remember one that hasn't existed for many years. They still believe that all the ethnic minorities in Britain work in curry houses, that beer is one and six a pint and you can still get Double Diamond. They are like the Japanese soldiers lost in the jungle, refusing to believe the war is over.
The worst thing is that for some reason these red-faced pillocks are allowed a postal vote in British elections. Fortunately, most of them still think it's 1974 and vote for Mr Heath, so all their ballot papers are spoiled."
David Quantick.
Perhaps he's been given a poor impression by some of our number?
And yet there is one group of Britons who are united despite their ethnic and religious differences: expats. United in bitterness and whining, that is.
Expats all seem to be engineers or work in the oil industry. The men all have moustaches and the women all sit in the shade drinking as much as possible. They spend all their time moaning about Britain but they haven't actually been back since T-Rex were in the charts. If pressed on this, they claim that they don't want to as 'the country's gone to the dogs.' Point out to them that you were just there and there was no sign of canine invasion, and they grunt, and use an expression for another race that you haven't heard since "Mind Your Language" was taken off the telly.
They don't even like the place where they are living, yet will only leave when their idle fleshy backsides are kicked out during a popular uprising. This will take some time to sink in, as they have never even bothered to learn the language.
Expats long for a world that never existed, and remember one that hasn't existed for many years. They still believe that all the ethnic minorities in Britain work in curry houses, that beer is one and six a pint and you can still get Double Diamond. They are like the Japanese soldiers lost in the jungle, refusing to believe the war is over.
The worst thing is that for some reason these red-faced pillocks are allowed a postal vote in British elections. Fortunately, most of them still think it's 1974 and vote for Mr Heath, so all their ballot papers are spoiled."
David Quantick.
Perhaps he's been given a poor impression by some of our number?
#3
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
By writing such nonsense Mr Quantick shows that he really hasn't a clue about life outside the UK and thus should be pitied for being so very wrong.
Incidentally where was this published? I don't see a source.
Incidentally where was this published? I don't see a source.
#4
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
Does anyone know where this expat heaven is ? Certainly not seen it or anything like it in the Gulf so far
Anyway its Sounds a jolly good place, and I haven't seen Double Diamond, though it did work wonders, since all the darkies arrived
Anyway its Sounds a jolly good place, and I haven't seen Double Diamond, though it did work wonders, since all the darkies arrived
#5
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
I have met enough people who haven't been back to their home countries for years, and believe that time has stood still whilst they have been gone. They subsequently whinge when they see that their countries change too. I find it hilarious.
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
Quantick is a freelancer but mostly writes for the Grauniad..........
#8
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
As it appears to be a cut'n'paste from an article the OP really should name his source.......preferably with a link.....
#9
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
Funny, that article reminded of that French & Saunders sketch: The Shell Wives Association Welcome Kit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xht7nqVmxR4
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,132
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
Funny, that article reminded of that French & Saunders sketch: The Shell Wives Association Welcome Kit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xht7nqVmxR4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xht7nqVmxR4
I can see where we got the name 'Al Berkshire!'
#11
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
The only thing that rings true is that British culture, expat or otherwise seems to involve a lot of moaning.
N.
N.
#12
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 227
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
The article seems spot on to me.
I know my moustache comb is around here somewhere, but really can't be arsed to get up and find it......
I know my moustache comb is around here somewhere, but really can't be arsed to get up and find it......
#13
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
I've met some of those diehard expats too. I believe many of those people who work abroad for so long just reach a point in their life/careers they can't go back...scary really when you think about it.
Funny, that article reminded of that French & Saunders sketch: The Shell Wives Association Welcome Kit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xht7nqVmxR4
Funny, that article reminded of that French & Saunders sketch: The Shell Wives Association Welcome Kit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xht7nqVmxR4
My old man is one of them, not able to move back. I guess the realization was made many years ago..no real career prospects once you get to a certain age, and salaries would be slashed significantly. But considering his current circumstances, I would probably made the same decision. Run a business in the Caribbean..? Yes please.
#14
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
Great discussion and all, but OleJanx you need to come back and cite the author and/or source.
Thank you kindly.
Thank you kindly.
#15
Re: Expats: An alternative view...
The author, David Quantick, is cited.
Anything else? Ah, the source...hmm.O.K.
"Grumpy Old Men On Holiday."
Happy now?
Anything else? Ah, the source...hmm.O.K.
"Grumpy Old Men On Holiday."
Happy now?