Budowsky

At what point did you walk into the travel agent and book your ticket? Was it a well thought out plan, or a spur of the moment decision. Have you regretted it?

I have really come to a cross-roads now, where I am seriously thinking about doing it. For me, the main one is jobs, culture and family.

Im in NZ at the moment and wondering whether to go to OZ, the UK or remain in NZ.

mumomonty

When I lived in Oz, I just got to a point where I thought no matter how I tried I couldn't make a go of it and I (at that time) had things to go back to - for one thing we had a house in the UK then.
I just remember blanking out feelings and getting the dog and me on that plane. I think it was just the feeling that I wasn't ever going to be myself again and I was so very homesick. I could hardly pass a travel agents without temptation. I woke up every day with the word 'NO' screaming inside my head. I walked around in this beautiful place and it was like it was a backdrop to a life that I just walked through and took no part in.

A good friend of mine who was in her 60's hated it there too (I was in my late 30's) and I kept on thinking I didn't want to end up like her! I felt I wasn't being true to who I was by staying and yet I wanted it to work so much - my OH loved it in Oz.
I fully understood (still do) it's me and some people can't do emigration.
Well a few years later I'm in NZ. I cope with it. Don't love it; don't hate it. Cost of living, healthcare and colder weather are things i struggle with here on a practical basis. Emotionally I'm indifferent I suppose. If my OH left me or died woudl I stay here? No.

Marriage is now very dodgy and the other night after the same old arguments that almost made me think of all things I'd left behind and should I go back. What stopped me? My dog and the fact that I've nowhere to live, little money. I've never been quite the same since I moved overseas - making decisions is one of the things that have suffered....
Hope you feel better soon Bud.

woodyinoz

The thought of yet another Christmas without family and never having family watch ballet shows etc

the cost of living, cold houses and lack of social life just make it seem worse.

Good luck on your decision. Mine took 3 years to make

kaiajo

When I checked my bank balance !!!!!!!!!!!!! :scared:

joh117

Ditto

Hayley

Having my son. I realised there would be a point (if he grew up here in the US) where we would take a trip home to England and it would be my home and not his. I imagine trying to explain things to him and the love for England and him staring blankly at me and saying "but it's all so small and crowded!"

would break my heart I think, but then your kids are the masters of logic and as a teenager he would probably say "well if England's so great why don't you live there?" hum, good question!

Plus all the usual reasons seen here before (family,humour, culture) My mind started to turn towards moving back in November 2004 (wonder why) and I don't think it's a radical one moment but a gradual process of looking into things and switching back and forth- that's where expats can help. Good luck!

Sandra

I have lived the final straw for four years......I am very tired.

I have never told hubby how I really feel I could not stand the discussions
I have never told the kids why give them facts about my depressions!
I live well here in Aus ...so why should I have problems?
Shut up and put up is what I have been taught.

I have lived the final straw for four years......I am very tired.

I plan my escape...and I hope I have the courage to ask my family to come with me

BUT...possibly I will stay here...forever or for now because I have not the courage to say I will not die here.

Cheers

by the sea side

I understand I too am really tired and planning my escape.It really isn't Australias fault though.

neverland

We had thought about leaving for a long time. I was not happy from day one in Australia. I made a go of it (stayed for four years). We struggled financially, had a lot of bad luck (people breaking into our car numerous times, stealing things of us etc.), which made it all seem even worse. I did not make any real friends (except for immigrants). When I had my baby that was it. I thought, I dont want my baby to have a miserable Mum and I could not see my baby ever growing up to be a 100% Australian child... It just didn't seem "right". Not sure why. I never contemplated going back to my home country though as that would have been too much of a struggle and somehow a step back. We went to Dubai instead and are exceptionally happy here. Did not have many expectations, when we came, but the people here are so friendly, I can really connect with them, I am so much closer to home, still have the sea and sun and it is just 6 hours on a plane with my little one to visit friends back home. It's great. I never once regretted moving. Life is too short to feel miserable.

Budowsky

jesus, you sound like me....

wheatsheaf42

Good Sunday Morning!

Interesting possibly to you but in a similar way my frail elderly in laws ( they were in their late 80s) lived near Croydon and drove over to our neck of Surrey to visit us once a month. Mum in law kept falling over and dad in law was still driving if going a bit blind. One day on one of their Sunday visits I simply said why don't they move nearer us so we can keep an eye on them. Silence etc.

A couple of hours later they were back home in Croydon and the phone rang.It was dad in law telling us that they had discussed it and both had been thinking exactly that for a long time but hadn't had the inclination to chat to the other about it in case the other was upset!

They did move round the corner from us. I had to deal privately with dad in law over occasional trips back to see his very long standing lady "friend" but they lived out the remainder of their lives perfectly happily with frequent visits from wife and I to make sure they were ok.

Pollyana

I've lived it for very nearly three, and I know exactly how you feel.Having just read on here that yet another mate, that arrived at around the same time as me, is not only going home but has split from her husband, it just makes me feel so sad. We all come here with high hopes, and some lucky souls turn their dreams into reality, but the rest of us.....well, I just feel tired and crushed.

Do you sometimes feel that you already have?

RooksieJ

when i realised i was crying every day i went straight to travel agent and booked flights home and immediately felt better. however i really must confess that i was in the early stages of pregnancy and my hormones were crazy mothers. that said, my heart is here in torquay for sure and this is where im staying. also, our eldest daughter was stressed so badly that she was itching her arms red raw that really did do it for me. enough is enough and back we came

RooksieJ

my heart goes out to you mate

Eastbound

Hi
Sorry I dont know you but what a heart felt post please have the courage to at least let hubby know what your thinking we only have one life and youve got to be happy who knows hubby may be feeling the same way at least if you let him know he'll be in the picture best of luck with whatever you decide