Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
that the drops do the trick Trottytrue.
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Tirytory....I think you are making a very wise decision to go home now. Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you stay the feeling of homesickness and not belonging never goes away. It is more difficult to make that move if you are married to a resident of the country you have moved to, they are very happy to be home and not likely to want to return to a country they were not happy in, so
those people have an uphill battle than many times never gets resolved. You end up waiting and waiting for the right opportunity and it never comes, some are lucky as they don't have children to consider but for those who do it's a very difficult situation even if they are fortunate enough to go home they are then split in two never complete the very thing they desired all those years of having family around them is out of reach because they left behind family, so just enjoy the few months you have left in Canada and look forward to returning home.
those people have an uphill battle than many times never gets resolved. You end up waiting and waiting for the right opportunity and it never comes, some are lucky as they don't have children to consider but for those who do it's a very difficult situation even if they are fortunate enough to go home they are then split in two never complete the very thing they desired all those years of having family around them is out of reach because they left behind family, so just enjoy the few months you have left in Canada and look forward to returning home.
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Hope all is well with the rest of you, I have been away for a while I am afraid I had a bad reaction to the cataract op on my left eye. I am now blind in it, the specialist said that this has only happened to him once in his 25 years. I have edema in it that will not go away. I have to wait 2 months put drops in4 times a day and cross my fingers that it works because if it doesn't the alternative is corneal transplant.
I really cannot understand why these things happen to me must be something to do with being conceived during the war. Mother must not have drunk enough milk or my Dad working at the ammunition factory had something to do with it
I really cannot understand why these things happen to me must be something to do with being conceived during the war. Mother must not have drunk enough milk or my Dad working at the ammunition factory had something to do with it
Huhhhh I sound like Bevs parrot.
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Trotty; It's really hard when the universe hands you one challenge after another.
Close your eyes from time to time and visualize the swelling going down and seeing well out of that eye, as well as the drops. I think ll will be well.
Close your eyes from time to time and visualize the swelling going down and seeing well out of that eye, as well as the drops. I think ll will be well.
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Thankyou all for your kind thoughts, I really did think that having the eye op was a small thing compared to what I went through last October and it really is but it's so aggravating I was just getting back on my feet and this happens but I am sure if I keep using the drops and take bandrui's advice good things will happen.one good thing I am not being charged, it's all part of the service
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
From me too Trotty, best wishes for a fast recovery, that drops will work and all improves soon with your eye....
great to hear from you again, though such a shame there has been this setback.
As bandrui says, try positive visualization as well as all the help the drops and any other medical therapy can give.
great to hear from you again, though such a shame there has been this setback.
As bandrui says, try positive visualization as well as all the help the drops and any other medical therapy can give.
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Tirytory....I think you are making a very wise decision to go home now. Sometimes it doesn't matter how long you stay the feeling of homesickness and not belonging never goes away. It is more difficult to make that move if you are married to a resident of the country you have moved to, they are very happy to be home and not likely to want to return to a country they were not happy in, so
those people have an uphill battle than many times never gets resolved. You end up waiting and waiting for the right opportunity and it never comes, some are lucky as they don't have children to consider but for those who do it's a very difficult situation even if they are fortunate enough to go home they are then split in two never complete the very thing they desired all those years of having family around them is out of reach because they left behind family, so just enjoy the few months you have left in Canada and look forward to returning home.
those people have an uphill battle than many times never gets resolved. You end up waiting and waiting for the right opportunity and it never comes, some are lucky as they don't have children to consider but for those who do it's a very difficult situation even if they are fortunate enough to go home they are then split in two never complete the very thing they desired all those years of having family around them is out of reach because they left behind family, so just enjoy the few months you have left in Canada and look forward to returning home.
Hope your eye clears up for you!
Fancy a Cuppa?
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 438
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
It's often our emotions that rule us. Even if your head tells you differently, your heart can't be shut out and ultimately you will just be unhappy. Go with your instincts and you won't regret it.
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Sydney
Posts: 15
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I know you all have seen these posts before, so apologies for this one. I am single, 49, twin 8yr olds, have old English friends migrating back to the UK after 25+yrs in Sydney, longjevity in a company but feel the clock is ticking. All my family live in the UK. I originally came out in 1989 as a 23yr married girl.
My parents are well into their 80's and I have a brother, sister in law and nephew as well as cousins and family. A number of old school friends who live in Norfolk who so faithfully keep in touch.
I am feeling very isolated, at nearly 50. Do i think about retiring or moving back before my boys hit high school or will that be too late for family in terms of age. Mum and Dad won't be around then. How will I feel then? Will the UK feel like home?
As you can see I am very confused and would love some advice on thoughts and pros and cons. Stay or Go?
My parents are well into their 80's and I have a brother, sister in law and nephew as well as cousins and family. A number of old school friends who live in Norfolk who so faithfully keep in touch.
I am feeling very isolated, at nearly 50. Do i think about retiring or moving back before my boys hit high school or will that be too late for family in terms of age. Mum and Dad won't be around then. How will I feel then? Will the UK feel like home?
As you can see I am very confused and would love some advice on thoughts and pros and cons. Stay or Go?
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I know you all have seen these posts before, so apologies for this one. I am single, 49, twin 8yr olds, have old English friends migrating back to the UK after 25+yrs in Sydney, longjevity in a company but feel the clock is ticking. All my family live in the UK. I originally came out in 1989 as a 23yr married girl.
My parents are well into their 80's and I have a brother, sister in law and nephew as well as cousins and family. A number of old school friends who live in Norfolk who so faithfully keep in touch.
I am feeling very isolated, at nearly 50. Do i think about retiring or moving back before my boys hit high school or will that be too late for family in terms of age. Mum and Dad won't be around then. How will I feel then? Will the UK feel like home?
As you can see I am very confused and would love some advice on thoughts and pros and cons. Stay or Go?
My parents are well into their 80's and I have a brother, sister in law and nephew as well as cousins and family. A number of old school friends who live in Norfolk who so faithfully keep in touch.
I am feeling very isolated, at nearly 50. Do i think about retiring or moving back before my boys hit high school or will that be too late for family in terms of age. Mum and Dad won't be around then. How will I feel then? Will the UK feel like home?
As you can see I am very confused and would love some advice on thoughts and pros and cons. Stay or Go?
I say go now, spend more time with your parents/family and let them enjoy your twins, its obvious your not settled, I think waiting may only make things more difficult.
If you go now your kids will have a great chance to integrate into the British school system, the longer they stay in Oz the more likely they wont want to leave, plus it might be more difficult later on, once they hit their teens they have a mind of their own.
Many parents wait till the kids are older then its impossible for many reasons to make that move...
Will the UK feel like home, many things have changed over the years and many things have stayed the same, it all depends what you are looking for.
Do you really want to stay in the Oz for the rest of your life, that's the question, if the answer is no its time to make plans.
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: Sydney
Posts: 15
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Hi Kath.
I say go now, spend more time with your parents/family and let them enjoy your twins, its obvious your not settled, I think waiting may only make things more difficult.
If you go now your kids will have a great chance to integrate into the British school system, the longer they stay in Oz the more likely they wont want to leave, plus it might be more difficult later on, once they hit their teens they have a mind of their own.
Many parents wait till the kids are older then its impossible for many reasons to make that move...
Will the UK feel like home, many things have changed over the years and many things have stayed the same, it all depends what you are looking for.
Do you really want to stay in the Oz for the rest of your life, that's the question, if the answer is no its time to make plans.
I say go now, spend more time with your parents/family and let them enjoy your twins, its obvious your not settled, I think waiting may only make things more difficult.
If you go now your kids will have a great chance to integrate into the British school system, the longer they stay in Oz the more likely they wont want to leave, plus it might be more difficult later on, once they hit their teens they have a mind of their own.
Many parents wait till the kids are older then its impossible for many reasons to make that move...
Will the UK feel like home, many things have changed over the years and many things have stayed the same, it all depends what you are looking for.
Do you really want to stay in the Oz for the rest of your life, that's the question, if the answer is no its time to make plans.
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Welcome, Kath. I second what Fish and Chips says, absolutely.
Now is the ideal time to go, while the children are still young enough to make the transition. The older they get the harder it is, the firmer their friendships are, the more they are entrenched in the school system.
And making such a move with two unwilling almost high-schoolers....that would be hard!
I am one of the many people on here who wanted to move back while the kids were younger, for one reason and another--no blame here, the reasons were legitimate- it didn't happen, and then I had to wait until DH retired!
You are single, so have only yourself to please and worry about.
(Though your freedom to take the children to UK may depend on what agreements/permissions are in place with their father).
The children are twins, so you aren't in the position many are in, where one child's schooling is at a good transition point while another's is not.
I can see it may be hard to leave a company where you have built seniority, and only you will know about the possibilities of employment in your field in the UK.
But you are in a luckier position for leaving than most; and if you feel isolated now, after so much time there, and missing home, this is not likely to get better.
edited to add: I wrote that before your reply to Fish appeared. A holiday is a good idea.
Now is the ideal time to go, while the children are still young enough to make the transition. The older they get the harder it is, the firmer their friendships are, the more they are entrenched in the school system.
And making such a move with two unwilling almost high-schoolers....that would be hard!
I am one of the many people on here who wanted to move back while the kids were younger, for one reason and another--no blame here, the reasons were legitimate- it didn't happen, and then I had to wait until DH retired!
You are single, so have only yourself to please and worry about.
(Though your freedom to take the children to UK may depend on what agreements/permissions are in place with their father).
The children are twins, so you aren't in the position many are in, where one child's schooling is at a good transition point while another's is not.
I can see it may be hard to leave a company where you have built seniority, and only you will know about the possibilities of employment in your field in the UK.
But you are in a luckier position for leaving than most; and if you feel isolated now, after so much time there, and missing home, this is not likely to get better.
edited to add: I wrote that before your reply to Fish appeared. A holiday is a good idea.
Last edited by between two worlds; Aug 29th 2014 at 6:53 am. Reason: cross-posted
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Back home now in my home town in England U.K. after 36 years in U.S. now retired and loving it,
Posts: 3,208
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Even if you wait another 2 or 3 years I feel it would be to late, the boys are nice and young now still, and at the moment it is your decision to move back home, not theres, ----- and they will very happily and quickly settle in to the UK way of life with new friends etc etc
every year you leave it the decision just becomes harder as time goes on, and what has already been said, your boys will be in high school with deep rooted lives and friends and there whole life will be there in Australia and good luck on trying to convince them to live in a country that they have never been to at that point!!!!
Take care,
Rodney.
Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
+1 to what others have said - looking objectively at what you have said, now seems to be the time.
Moving always involves some level of sacrifice. It can be hard to leave a good situation (job), but the advantages of improvements in other areas of your life will offset those.
I moved back in 2006 partly because of the answer to the question "Do I want to stay in the US forever/retire in the US?" (the answer was essentially "No"). I really, really, REALLY miss my professional life in the US but financially and long-term, moving back has made sense. It can be difficult in the early years but there will come a point where you realise you are back on your feet and moving forward rather than looking back.
Moving always involves some level of sacrifice. It can be hard to leave a good situation (job), but the advantages of improvements in other areas of your life will offset those.
I moved back in 2006 partly because of the answer to the question "Do I want to stay in the US forever/retire in the US?" (the answer was essentially "No"). I really, really, REALLY miss my professional life in the US but financially and long-term, moving back has made sense. It can be difficult in the early years but there will come a point where you realise you are back on your feet and moving forward rather than looking back.