Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
May 25th 2015, 9:31 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
USbrit I think you have had some really helpful input from islandwoman. her story is so encouraging and inspiring especially for people planning to move back to the UK alone.
It is really hard when you are leaving family behind, especially if they are pressuring you not to go. But as you say, the US is such a huge country that even staying there you might not see much of them anyway.
This dilemma is a common one on the forum and in the end only you can know what is best. But here we all understand that longing to go home.
It is really hard when you are leaving family behind, especially if they are pressuring you not to go. But as you say, the US is such a huge country that even staying there you might not see much of them anyway.
This dilemma is a common one on the forum and in the end only you can know what is best. But here we all understand that longing to go home.
May 25th 2015, 11:27 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
usbrit......I think islandwoman made some very good points having been in your position she is aware of the pros and cons.... She has really worked hard at finding a place for herself somewhere to fit in. It takes determination...
As for family we love them but in the end it's your life and time is running out and if you don't do it you will regret it. I have a daughter and two sons I really don't see my sons very often distance is a big problem and they are always so busy...my daughter lives close but is thinking of moving to Maine in a couple of years she wants me to move with her but I really don't want to. See nothing is permanent your daughter and Granddaughter can have very different futures and then what are you suppose to do. You missed your chance...
I was on my way home I am your age but I had kept delaying never finding the right time and our house took years to sell, then when everything was in place illness messed the whole thing up. Once I was well my husband became sick and there is no coming back from what he has so I have to live with it and regret ...the longing never goes away and somehow as you get older the longing gets worse....it's not so much family in the UK I long for its a way of life it's so much easier to grow old and be independent in the UK and it has so much to offer. Here in the U.S so many older people become housebound once they have their cars taken away from them they cannot get around they become isolated and are heading for old folks homes.....that's why you see so many old people who should not be behind the wheel but they hang on. I see it in my neighbourhood one old lady is 95 and still drives and an old man two doors from me is in his late 80's almost completely deaf and is still driving even though he is suffering from mild dementia...the police do wellness checks but the old man has no relatives in the area.
My sister who lives outside London is 95 she is still in her own home she has an electric wheelchair she uses to go the shops she meets with friends once a week at the local Church has meals on wheels delivered and is very happy..
As for family we love them but in the end it's your life and time is running out and if you don't do it you will regret it. I have a daughter and two sons I really don't see my sons very often distance is a big problem and they are always so busy...my daughter lives close but is thinking of moving to Maine in a couple of years she wants me to move with her but I really don't want to. See nothing is permanent your daughter and Granddaughter can have very different futures and then what are you suppose to do. You missed your chance...
I was on my way home I am your age but I had kept delaying never finding the right time and our house took years to sell, then when everything was in place illness messed the whole thing up. Once I was well my husband became sick and there is no coming back from what he has so I have to live with it and regret ...the longing never goes away and somehow as you get older the longing gets worse....it's not so much family in the UK I long for its a way of life it's so much easier to grow old and be independent in the UK and it has so much to offer. Here in the U.S so many older people become housebound once they have their cars taken away from them they cannot get around they become isolated and are heading for old folks homes.....that's why you see so many old people who should not be behind the wheel but they hang on. I see it in my neighbourhood one old lady is 95 and still drives and an old man two doors from me is in his late 80's almost completely deaf and is still driving even though he is suffering from mild dementia...the police do wellness checks but the old man has no relatives in the area.
My sister who lives outside London is 95 she is still in her own home she has an electric wheelchair she uses to go the shops she meets with friends once a week at the local Church has meals on wheels delivered and is very happy..
May 25th 2015, 11:45 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Here in the U.S so many older people become housebound once they have their cars taken away from them they cannot get around they become isolated and are heading for old folks homes.....that's why you see so many old people who should not be behind the wheel but they hang on. I see it in my neighbourhood one old lady is 95 and still drives and an old man two doors from me is in his late 80's almost completely deaf and is still driving even though he is suffering from mild dementia...the police do wellness checks but the old man has no relatives in the area.
My sister who lives outside London is 95 she is still in her own home she has an electric wheelchair she uses to go the shops she meets with friends once a week at the local Church has meals on wheels delivered and is very happy..
My sister who lives outside London is 95 she is still in her own home she has an electric wheelchair she uses to go the shops she meets with friends once a week at the local Church has meals on wheels delivered and is very happy..
May 26th 2015, 12:10 am
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Perthhomeschool.....I think independence is the most important factor. Like you say in most places in the U.S. It is impossible to walk to the shops or anywhere unless you live in Town. Most places don't have pavements, sidewalks here. You have to be very careful.
I had to start driving again once my husband became sick I am still not comfortable and would never go on highways but I am managing.
My niece just got back from London she had a wonderful time she lives in Lacashire they went by train, had a guided tour of Churchills bunker, went to the Theatre and loved it....
I had to start driving again once my husband became sick I am still not comfortable and would never go on highways but I am managing.
My niece just got back from London she had a wonderful time she lives in Lacashire they went by train, had a guided tour of Churchills bunker, went to the Theatre and loved it....
May 26th 2015, 4:24 am
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Many thanks to you all. You have certainly given me the encouragement I need...not that I needed too much, but there are a few things that I'm glad people on this forum pointed out or advised and I'm almost ready to make the plans. I just got my British passport back (couldn't believe how fast it went. I mailed it to England and I had it back in exactly two weeks)!! My US passport should be here in a week or so, so once that's all in place, I do believe its a go.
To Islandwoman, I will be sure to try not to get bored and look to make a few friends. As you said, Trotty, it's not so much family in the UK I long for its a way of life...the reactions in a conversation, etc. Great points about being able to get around in England as well at my age. It's so true about driving here as one gets older, I mean, what else can you do, and there appears to be so much being done for seniors there. AgeUK has a great thing on their website: Returning home to the UK, that has been very helpful, too.
It's a good thing to have dual citizenship, and although I want to concentrate on 'living' in England, what a blessing it is to know that there's partly a back-up system in place should I need to return to the US.
Oh yes, Trotty, I was born in Lancashire, but it is Merseyside now. Glad your niece had a nice time in London. Also, I agree about the chance that my daughter and granddaughter could move away, and that's been my way of thinking in all this. If my daughter gets a new job or meets someone and she HAS to move, I'd be so excited for her I'd be pushing her out of the door. Then the cycle for me would start again...as I said, my son lives in Arkansas, an 18 hour drive or so from here. When I lived in Florida, I was 21 hours drive from my daughter...two days travelling and the cost of a hotel stay.
Thanks again, 'yall, haha. Now I need to take a deep breath and see how the next few weeks go, and save, save, save....and sell my car for a little more pocket money.
To Islandwoman, I will be sure to try not to get bored and look to make a few friends. As you said, Trotty, it's not so much family in the UK I long for its a way of life...the reactions in a conversation, etc. Great points about being able to get around in England as well at my age. It's so true about driving here as one gets older, I mean, what else can you do, and there appears to be so much being done for seniors there. AgeUK has a great thing on their website: Returning home to the UK, that has been very helpful, too.
It's a good thing to have dual citizenship, and although I want to concentrate on 'living' in England, what a blessing it is to know that there's partly a back-up system in place should I need to return to the US.
Oh yes, Trotty, I was born in Lancashire, but it is Merseyside now. Glad your niece had a nice time in London. Also, I agree about the chance that my daughter and granddaughter could move away, and that's been my way of thinking in all this. If my daughter gets a new job or meets someone and she HAS to move, I'd be so excited for her I'd be pushing her out of the door. Then the cycle for me would start again...as I said, my son lives in Arkansas, an 18 hour drive or so from here. When I lived in Florida, I was 21 hours drive from my daughter...two days travelling and the cost of a hotel stay.
Thanks again, 'yall, haha. Now I need to take a deep breath and see how the next few weeks go, and save, save, save....and sell my car for a little more pocket money.
May 26th 2015, 3:50 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Many thanks to you all. You have certainly given me the encouragement I need...not that I needed too much, but there are a few things that I'm glad people on this forum pointed out or advised and I'm almost ready to make the plans. I just got my British passport back (couldn't believe how fast it went. I mailed it to England and I had it back in exactly two weeks)!! My US passport should be here in a week or so, so once that's all in place, I do believe its a go.
To Islandwoman, I will be sure to try not to get bored and look to make a few friends. As you said, Trotty, it's not so much family in the UK I long for its a way of life...the reactions in a conversation, etc. Great points about being able to get around in England as well at my age. It's so true about driving here as one gets older, I mean, what else can you do, and there appears to be so much being done for seniors there. AgeUK has a great thing on their website: Returning home to the UK, that has been very helpful, too.
It's a good thing to have dual citizenship, and although I want to concentrate on 'living' in England, what a blessing it is to know that there's partly a back-up system in place should I need to return to the US.
Oh yes, Trotty, I was born in Lancashire, but it is Merseyside now. Glad your niece had a nice time in London. Also, I agree about the chance that my daughter and granddaughter could move away, and that's been my way of thinking in all this. If my daughter gets a new job or meets someone and she HAS to move, I'd be so excited for her I'd be pushing her out of the door. Then the cycle for me would start again...as I said, my son lives in Arkansas, an 18 hour drive or so from here. When I lived in Florida, I was 21 hours drive from my daughter...two days travelling and the cost of a hotel stay.
Thanks again, 'yall, haha. Now I need to take a deep breath and see how the next few weeks go, and save, save, save....and sell my car for a little more pocket money.
To Islandwoman, I will be sure to try not to get bored and look to make a few friends. As you said, Trotty, it's not so much family in the UK I long for its a way of life...the reactions in a conversation, etc. Great points about being able to get around in England as well at my age. It's so true about driving here as one gets older, I mean, what else can you do, and there appears to be so much being done for seniors there. AgeUK has a great thing on their website: Returning home to the UK, that has been very helpful, too.
It's a good thing to have dual citizenship, and although I want to concentrate on 'living' in England, what a blessing it is to know that there's partly a back-up system in place should I need to return to the US.
Oh yes, Trotty, I was born in Lancashire, but it is Merseyside now. Glad your niece had a nice time in London. Also, I agree about the chance that my daughter and granddaughter could move away, and that's been my way of thinking in all this. If my daughter gets a new job or meets someone and she HAS to move, I'd be so excited for her I'd be pushing her out of the door. Then the cycle for me would start again...as I said, my son lives in Arkansas, an 18 hour drive or so from here. When I lived in Florida, I was 21 hours drive from my daughter...two days travelling and the cost of a hotel stay.
Thanks again, 'yall, haha. Now I need to take a deep breath and see how the next few weeks go, and save, save, save....and sell my car for a little more pocket money.
I have been following your posts on here for the past few days and Islandwoman and trottytrue have given you very good advice, it comes from there experience and straight from the heart,
Im also the same age as you and trotty, I will be 70 in a few days time in June, I came home 4 and half years ago after 36 years in the States, mostly in Nevada, we all have our reasons for coming home, some like trotty get bad breaks and illness that prevents them from coming home, even though they have worked hard at planning the move, and then suddenly something terrible happens that destroys your chances of coming home, and thats it!!! it happened to trotty that way,
truly heartbreaking,
I came home when I retired, and my main reason for coming home was to look after my Mum, she will be 96 next month and still going strong
coming home really did work out very well for me, it took a while for me to settle down and settle in to the life style in England, but now I love my life here and I could not be happier!!!! out of all the people on this thread that have come home in the last 5 years since I have been a member I only remember two that went back to America, and there has been many people that have returned home in that time!!! so for the vast majority of us it works out good,
But as you say you have a U.K. and a U.S. passport, I do also, so if it dont work out you can always at anytime return to the States, ---- but I really do think that you will do fine, and after a while you will know that you made the right decision and be glad you did,
May 26th 2015, 4:39 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
By the way Trotty, I'm sad about your situation and all the plans you'd made. Good to know you are now well, though, and I do hope hubby is doing OK, too. (Prayers 
)
Jasper, many, many thanks for your words of encouragement. Kind of finalizes things, huh!
Would you believe I've been on an apartment list for months and most Senior Housing here in Connecticut has waiting lists for 1 to 2 and even 3 years long, and today I got a call from one of them. Can't believe it!!!! Still, I will keep the appointment and take my paperwork along, but it has made me realize how much I want to move to England, and that it is now interfering with my momentum. Wow, it's good to finally have my mind made up...at least more clearly! It just added a bit of intrigue to it all, some upset in holding the inevitable/subsequent conversation since I got the call, but intrigue and excitement nevertheless.
)Jasper, many, many thanks for your words of encouragement. Kind of finalizes things, huh!
Would you believe I've been on an apartment list for months and most Senior Housing here in Connecticut has waiting lists for 1 to 2 and even 3 years long, and today I got a call from one of them. Can't believe it!!!! Still, I will keep the appointment and take my paperwork along, but it has made me realize how much I want to move to England, and that it is now interfering with my momentum. Wow, it's good to finally have my mind made up...at least more clearly! It just added a bit of intrigue to it all, some upset in holding the inevitable/subsequent conversation since I got the call, but intrigue and excitement nevertheless.
May 26th 2015, 5:19 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
By the way Trotty, I'm sad about your situation and all the plans you'd made. Good to know you are now well, though, and I do hope hubby is doing OK, too. (Prayers )
Jasper, many, many thanks for your words of encouragement. Kind of finalizes things, huh!
Would you believe I've been on an apartment list for months and most Senior Housing here in Connecticut has waiting lists for 1 to 2 and even 3 years long, and today I got a call from one of them. Can't believe it!!!! Still, I will keep the appointment and take my paperwork along, but it has made me realize how much I want to move to England, and that it is now interfering with my momentum. Wow, it's good to finally have my mind made up...at least more clearly! It just added a bit of intrigue to it all, some upset in holding the inevitable/subsequent conversation since I got the call, but intrigue and excitement nevertheless.
)Jasper, many, many thanks for your words of encouragement. Kind of finalizes things, huh!
Would you believe I've been on an apartment list for months and most Senior Housing here in Connecticut has waiting lists for 1 to 2 and even 3 years long, and today I got a call from one of them. Can't believe it!!!! Still, I will keep the appointment and take my paperwork along, but it has made me realize how much I want to move to England, and that it is now interfering with my momentum. Wow, it's good to finally have my mind made up...at least more clearly! It just added a bit of intrigue to it all, some upset in holding the inevitable/subsequent conversation since I got the call, but intrigue and excitement nevertheless.
May 26th 2015, 6:47 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Absolutely, Island. Just sitting working out the rent and other expenses if I took the apartment...not a lot of wiggle room except that my median income here in CT would qualify me for about $150 food benefit, which would help a lot, but other than that, no significant amount to be able to make it worth while. So 'just making it here' I might as well be 'just making it in England'. Besides, I don't want to use the money I've saved so far to pay for the first month's rent and the usual expenses of moving that goes with it. I'd rather use it on my plane ticket. I will definitely go to the local council and/or housing authority once I get there, and check in with the Dept. of Work and Pensions to see where I stand on that, and open up a checking account right away. The other savings will be not having to buy gasoline and the rest of the expenses that go with having a vehicle. After a while though, I may consider getting myself a used car. The last time I was in England, I bought a nice little car for 300 pounds and it ran very well. I can drive a stick-shift if that's all I can find, but will hope for an automatic--if I get to that point, that is.
Hope I don't get into a 'manky' room though (never heard that before, heard of 'mangy' haha), so I'll ask my cousin in Dorset to help me out with the search a bit.
Hope I don't get into a 'manky' room though (never heard that before, heard of 'mangy' haha), so I'll ask my cousin in Dorset to help me out with the search a bit.
May 26th 2015, 7:43 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Absolutely, Island. Just sitting working out the rent and other expenses if I took the apartment...not a lot of wiggle room except that my median income here in CT would qualify me for about $150 food benefit, which would help a lot, but other than that, no significant amount to be able to make it worth while. So 'just making it here' I might as well be 'just making it in England'. Besides, I don't want to use the money I've saved so far to pay for the first month's rent and the usual expenses of moving that goes with it. I'd rather use it on my plane ticket. I will definitely go to the local council and/or housing authority once I get there, and check in with the Dept. of Work and Pensions to see where I stand on that, and open up a checking account right away. The other savings will be not having to buy gasoline and the rest of the expenses that go with having a vehicle. After a while though, I may consider getting myself a used car. The last time I was in England, I bought a nice little car for 300 pounds and it ran very well. I can drive a stick-shift if that's all I can find, but will hope for an automatic--if I get to that point, that is.
Hope I don't get into a 'manky' room though (never heard that before, heard of 'mangy' haha), so I'll ask my cousin in Dorset to help me out with the search a bit.
Hope I don't get into a 'manky' room though (never heard that before, heard of 'mangy' haha), so I'll ask my cousin in Dorset to help me out with the search a bit.
May 26th 2015, 9:43 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Just an idea.. Have you thought of looking up fares on QM2 and certain times of the year they can be just as good if not better than airfares. Takes a week but includes everything except for alcohol (think so).. It can at times be cheaper than an airfare. Depending on where you will end up look into flying into Dublin to save on all taxes they impose at major airports and cities. Anyway bonne chance..
May 26th 2015, 10:23 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Just an idea.. Have you thought of looking up fares on QM2 and certain times of the year they can be just as good if not better than airfares. Takes a week but includes everything except for alcohol (think so).. It can at times be cheaper than an airfare. Depending on where you will end up look into flying into Dublin to save on all taxes they impose at major airports and cities. Anyway bonne chance..
May 26th 2015, 11:31 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Post on Rovers Return, check out prices on the QE2....check! My stomach is churning already, and I've lots to do. You've all been great. I'll post when things are set. Wow!
May 26th 2015, 11:41 pm
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
Just an idea.. Have you thought of looking up fares on QM2 and certain times of the year they can be just as good if not better than airfares. Takes a week but includes everything except for alcohol (think so).. It can at times be cheaper than an airfare. Depending on where you will end up look into flying into Dublin to save on all taxes they impose at major airports and cities. Anyway bonne chance..
I'd love to try that.
May 27th 2015, 11:24 am
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Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
I can see that you are a very positive person, and it looks to me that you know what you want, and so I think that you would have no trouble making things work here in U.K.
The only advice I can give you at this stage is, slow down a little and make sure you have enough money to come over with, it is a big move!!!! especially after a lifetime in the States,
I found with my own experience that there was a lot of things to do to finalize my life in the States, a lot of sorting through all my stuff, what to take and what to donate or just chuck out!!!
legal things too, a lot to think about really, but you at least do have family that will be still there in U.S. when you leave, so for you thats good, so in case you forget something ---- they will be able to take care of it for you ---- so no worries, I wish you all the luck in the world I really do, but for you being positive and the right attitude I doubt if you will have any problems at all in your new life