Go Back   British Expats / Living & Moving Abroad / Moving back to the UK / The Rovers Return

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 1:21 am   #46
BE Enthusiast
 
Teaandtoday5's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 776
Teaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP View Post
No, just Ottawa mentality. They're constantly checking house prices, even though there's no intention to buy or sell, talking about their latest shopping adventure and what they bought or what they plan to buy and "healthy eating" (even though they're quite happy to shovel Goldfish crackers and muffins into their kids when we get together), which activities they've signed their babies up for (oh, my little Johnny just loves music, I think he's going to be a musician when he grows up ... oh ffs!) ... and if I have to listen once more to where their kids are on percentile scales, I swear I'll go nuts! It's all so bloody shallow, there's no real community and everyone disappears for the hills when there's any hint of someone ending any sort of assistance. I've tried to 'fit in', but am fed up with the backhand comments, sharp intakes of breath and general put-downs and cold shouldering. I only go to these groups now for my son's sake.
Some of the most miserable times of my life were when my children were In pre-school groups. The phrase 'mother and toddler' is synonymous with hell to me. When they finally got too old for them I mentioned my relief to one acquaintance, who totally agreed. I look back now, and wonder what the hell I was thinking. If I didn't go I felt like I was failing my children but I hated every second of every group for 8 years, until all three were too old for them. I realise there is more to your problem than kids groups, but seriously quit. I wish I had.
Teaandtoday5 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 7:31 am   #47
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,948
Moses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP View Post
The fact that I was born and raised in Northern Ireland is why I'm worried about racism! Growing up, Ireland (Northern Ireland in particular) wasn't exactly a hotbed of multiculturalism, so those of different ethnicity stood out like sore thumbs and it wasn't unusual to hear terms such as "Paki" and "Chinky". My husband is Filipino Canadian and was well warned that he would possibly be referred to as a "Chinky" when were over on holiday a few years back. He's pretty laid back about it (or says he is, he's a man of few words but the feelings run deep), as he has experienced racism on and off throughout his life, so my concerns really lie in trying to make sure any move across the pond is to the right place and settlement is as simple and pleasant as possible - Lord knows, it's all complicated and stressful enough without the added complication of xenophobia from the natives.
I can't comment on all of Northern Ireland but Galway you were considering is so multicultural and the majority of people aren't bothered if somebody is Irish, European, African, Asian etc.


Even if you were the only foreigner in a village doesn't mean you won't be accepted and sometimes people even show more interest if someone looks different than others and integrates. Things have changed and no doubt there are issues with the migrant crisis, religion but scumbags will always find a reason to hate somebody.




If you go to rough areas, somebody would probably be worse off with a football jersey from a club they don't like. Regardles of skin colour, there are always places to avoid in every country and as long as youavoid certain places it's fine.
Moses2013 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 7:38 am   #48
Editha Female
Was in Canada, now home.
 
Editha's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Devon
Posts: 3,364
Editha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bermudashorts View Post
Don't most visas need to be paid for? I have lived in a couple of other countries now and visas have not been free. Not sure where you are coming from to be honest.
If you read the thread you will work it out.
Editha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 1:22 pm   #49
TrishP Female
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 1,660
TrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teaandtoday5 View Post
Some of the most miserable times of my life were when my children were In pre-school groups. The phrase 'mother and toddler' is synonymous with hell to me. When they finally got too old for them I mentioned my relief to one acquaintance, who totally agreed. I look back now, and wonder what the hell I was thinking. If I didn't go I felt like I was failing my children but I hated every second of every group for 8 years, until all three were too old for them. I realise there is more to your problem than kids groups, but seriously quit. I wish I had.
I have one child and we live in the arsehole of nowhere - unless I make the effort on his behalf, he's stuck looking at me day in and day out, so not going isn't really an option, unfortunately. The one saving grace is Friday playgroup, as there's a merry band of 4 Brits who club together in one corner to laugh at all the helicopter parents!
TrishP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 1:39 pm   #50
Lt Col (Retd)
Premium Member
 
Pulaski's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 42,030
Pulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond reputePulaski has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP View Post
I have one child and we live in the arsehole of nowhere - unless I make the effort on his behalf, he's stuck looking at me day in and day out, so not going isn't really an option, unfortunately. The one saving grace is Friday playgroup, as there's a merry band of 4 Brits who club together in one corner to laugh at all the helicopter parents!
It's not surprising that you find Canada a very lonely country to live in and you're never going to be accepted if your efforts to fit in are tipified by banding together with other Brits to laugh at all the helicopter parents!
__________________
As quoted in the Grauniad.
Pulaski is online now   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 1:45 pm   #51
TrishP Female
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 1,660
TrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
It's not surprising that you find Canada a very lonely country to live in and you're never going to be accepted if your efforts to fit in are tipified by banding together with other Brits to laugh at all the helicopter parents!
It's only in the past year that I have made friends with any British people in Canada and it's more been out of desperation as Canadians have tended to be so shallow and fair weather. So, no, I haven't 'stuck with my own' over the past 11 years, but have made many and repeated efforts to make friends, but there is an insurmountable wall with Canadians if you 're of the type to make real friends and not just a bunch of acquaintances.
TrishP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 6:28 pm   #52
Editha Female
Was in Canada, now home.
 
Editha's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Devon
Posts: 3,364
Editha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Helicopter parent is a term usually used of the parents of a teen or college aged young person, who takes an excessive interest in their welfare.

I don't think it is possible to be the helicopter parent of a pre-school.
Editha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 3rd 2016, 9:46 pm   #53
Born again atheist
Premium Member
 
Novocastrian's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Europe (to be specified).
Posts: 28,978
Novocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond reputeNovocastrian has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Editha View Post
Helicopter parent is a term usually used of the parents of a teen or college aged young person, who takes an excessive interest in their welfare.

I don't think it is possible to be the helicopter parent of a pre-school.
You'd be surprised. It's perfectly possible and even common these days. As it was 30 odd years ago in Toronto.
__________________
Pendelfahrer zwischen Frankreich und England.
Novocastrian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 4th 2016, 12:24 am   #54
What year is this?
Premium Member
 
BristolUK's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 19,401
BristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Editha View Post
Helicopter parent is a term usually used of the parents of a teen or college aged young person, who takes an excessive interest in their welfare.

I don't think it is possible to be the helicopter parent of a pre-school.
I had to look it up as I'd never heard of it. I read lots of definitions applying to a child of any age. Although there were some mentions of it primarily applying to older kids, even those said it could still be any age.

I'm still learning things
BristolUK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 4th 2016, 1:13 am   #55
TrishP Female
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 1,660
TrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Novocastrian View Post
You'd be surprised. It's perfectly possible and even common these days. As it was 30 odd years ago in Toronto.
They're perfectly easy to spot in a pre-school environment, interfering in their kids' choice of toys, how they play with them, their interactions with other kids, forcing them to "share darling" (when they aren't developmentally ready for it). I was a paediatric therapist in a previous life, so can spot the difference between parents who facilitate and those who take over!
TrishP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 4th 2016, 1:20 am   #56
BE Enthusiast
 
Teaandtoday5's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 776
Teaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond reputeTeaandtoday5 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishP View Post
They're perfectly easy to spot in a pre-school environment, interfering in their kids' choice of toys, how they play with them, their interactions with other kids, forcing them to "share darling" (when they aren't developmentally ready for it). I was a paediatric therapist in a previous life, so can spot the difference between parents who facilitate and those who take over!
As a bit of a control freak I can sympathise with the temptation to 'hover'. 'Performance parenting' however, does my head in.
Teaandtoday5 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 4th 2016, 1:29 am   #57
TrishP Female
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 1,660
TrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond reputeTrishP has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teaandtoday5 View Post
As a bit of a control freak I can sympathise with the temptation to 'hover'. 'Performance parenting' however, does my head in.
What really does my head in is the feminising of boys' behaviour here ... it's generally frowned upon when wee boys run and around and basically act like wee boys, rather than sit quietly at tables doing crafts.
TrishP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 4th 2016, 9:30 am   #58
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2012
Location: South Bucks
Posts: 1,580
feelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond reputefeelbritish has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

Just want to add my support here for you. Having also experienced the loneliness in Canada, on Vancouver Island for 12 years (first 3 years were ok as it was new and exciting) plus the shallowness, no sense of humour and not fitting in, I eventually pursuaded my British OH to retire back here. We had no children to worry about or to make friends with parents. We seemed to be accepted as "foreigners" but it was all on the surface. Funnily enough as me being from South Africa originally I was more accepted than my Brit OH who was always being ripped off for his Britishness. I feel far more at home here than I ever did in Canada and dont miss it at all! I don't think you will experience racism here especially in SE as Britain is pretty multicultural. As a Canadian here I think he would be well accepted, more than you are over there! BTW the feeling of loneliness never left me and I believe no matter where you move to it will not change. Canada has a good image outside to the world but it is very different from within. As has been said before this is the place to vent! Wishing you well.
feelbritish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 11th 2016, 3:35 am   #59
Just Joined
 
Joined: Nov 2016
Location: Rural BC
Posts: 27
Benson55 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

I live in Canada and agree with you. I am moving back to the UK in a few years when I can sell this business I own.
Canada has changed a lot for the worse, there is more people but more culture in the UK.
Benson55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Nov 11th 2016, 8:37 am   #60
Editha Female
Was in Canada, now home.
 
Editha's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Devon
Posts: 3,364
Editha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond reputeEditha has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I'm a Brit, get me out of here!

I don't know what posters mean when they write that the UK has 'more culture'. All societies have a culture, and I don't see how one can have more than another.
Editha is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   British Expats / Living & Moving Abroad / Moving back to the UK / The Rovers Return


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT. The time now is 8:09 pm.


Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 1999-2010 BritishExpats.com