How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
#91
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 33
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by dunroving
Part of the answer to your first question is that the popular media put so much effort sending out the message "UK bad, Oz good ... UK bad, Oz good ...."
(That is part tongue in cheek, but also largely serious).
I hear what you are saying in your second part, but I'm not sure many of these things are really the reasons why people are leaving Oz. I read posts from a lot of people who went there because they had this image of Oz (and of the UK, see comment on popular media), and did not realize until they got there that Oz won't solve the problems you preceived you had in the UK. Plus, they weren't prepared for the heartwrenching effect of being so far from parents, grandparents, and friends. Once you decide you want to return, you focus on the bad things about where you are and the good things about where you want to be - it's human nature. Whingeing about Oz is a protective mechanism, bit like whingeing about Poms.
And as for the comments about the heritage of Oz, remember that convicts are a lot tougher than the average person, back then their life really WAS crap in the UK, and they had no choice. Put all of those things together and it's not hard to see why they stayed.
(That is part tongue in cheek, but also largely serious).
I hear what you are saying in your second part, but I'm not sure many of these things are really the reasons why people are leaving Oz. I read posts from a lot of people who went there because they had this image of Oz (and of the UK, see comment on popular media), and did not realize until they got there that Oz won't solve the problems you preceived you had in the UK. Plus, they weren't prepared for the heartwrenching effect of being so far from parents, grandparents, and friends. Once you decide you want to return, you focus on the bad things about where you are and the good things about where you want to be - it's human nature. Whingeing about Oz is a protective mechanism, bit like whingeing about Poms.
And as for the comments about the heritage of Oz, remember that convicts are a lot tougher than the average person, back then their life really WAS crap in the UK, and they had no choice. Put all of those things together and it's not hard to see why they stayed.
My husband always says that they got it the wrong way around, they should have left the convicts in the UK and sent everyone else to Oz.
#92
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 43
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
I have read this thread with great interest because its very pertinent to our situation. We have been here for over six months now, and despite the hard work and effort it took to actually get here in the first place (as we did the whole migration thing ourselves), I have no hesitation in holding my hands up in the air and saying "its not for me". What is wrong with that? For us, we dont have a huge array of relatives to go back to - we will go back with very little financially. Someone earlier on here wrote that quality of life is having a purpose and a sense of belonging. Too right, these components make up ones self esteem, if you have not got those things, you loose your self worth. Then you start to feel depressed. I can say from experience, ( and I wont elaborate), that I have never met so many depressed individuals since I arrived here. Why are they depressed? Sunshine, beaches, good wines - you ask yourselves - in my opinion, they have lost their sense of self worth. In our situation two years or five years or 40 years is too high a price to pay to wait to get my self worth back. My husband feels exactly the same. We came here twice on holiday before we finally came for good, however this did not prepare us for the day to day living of being in Oz. For those who advise to go back for a holiday to the UK first, I would think twice. You are only putting yourself into a false state of being, a holiday IS a holiday, and a false sense of illusion. I have always been happy on holiday - not having the stresses of everyday living around you, and not having to work. Its an illusion. If you feel like to want to go back and have given it plenty of thought, why have a holiday just to find out what you want?
Quite frankly, I dont care what anyone else in the UK think if we go back so quickly. We have emailed few people to let them know what we are doing, and we have had some lovely replies from those who care.
I think we came to Oz at the wrong time, when the housing market increased in price. This coupled with the high cost of living (food, bills etc) has made us fall in to a trap of all work and no play. We did not come here for this. The quality of life was not what we thought, and I dont want to wait for two to three years in order to get citizenship just to tell myself exactly the same. I guess its taken me a huge expense and rollercoaster of emotions to know where my heart is, and its not in Australia.
Quite frankly, I dont care what anyone else in the UK think if we go back so quickly. We have emailed few people to let them know what we are doing, and we have had some lovely replies from those who care.
I think we came to Oz at the wrong time, when the housing market increased in price. This coupled with the high cost of living (food, bills etc) has made us fall in to a trap of all work and no play. We did not come here for this. The quality of life was not what we thought, and I dont want to wait for two to three years in order to get citizenship just to tell myself exactly the same. I guess its taken me a huge expense and rollercoaster of emotions to know where my heart is, and its not in Australia.
#93
Stuck in time!
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 69
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by scoobydoo
I have read this thread with great interest because its very pertinent to our situation. We have been here for over six months now, and despite the hard work and effort it took to actually get here in the first place (as we did the whole migration thing ourselves), I have no hesitation in holding my hands up in the air and saying "its not for me". What is wrong with that? For us, we dont have a huge array of relatives to go back to - we will go back with very little financially. Someone earlier on here wrote that quality of life is having a purpose and a sense of belonging. Too right, these components make up ones self esteem, if you have not got those things, you loose your self worth. Then you start to feel depressed. I can say from experience, ( and I wont elaborate), that I have never met so many depressed individuals since I arrived here. Why are they depressed? Sunshine, beaches, good wines - you ask yourselves - in my opinion, they have lost their sense of self worth. In our situation two years or five years or 40 years is too high a price to pay to wait to get my self worth back. My husband feels exactly the same. We came here twice on holiday before we finally came for good, however this did not prepare us for the day to day living of being in Oz. For those who advise to go back for a holiday to the UK first, I would think twice. You are only putting yourself into a false state of being, a holiday IS a holiday, and a false sense of illusion. I have always been happy on holiday - not having the stresses of everyday living around you, and not having to work. Its an illusion. If you feel like to want to go back and have given it plenty of thought, why have a holiday just to find out what you want?
Quite frankly, I dont care what anyone else in the UK think if we go back so quickly. We have emailed few people to let them know what we are doing, and we have had some lovely replies from those who care.
I think we came to Oz at the wrong time, when the housing market increased in price. This coupled with the high cost of living (food, bills etc) has made us fall in to a trap of all work and no play. We did not come here for this. The quality of life was not what we thought, and I dont want to wait for two to three years in order to get citizenship just to tell myself exactly the same. I guess its taken me a huge expense and rollercoaster of emotions to know where my heart is, and its not in Australia.
Quite frankly, I dont care what anyone else in the UK think if we go back so quickly. We have emailed few people to let them know what we are doing, and we have had some lovely replies from those who care.
I think we came to Oz at the wrong time, when the housing market increased in price. This coupled with the high cost of living (food, bills etc) has made us fall in to a trap of all work and no play. We did not come here for this. The quality of life was not what we thought, and I dont want to wait for two to three years in order to get citizenship just to tell myself exactly the same. I guess its taken me a huge expense and rollercoaster of emotions to know where my heart is, and its not in Australia.
We too are in the same situation as you, have spent a fortune, been on an emotional roller coaster and dragged 2 children to the other side of the world in the process! But I can honestly say, I'm glad we did it, as so many people in the UK want the 'Ozzie dream' but don't get the opportunity, or are too scared to do it, we've at least had the opportunity, decided it's not for us and can go back to the UK, holding our heads up high and settle into the life we want, which is in England. After all life is about experiences not possessions or how much money you have in the bank. I wish you all the best in whatever path you take
#94
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by Ozwells
I totally agree with you Scoobydoo, we were the same took us 3 years from start to end to emigrate, what with applying for the visa, medicals, having another baby in the process, ooooops!, selling our house, etc. We also came over on a 'rekki' trip 2 years ago, basically a 3 week holiday and loved it. The experience of a holiday is TOTALLY different to living it. Although we entered on a skilled Visa we have applied for endless amount of jobs, got 2 interviews and then told we won't be employed as we have no Australian experience!! :scared: How you are suppose to get that when no one will give you a chance is beyond me. Our morale was hitting an all time low and money was running out. We are now doing vacate cleaning and garden work just to make ends meet, and we are just scraping by. In the UK I was an IT professional my husband account management, and now we are cleaners!!! Talk about living the dream eh!! Like you it has cost us a fortune emigrating and been emotionally draining. We are not going back to the UK on a whim, yes we do miss friends and family but I also miss feeling I belong and a self of worth. We felt we should stay as we have put so much energy, money and time into it but at the end of the day our feelings are the same as most people on this link, you know deep down if something is missing, and you can't change that.
We too are in the same situation as you, have spent a fortune, been on an emotional roller coaster and dragged 2 children to the other side of the world in the process! But I can honestly say, I'm glad we did it, as so many people in the UK want the 'Ozzie dream' but don't get the opportunity, or are too scared to do it, we've at least had the opportunity, decided it's not for us and can go back to the UK, holding our heads up high and settle into the life we want, which is in England. After all life is about experiences not possessions or how much money you have in the bank. I wish you all the best in whatever path you take
We too are in the same situation as you, have spent a fortune, been on an emotional roller coaster and dragged 2 children to the other side of the world in the process! But I can honestly say, I'm glad we did it, as so many people in the UK want the 'Ozzie dream' but don't get the opportunity, or are too scared to do it, we've at least had the opportunity, decided it's not for us and can go back to the UK, holding our heads up high and settle into the life we want, which is in England. After all life is about experiences not possessions or how much money you have in the bank. I wish you all the best in whatever path you take
And a third one......spent a pile £££, dragged 2 kids over here, feel the same...
Everyone says to "give it time", but I have been here 14 months now and I can honestly say I feel the same. The first year was awful, in the end I had to go and get medical and professional help and it has helped alot. We are committed to staying here for a while longer due to higher education reasons, plus the fact we spent a small fortune doing this, so we may as well stay and "enjoy it" for a while longer.... It ISN'T for everybody, but it has taken me a while to understand that. I keep thinking what does everyone else "see" in it all that I can't "see"???
We went back to the UK over Christmas, had a wonderful time, slotted back in where we left off, and again everyone said "Wait till you go back to the UK - then you remember all the reasons you left", again I didn't find that true at all, as we left to do something different and have an adventure, not because we didn't like it.
Time does make the homesickness go away a little, and even after over a year, you still feel that "I don't belong here" feeling, where you have no history with the place......
Life should be full of "interesting and varied experiences" which is great for now.....but to live here until the end??? No thanks! Can't stand the thought of just endless rounds of, beach, BBQ, bushwalk, Beach, BBQ etc etc and holidaying the same country for now until kingdom come!!!!
#95
Stuck in time!
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 69
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by kendodd
To the Ozwells and scoobydoo.........
And a third one......spent a pile £££, dragged 2 kids over here, feel the same...
Everyone says to "give it time", but I have been here 14 months now and I can honestly say I feel the same. The first year was awful, in the end I had to go and get medical and professional help and it has helped alot. We are committed to staying here for a while longer due to higher education reasons, plus the fact we spent a small fortune doing this, so we may as well stay and "enjoy it" for a while longer.... It ISN'T for everybody, but it has taken me a while to understand that. I keep thinking what does everyone else "see" in it all that I can't "see"???
We went back to the UK over Christmas, had a wonderful time, slotted back in where we left off, and again everyone said "Wait till you go back to the UK - then you remember all the reasons you left", again I didn't find that true at all, as we left to do something different and have an adventure, not because we didn't like it.
Time does make the homesickness go away a little, and even after over a year, you still feel that "I don't belong here" feeling, where you have no history with the place......
Life should be full of "interesting and varied experiences" which is great for now.....but to live here until the end??? No thanks! Can't stand the thought of just endless rounds of, beach, BBQ, bushwalk, Beach, BBQ etc etc and holidaying the same country for now until kingdom come!!!!
And a third one......spent a pile £££, dragged 2 kids over here, feel the same...
Everyone says to "give it time", but I have been here 14 months now and I can honestly say I feel the same. The first year was awful, in the end I had to go and get medical and professional help and it has helped alot. We are committed to staying here for a while longer due to higher education reasons, plus the fact we spent a small fortune doing this, so we may as well stay and "enjoy it" for a while longer.... It ISN'T for everybody, but it has taken me a while to understand that. I keep thinking what does everyone else "see" in it all that I can't "see"???
We went back to the UK over Christmas, had a wonderful time, slotted back in where we left off, and again everyone said "Wait till you go back to the UK - then you remember all the reasons you left", again I didn't find that true at all, as we left to do something different and have an adventure, not because we didn't like it.
Time does make the homesickness go away a little, and even after over a year, you still feel that "I don't belong here" feeling, where you have no history with the place......
Life should be full of "interesting and varied experiences" which is great for now.....but to live here until the end??? No thanks! Can't stand the thought of just endless rounds of, beach, BBQ, bushwalk, Beach, BBQ etc etc and holidaying the same country for now until kingdom come!!!!
#96
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 43
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Ozwells and Kendod, its funny isnt it how I have only posted on this site a few times, yet its reasurring and, a breath of fresh air, to realise that there are others out there like me. To be honest, when I posted my thoughts, I thought I was going to be criticised by the "we love Australia" bunch!!, however, I had got to the point where I just did not care anymore.If I have ever mentioned such a thought of going back,to anyone around me I often get the "you need longer to settle in", or "give it more time" or "at least get your citizenship", and I had taken this on, mulled it over and thought WHY should I? Yes, and I agree "I just dont get it" - the constant thought of barbies fuelled with alcohol, beaches, sun and sand and thoughts of touring Australia for the rest of my life dont appeal. I have been to Brisbane, The Gold Coast, Melbourne, Perth and Sydney, and Adelaide, and to be honest, there is not much difference between all of them. I miss the cold nights, the smell of the Autumn air, the gold, yellow and amber leaves, the lead up to christmas, going out for a drink in a quaint old pub, the spring bulbs, the smell of winter and frosty cold air, tossing the snow up between my feet, and running inside the house to escape the cold weather, snuggling up round a coal fire, the warmth of the summer and the lazy summer days in temparatures which my kids and I can enjoy, getting wet in the April rain and running inside a coffee shop to dry off - I could go on and on, but wont bother. The cost of living here, for us is no different to living in the UK. The thought of living in a country which is almost 20 years behind us would be ok, if there was enough pull to keep me here. The fact is, having spent the last 22 years in the same career, I have already fought the fight of change, why should I do it all again? Not only can I not be bothered any more, I dont see why I should. Been there, seen it, bought the teeshirt. You know I can have strong arguments with people here in the same profession who think its wonderful here but I totally disagree. I have thought about the possibilities of me and my children's future here and to be honest its not "bright and orange" its dull and boring. Australia is not the land of plenty, in my opinion, its hugely overestimated. I have met people here who are full of guilt having left those they most care for back in the uk, who battle on a daily basis with "Ive left them behind, but its for the best, I know it will get better, its best for the kids" - I have also been a witness of how it can destroy peoples lives. Why put yourself through such pain and misery - for what? If anything, I too am glad of what I have learned here - mainly about myself. You can go to the far ends of the earth to look for happiness, but often its on your own doorstep. Still the fact that I did travel thousands of miles to discover this, and pour down the drain thousands of hard earned cash does not seem to matter any more. And - in my early 40's Ive still got a bit of time to live, so I may as well live it how I want to. Good luck to you both , and I have to applaud your honesty and strength to admit its not for you either.
#97
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Lancashire - Vic, Oz - hopefully Yorkshire or Devon
Posts: 167
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by chance to be
Well, we did it!
guess what?!!!
flights booked today for 12th April!!!! and :scared:
whatever the decision, the indecision somehow seemed worse....
best wishes
c
x
guess what?!!!
flights booked today for 12th April!!!! and :scared:
whatever the decision, the indecision somehow seemed worse....
best wishes
c
x
Me too!!!!
We booked ours over the weekend!! I fly back on 3rd August with our son, but unfortunately my OH will have to wait an extra 2 months til early October.
1) Cos we need the money
2) Cos the dog has to go through quarantine treatment that takes 7 months, which he (the dog!!) will start first week in March, so October is the earliest the dog can travel.
I truly hope all goes well for you on your return. I hope that the UK has an exceptionally nice April to welcome you back. Hope you don't get the typical April showers!
I felt a bit weird after we'd booked - I'm looking forward to going back as I miss feeling like the old me, but there's still that small element of indecision that lurks in the back of your mind!!
All the very best of luck - hope you will continue to post for a little while once your back.
BAZ!
#98
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: uk-perth northern suburbs-uk
Posts: 740
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by Basil Brush
Hi there CTB,
Me too!!!!
We booked ours over the weekend!! I fly back on 3rd August with our son, but unfortunately my OH will have to wait an extra 2 months til early October.
1) Cos we need the money
2) Cos the dog has to go through quarantine treatment that takes 7 months, which he (the dog!!) will start first week in March, so October is the earliest the dog can travel.
I truly hope all goes well for you on your return. I hope that the UK has an exceptionally nice April to welcome you back. Hope you don't get the typical April showers!
I felt a bit weird after we'd booked - I'm looking forward to going back as I miss feeling like the old me, but there's still that small element of indecision that lurks in the back of your mind!!
All the very best of luck - hope you will continue to post for a little while once your back.
BAZ!
Me too!!!!
We booked ours over the weekend!! I fly back on 3rd August with our son, but unfortunately my OH will have to wait an extra 2 months til early October.
1) Cos we need the money
2) Cos the dog has to go through quarantine treatment that takes 7 months, which he (the dog!!) will start first week in March, so October is the earliest the dog can travel.
I truly hope all goes well for you on your return. I hope that the UK has an exceptionally nice April to welcome you back. Hope you don't get the typical April showers!
I felt a bit weird after we'd booked - I'm looking forward to going back as I miss feeling like the old me, but there's still that small element of indecision that lurks in the back of your mind!!
All the very best of luck - hope you will continue to post for a little while once your back.
BAZ!
thank you and good for you too!!!
i feel a bit wierd too. its put a HUGE strain on our marriage not sure where thats heading......wont go into detail here. so the only advice id give people here is to be absolutely certain you and your OH are singing from the same hymnsheet - it will come back to haunt you, or if you are not - be absolutely certain in your mind that life as a single person doesnt change your mind about where you are living now. be true to yourself - if your heart lies in another country, be prepared that there may be fallout from this.
having said that...whatevers been going on personally, all i know is i dont want to be here because i dont laugh any more, i find it soulless - its self preservation - if i hadnt got out now (and its only been 8mnths for me!) i really feel i wouldve gone completely mental!
things do have a habit of turning out alright in the end, you have got to be happy in your environment - what does it matter if it takes you days, weeks or years to decide where you want to be. every situation is valid.
heres to all of us for at least having the balls and optimism to try it in the first place We should have a uk meet.. and tell our stories to the ones who are still in a quandry as that certainly helped me.
best wishes
c x
Last edited by chance to be; Feb 21st 2006 at 12:42 pm.
#99
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by IrishPost
As an Irish Australian who migrated to Australia over 40 years ago, I've been browsing through the Threads on 'How do you reach a decision to return to the UK?' and I find it all very sad.
Why?, because they are the writings of people who have failed.
Why?, because they are the writings of people who have failed.
Never mind that they may have had a great experience and made a life for themsleves there for several years, as soon as they decide to move elsewhere that makes them a failure by your rules does it?
Life isn't a cut and dry fail or succeed scenerio, it's a long line of choices, some may turn out good, some not so good. There's nothing wrong with choosing to move on. Nobody is labeled a failure if they are unhappy in the UK and want to move away, nobody should be labeled a failure for wanting to leave OZ or wherever else either.
#100
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by IrishPost
As an Irish Australian who migrated to Australia over 40 years ago, I've been browsing through the Threads on 'How do you reach a decision to return to the UK?' and I find it all very sad.
Why?, because they are the writings of people who have failed.
Why?, because they are the writings of people who have failed.
But, on the other hand, some say that "how do you know you've succeeded" until you have "failed"
#101
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by scoobydoo
Ozwells and Kendod, its funny isnt it how I have only posted on this site a few times, yet its reasurring and, a breath of fresh air, to realise that there are others out there like me. To be honest, when I posted my thoughts, I thought I was going to be criticised by the "we love Australia" bunch!!, however, I had got to the point where I just did not care anymore.If I have ever mentioned such a thought of going back,to anyone around me I often get the "you need longer to settle in", or "give it more time" or "at least get your citizenship", and I had taken this on, mulled it over and thought WHY should I? Yes, and I agree "I just dont get it" - the constant thought of barbies fuelled with alcohol, beaches, sun and sand and thoughts of touring Australia for the rest of my life dont appeal. I have been to Brisbane, The Gold Coast, Melbourne, Perth and Sydney, and Adelaide, and to be honest, there is not much difference between all of them. I miss the cold nights, the smell of the Autumn air, the gold, yellow and amber leaves, the lead up to christmas, going out for a drink in a quaint old pub, the spring bulbs, the smell of winter and frosty cold air, tossing the snow up between my feet, and running inside the house to escape the cold weather, snuggling up round a coal fire, the warmth of the summer and the lazy summer days in temparatures which my kids and I can enjoy, getting wet in the April rain and running inside a coffee shop to dry off - I could go on and on, but wont bother. The cost of living here, for us is no different to living in the UK. The thought of living in a country which is almost 20 years behind us would be ok, if there was enough pull to keep me here. The fact is, having spent the last 22 years in the same career, I have already fought the fight of change, why should I do it all again? Not only can I not be bothered any more, I dont see why I should. Been there, seen it, bought the teeshirt. You know I can have strong arguments with people here in the same profession who think its wonderful here but I totally disagree. I have thought about the possibilities of me and my children's future here and to be honest its not "bright and orange" its dull and boring. Australia is not the land of plenty, in my opinion, its hugely overestimated. I have met people here who are full of guilt having left those they most care for back in the uk, who battle on a daily basis with "Ive left them behind, but its for the best, I know it will get better, its best for the kids" - I have also been a witness of how it can destroy peoples lives. Why put yourself through such pain and misery - for what? If anything, I too am glad of what I have learned here - mainly about myself. You can go to the far ends of the earth to look for happiness, but often its on your own doorstep. Still the fact that I did travel thousands of miles to discover this, and pour down the drain thousands of hard earned cash does not seem to matter any more. And - in my early 40's Ive still got a bit of time to live, so I may as well live it how I want to. Good luck to you both , and I have to applaud your honesty and strength to admit its not for you either.
I'm glad I came here though, I've learnt lots about what's important, learnt to look for the positives (!!), and had a great adventure in the meantime!
It's taken me a whole year to get "comfortable" with living here - it's ok for now, but not for longterm....
:scared: perhaps it's just the drugs!!!! :scared: :scared:
#102
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 511
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by Ozwells
Hi Kendod, thanks for that, see it's not a time issue (sounds like prison doesn't it)
So, whilst I wouldn't have agreed a year a ago - time can make a difference for some so it is worth sticking it out. It depends how well you know "yourself" - if you know what I mean.........
The agony of last year for me was the homesickness and the emptiness and a desperate longing to go home. That has got a bit better now, but I know myself well enough now to know I'll be going home at some point in the future and to just "enjoy" for now - however hard that is.......
#103
SuzieB
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Sydney-ping-London-pong-Sydney
Posts: 98
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
[QUOTE=scoobydoo]Ozwells, Kendod and Scoobydoo
Just want to second everything that has been said and add my little voice in support of "just not seeing it" in this country. Done 6 months, and booked to go back April 19th. Took a huge step back in career here, (accountant) and generally found it a v beautiful, v soulless and v dull place to live. Isolated, insular and years behind the UK.
And as a girl in her early thirties, i just cannot wait to go shopping in the UK, and not be faced by a barrage of "hi, how are you's". Not been able to buy anything for months now due to nausea induced by this constant intrusion.
OK, this is a minor issue admittedly but you get the picture!
Australia to me feels like a big retirement village and i'm not ready for that yet!
suzieb
Just want to second everything that has been said and add my little voice in support of "just not seeing it" in this country. Done 6 months, and booked to go back April 19th. Took a huge step back in career here, (accountant) and generally found it a v beautiful, v soulless and v dull place to live. Isolated, insular and years behind the UK.
And as a girl in her early thirties, i just cannot wait to go shopping in the UK, and not be faced by a barrage of "hi, how are you's". Not been able to buy anything for months now due to nausea induced by this constant intrusion.
OK, this is a minor issue admittedly but you get the picture!
Australia to me feels like a big retirement village and i'm not ready for that yet!
suzieb
#104
Stuck in time!
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 69
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by kendodd
Well, what I would say about the "time issue" is that there have been 1 or 2 people turn up here homesick, but for them it has passed on and they have changed their minds....... so it CAN happen for some.... but not for all.
So, whilst I wouldn't have agreed a year a ago - time can make a difference for some so it is worth sticking it out. It depends how well you know "yourself" - if you know what I mean.........
The agony of last year for me was the homesickness and the emptiness and a desperate longing to go home. That has got a bit better now, but I know myself well enough now to know I'll be going home at some point in the future and to just "enjoy" for now - however hard that is.......
So, whilst I wouldn't have agreed a year a ago - time can make a difference for some so it is worth sticking it out. It depends how well you know "yourself" - if you know what I mean.........
The agony of last year for me was the homesickness and the emptiness and a desperate longing to go home. That has got a bit better now, but I know myself well enough now to know I'll be going home at some point in the future and to just "enjoy" for now - however hard that is.......
#105
Stuck in time!
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 69
Re: How do you reach a decision to return to the UK??
Originally Posted by scoobydoo
Ozwells and Kendod, its funny isnt it how I have only posted on this site a few times, yet its reasurring and, a breath of fresh air, to realise that there are others out there like me. To be honest, when I posted my thoughts, I thought I was going to be criticised by the "we love Australia" bunch!!, however, I had got to the point where I just did not care anymore.If I have ever mentioned such a thought of going back,to anyone around me I often get the "you need longer to settle in", or "give it more time" or "at least get your citizenship", and I had taken this on, mulled it over and thought WHY should I? Yes, and I agree "I just dont get it" - the constant thought of barbies fuelled with alcohol, beaches, sun and sand and thoughts of touring Australia for the rest of my life dont appeal. I have been to Brisbane, The Gold Coast, Melbourne, Perth and Sydney, and Adelaide, and to be honest, there is not much difference between all of them. I miss the cold nights, the smell of the Autumn air, the gold, yellow and amber leaves, the lead up to christmas, going out for a drink in a quaint old pub, the spring bulbs, the smell of winter and frosty cold air, tossing the snow up between my feet, and running inside the house to escape the cold weather, snuggling up round a coal fire, the warmth of the summer and the lazy summer days in temparatures which my kids and I can enjoy, getting wet in the April rain and running inside a coffee shop to dry off - I could go on and on, but wont bother. The cost of living here, for us is no different to living in the UK. The thought of living in a country which is almost 20 years behind us would be ok, if there was enough pull to keep me here. The fact is, having spent the last 22 years in the same career, I have already fought the fight of change, why should I do it all again? Not only can I not be bothered any more, I dont see why I should. Been there, seen it, bought the teeshirt. You know I can have strong arguments with people here in the same profession who think its wonderful here but I totally disagree. I have thought about the possibilities of me and my children's future here and to be honest its not "bright and orange" its dull and boring. Australia is not the land of plenty, in my opinion, its hugely overestimated. I have met people here who are full of guilt having left those they most care for back in the uk, who battle on a daily basis with "Ive left them behind, but its for the best, I know it will get better, its best for the kids" - I have also been a witness of how it can destroy peoples lives. Why put yourself through such pain and misery - for what? If anything, I too am glad of what I have learned here - mainly about myself. You can go to the far ends of the earth to look for happiness, but often its on your own doorstep. Still the fact that I did travel thousands of miles to discover this, and pour down the drain thousands of hard earned cash does not seem to matter any more. And - in my early 40's Ive still got a bit of time to live, so I may as well live it how I want to. Good luck to you both , and I have to applaud your honesty and strength to admit its not for you either.