Jules Europe

Think you will find that for most people in the UK its not so much the rain that is the issue but the constant grey skies that accompany it, this is made even worse by strong winds that can blow your bowler hat off and turn your umbrella inside out

You mention on a below thread about not liking the cold weather.........Well after Florida the UK is going to seem very cold Plus point though, by being UK based and if you have a desire for hot weather or just sun then both Spain and Portugal are close by and have very cheap return flights to the UK (great for weekend getaways)

cricket1again

It's basically a case of which place has the best hell compared to the worst heaven.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-sweep-in.html

It's been 31 degrees today on the Gold Coast, with monsoon storms expected following high humidity and heat. My hair doesn't know if it's an advert for the latest Afro trend or tomorrows experiment as a conductor for next massive electrical storm.

dunroving

I just rechecked this thread (don't have time to get on here much lately) and there have been some very insightful posts.

Yankee: Yes, believe me, in all the "what if's" I've been playing over in my mind, a major one has been "Where would you rather be in retirement?" I think that for most people, the UK is "easier" in retirement because of all the Government benefits for retirees (not least of which is free health care, but also free public transport, a huge income tax allowance, etc.). I have the option of retiring to the UK at 65, but as you say, I've thought about whether that would even be feasible (cost of living and housing) or easy (reverse culture shock at 65 would be even worse, I'm sure).

Cricket: Your "thinking about how much time you have left" comment certainly hit the mark. I recently turned 50 and wether it's a "50 thing", or the effect of everything I've been through since returning, I feel like I've aged 10 years recently. I've never before thought about things in terms of the "How do you want to spend the rest of your life?" question, but that's about all I think about these days as I just don't think I have many more moves left in me (Imoved from Wales to Scotland already since I got back to the UK). Your comments about figuring out what you need to be happy, rather than where, also ring true. I have been working a lot on how to be happy here, regardless of whether I stay or not, and it's worked to a great extent (I was completely miserable for a long time), but long term, I just can't handle the idea of being in the same position I'm in.

Margaret: I'm sorry to hear you are stuck in the same boat. It's ironic how many of us are living in the "wrong" place, but while some people are miserable in Oz, dying to be back in the UK, others are miserable in the UK< dying to be in Oz. As I think someone said in another thread, many people who moved back and/or forth from/to UK/US/Oz were greatly affected by swings in economies over that time. For some, moving ended up making them broke (due to falling exchange rates and/or house prices) while for others the opposite is true (due to rising exchange rates and/or house prices). And yes, I have a hard time figuring out why I can't make ends meet sometimes, too, but a large part of it is a) paying extra on an already-large mortgage in order to try to pay it off in 15 years, b) only having a single tax allowance and a single salary (albeit not a bad one). I really don't spend money on toys (no fancy TV, stereo, i-Pod) or eating out/entertainment or a fancy car (paid 2k for a used estate), or holidays (though I am taking my first holiday in three years this Christmas). I'm a pretty good bookeeper and when I add up all the bills (utilities, car insurance, car tax, petrol, home insurance, council tax, union dues, food bills, life insurance, telephone/broadband, pet health insurance, boiler maintenance contract, house repairs, car repair, mortgage, etc., it all just seems to add up ... I manage to save about 200-300 a month if I'm lucky.

Marmalade

Hi Dunroving,

I really enjoy reading your take on situations, and the reality of your situation. It might not be what I want to hear at times (re Scotland), but it is what I need to hear to have a realistic view of things seeing I am thinking of moving back to Scotland. I can read your struggle in your postings, nothing is easy is it!

I am going through my US citizenship oath ceremony on 5th December, and will be so relieved that part of my journey will be done soon. But, the actual reality of moving back will hit me in the face then, so I am doing a lot of thinking right now, too

On a lighter note, where are you jetting off to for Christmas, if you don't mind me asking?

dunroving

Thanks for the kind comments. I've certainly learned a lot about myself over the past two years. Occasionally I've had to remind myself that too much navel-gazing/introspection is not good, but I have become a lot more self-aware. I think Churchill said that most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. He had a point, but circumstances also play an important role. I've learned to recognise what "sets me off" and to nip things in the bud when I start losing perspective.

And despite my own experiences, I can definitely see that Scotland/UK is the right place for a lot of people. I do think a lot of the cultural/social changes over the past few years are unfortunate, but the UK is not alone in a lot of these things. If you have friends and family where you're moving to, I'm sure that will make a huge difference.

I'm off to Dubai for 12 days over Christmas. My brother lives/works there. I'm really looking forward to some sunshine and swimming a few laps in the school pool every day - but especially looking forward to getting work out of my head for two weeks.

Marmalade

Yes, it's a hard habit to get out of, too much navel-gazing

Sounds like you will be in Dubai about the same time I MIGHT be in Scotland. Still deciding if I want to go for Christmas. Getting the US passport in time might be the problem, have to figure that one out (now I need to go check my post on the US forum to see the helpful replies I've received on this topic).

Have a great trip to Dubai, sounds lovely

Bevm

Has there not been much snow in recent years? When I was young a relative who lived on the Yorkshire moors was snowed in for a while every winter, and I can remember a number of serious snowfalls in the Midlands later.

But weather is one reason we fancy the south west.

Being in British Columbia, we're used to dull skies and rainy winters. We'll have to see about the summers!

Bev

cricket1again

Dunroving, when my world turned belly up, long story but basically the only reason I moved to australia was because my now ex husband wanted to return to his homeland. He then, having got me here, left me, took all the money then tried to force me through an ugly court battle for most of our assets (he lost).
Anyway, during this time, I had no one and nothing except a small part time job working in a boutique. Because my ex was trying to force me into accepting his poor offer, he was making sure I had hardly anything to live on.
I kept asking myself the same question, how do I find a way to make enough money to get back to England?
I soon saw a way. There was a lack of fashion for plus size ladies. Everything comes out of China and as we know, they base their sizing on the Asian size which is very small.
I decided there and then to produce my own label for plus sizes. Two years down the track, (a lot of retraining and other obstacles) I have now reached this point. I now have two web sites, am a fashion designer, love the job and am mostly very happy.


My point is though, that you need to reach the bottom of the pile then you have a clear choice. You can either feel defeated and give in or you can take action to start heading forwards. This is where you make your decision to either stay where you are or start heading upwards.
Then you need to make a plan. In fact, later on, I will be writing a book about what happened to me and it probably will be titled The Plan.
Once you've made a plan, stick to it. Go and get help putting your plan together, nip and tweak it every now and again, add to it or change it but you do need a plan.
Once you've got your life plan, this then gives you a direction and then life takes over either by coming up with serendipitous opportunities or by generally opening doors to help you along.

It sounds like for now though, you're at a crossroads and still at the stage of making a decision. Maybe staying with your brother will be good for helping you start planning your life.
I must admit it's easier to feel motivated in the sun, it's a lot harder to charge ahead in the bitter cold of an English winter. It just adds to the misery if you're feeling down.

Anyway, I hope this logic helps you in some way. You need a plan.

TruBrit

well done you!

you are spot on...i have always had a plan, even from when i was young and yes, deviated slightly but always back on plan .....if not i'd have gone under yrs ago.

good luck with the book btw

cricket1again

Thankyou TruBrit. I forgot to mention......a plan is a process not an instant remedy so it might take a while to come to fruition but if you stick with it, it will. It's taken me 2 years this month to succeed. Now I'm ready to go back to England, there's a recession! However, I'm not terribly worried about this. Neither am I worried about the various social problems, political agendas, weather or doom and bloomers brigade (my name for a bunch of old women whining). I never got caught up in it when I was there before. I stuck to my plan

TruBrit

yep my plan has been running for many years... and always with a goal.

i love that 'the bloomers brigade'...they love to moan about the weather in particular you are so right and there's not a plan in the world that will solve that

cricket1again

That's right, and so will all the other issues and problems. we can't change any of it in the short term so we might as well change our own small world and let everything else go over us and past us.

Reading fan

Hi, I think I replied to this thread (maybe) at the beginning. We lived in Oz for 5 years and then moved back to the Uk for 3 years and thought I regretted it. We have now been in Brisbane for 1 week and can quite honestly say I hate it. Difficult to surf the net at the moment so I have managed to grab a quiet 5 mins. I imagined that after 5 years before I knew what I was letting myself for.We do seem to have had a shitty week where what can go wrong has gone wrong but I feel it is more than that.
We are going to the beach today to try and remind ourselves (me) of the good points. If someone had handed me the plane ticket yesterday though I would have gone.

USAGypsies

Wow - those are strong feeling you have there. You must tell us how you get on. Is there anything in Britain you are already missing or is it that, so far, you just don't like Brisbane?

USAGypsies

Good for you girl. A very inspiring story. Will you continue with your business in the UK?