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Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Old Nov 14th 2008, 5:41 pm
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Wow, what a whirlwind - I wonder what your "bump" was thinking about all of the to-ing and fro-ing!

It sounds like it was a very stressful time (and still things to work out) - but I'm glad you are back where you feel you belong.

As for the house, and its falling value, I think a lot of people in the UK are changing their viewpoint on houses, i.e., they are something you live in, not an "investment" - unless you need to move, can't afford the payments, or need to remortgage, being in negative equity actually isn't a problem. (believe me, I know it isn't easy to accept this philosophy if you DO want to move house - if I ever get the chance to return to the US, I'm just not sure what I can do with the house I bought here in March, 2007 (i.e., at the top of the bubble, grrrr ...)

Good luck with all the re-settling!
Originally Posted by USAGypsies
Well, it was interesting that's for sure and we were literally thinking (and acting) on our feet as this was not part of the plan at all!

First we had to spend 3 hours in the Abbey getting our money sent back to our US bank account. We very nearly arrived back with just a few hundred $$ in our wallets and nothing else! That was a nightmare in itself and a looooong story.
We flew back in on our return tickets, hired a car and headed back to the same area we had left because our anchor was our sons school.
We stayed at the local Holiday Inn and contacted the companies we leased our cars from and asked if we could pick them back up. One was still parked in the same place we left it.... it was bizarre. We collected ur cats from the pet shippers down in Ft Lauderdale. My persian had been completely shaved! We had called the shippers from the UK and told them to 'STOP' and fortunately our stuff was returned (after paying a $750 fee!!
I couldn't bring myself to return to our house we owned - it was the only emotional part I couldn't handle and partly because I was extra sensitive being pregnant at the time.... yes all this going on in between bouts of violent morning sickness, what a circus.
We left the house on the market and we went to a rental house around the corner to it. It still hasn't sold (no suprise in this market) so we JUST moved back into it 3 weeks ago. The house is not worth what we paid so unsure what to do just now but that's another story. I suppose we'll wait and see how the next few months pan out with the new President etc....
Anyway, we had left a lot of furniture, electronics etc... that we hadn't managed to sell prior to leaving so huz and son got a uhaul and we played house in our rental for a bit so we could at least feel settled whilst the pregnancy continued. I have a history of pre-term so we focused on the 'bump' as priority number 1. Our bump was born a little early, in July and all is well, thank goodness. She's a doll. Anyway.... as far as jobs, we picked up where we left off with the business and huz has pretty much taken that over as I am knee high in diapers plus a toddler and a teenager to keep me busy. We're deciding what to do next. Since we've got through the first tricky and tiring 3 months of having a newborn, we've started to think about our long term plans again and believe we will try again to go home to the UK.
If it wasn't for a good and slightly twisted sense of humour I think we would have cracked by now
The British 'stiff upper lip' and a bit of cockney spirit (my parents were east Londoners) certainly helps too.
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Old Nov 14th 2008, 7:08 pm
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by dunroving
Wow, what a whirlwind - I wonder what your "bump" was thinking about all of the to-ing and fro-ing!

It sounds like it was a very stressful time (and still things to work out) - but I'm glad you are back where you feel you belong.

As for the house, and its falling value, I think a lot of people in the UK are changing their viewpoint on houses, i.e., they are something you live in, not an "investment" - unless you need to move, can't afford the payments, or need to remortgage, being in negative equity actually isn't a problem. (believe me, I know it isn't easy to accept this philosophy if you DO want to move house - if I ever get the chance to return to the US, I'm just not sure what I can do with the house I bought here in March, 2007 (i.e., at the top of the bubble, grrrr ...)

Good luck with all the re-settling!
Thanks for the luck Dunroving. What are your plans? I know when we spoke last year you were in 2 minds.

Our problem is that we can't decide where we want to spend the next few years. We don't truly 'belong' here.
Yes we can live here quite comfortably like Hobbes79 said, you really can have more space for less money (by the way Hobbes79 I love Boston MA - lived there as a child for a few years). We're certainly not miserable here and I have discovered that actually I've been perfectly fine and happy bringng up my children without extended family near to help (a previous concern I had).
For me it's not so much swings and roundabouts as gruffbrown said, it's just 'the swing' in your head.

USA? UK? USA? UK?
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Old Nov 15th 2008, 2:33 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by cricket1
Would love to hear your stories if you moved back to the UK.
We emigrated to the States in 2003, went back to the uk late 04 homesick, regretted it after a month and now live in SK Canada
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Old Nov 15th 2008, 5:25 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

I left the UK 5 years ago, not by choice but to support my Australian husband, now ex. I have not yet been back but we're just discussing a trip home in January 2009 just to see how it feels.
Reading the posts, I'm surprised how many people go backwards and forwards but don't really feel at home anywhere. It must be like a permanent state of limbo.

I could not do what some of you are doing by going back without much security. I take my hat off to you. I've stayed an extra 2 years in Oz to create a safety net for when i do go back. It's just how I think.
I wanted to buy a small house outright, have an income and not have to worry about money intially. I've stuck it out here and I have reach my goal moneywise but it took a lot of planning.

Just to make sure we don't ping pong back, we're planning to rent our house out here, then go to the UK and rent over there for 6 months to see if my husband likes it. He's not been back home in 30 years so it's a big test for him really. I want him to be happy.

A lot of people I speak to say this is the best way to check if it's the right move, leave the door open to come back if you need to just for a while.
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Old Nov 15th 2008, 9:18 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by cricket1
I left the UK 5 years ago, not by choice but to support my Australian husband, now ex. I have not yet been back but we're just discussing a trip home in January 2009 just to see how it feels.
Reading the posts, I'm surprised how many people go backwards and forwards but don't really feel at home anywhere. It must be like a permanent state of limbo.

I could not do what some of you are doing by going back without much security. I take my hat off to you. I've stayed an extra 2 years in Oz to create a safety net for when i do go back. It's just how I think.
I wanted to buy a small house outright, have an income and not have to worry about money intially. I've stuck it out here and I have reach my goal moneywise but it took a lot of planning.

Just to make sure we don't ping pong back, we're planning to rent our house out here, then go to the UK and rent over there for 6 months to see if my husband likes it. He's not been back home in 30 years so it's a big test for him really. I want him to be happy.

A lot of people I speak to say this is the best way to check if it's the right move, leave the door open to come back if you need to just for a while.
AS someone who returned after 23 years away, I'd say if your husband hasn't been back for 30 years, absolutely, positively, definitely keep the door open - it might well turn out to be a revolving door!!
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Old Nov 15th 2008, 9:44 am
  #51  
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by cricket1
What made you move back if you don't mind me asking?
I think we all suffer the same syndrome. We leave our roots behind when we move so we end up feeling disconnected and can't settle anywhere. It's not a good feeling.

I have a different reason for wanting to head back to the UK and it's not because I dislike Australia. It's more for business reasons. I have a fashion design business, our own label plus we make everything.
I think it's easier to run a business in the UK. There are more skilled workers and the work ethic is better. I have found it so hard to get anyone to work here. Living on a sun drenched beach resort area like the Gold Coast means people prefer to work as little as possible and have more fun instead. That's all fine but thank God I don't have a business loan or I'd be bankrupt.

I'm not saying the attitude is wrong but after 5 years of being here, I can't make my business grow if I can't rely on good staff. Plus I'm not dead yet. I don't want to burn my bum sitting on a beach or play golf all day. I am very career driven so I get my fix from working hard doing something I love.
Basically, this is my reason for returning to the UK.

I don't like the intense heat or the parched looking scenery but that's about the total of my dislike for here.
Sorry, just spotted your question (I don't come on here much, so it's hard to keep up!).

Unlike many other people, I (a) did not have ailing parents back in the UK, (b) did not have children or a spouse who missed the UK, (c) did not have a huge network of friends and family that I missed, (d) did not desperately miss the UK, and (e) was not desperately unhappy in the States (in fact, I was enjoying my career very much and was relatively happy living in the part of the States (eastern NC)).

So, to be honest, I didn't have a single compelling reason to return, other than a close relationship with one family member and what I can only describe as a nagging yearning to be in a place where people know who Terry Wogan is, where I can talk about "British" stuff like Spotted Dick and Yorkshire pud, where the media actually asks politicians difficult questions - and doesn't let them off the hook when they don't give an answer - and where (I thought) it would feel like pulling on an old pair of slippers. In retrospect, this all sounds really, really dumb.

None of this stuff really affects my quality of life here - in fact, I rarely listen to Terry Wogan, or eat Spotted Dick or Yorkshire pud, and the constant hectoring that many radio and TV commentators use to "interview" people actually does my head in (it's so RUDE to charge in with another question before someone is even halfway through answering the last one!). What does affect my quality of life is the high cost of living (especially my mortgage), daily commute in traffic that means I lose anything from an hour to two hours every day stuck in the car, the lack of opportunities to ride my bike around here (weather, darkness, dreadful roads, and shortage of what I call "social" riders), weekly dog-sitting problems (Suzy used to just live out in my US back yard during the day), complete lack of job satisfaction, and difficulty achieving the same kind of social life I used to have in the US.

I sometimes think BE is a difficult place to be when you have returned to the UK and don't like it. You can't post on MBTTUK (because, quite frankly, negative warnings to potential returners are not especially welcome - witness the barracking JAJ has got in the past for cautiously advising returnees to consider getting US/Oz citizenship before returning) and on the US forum, most topics are to do with the US ...

Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent there. Most days I do just fine, manage to tiddle along, but whenever I start comparing my life now to 2 years ago in the States, I get a bit morose.
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Old Nov 15th 2008, 10:02 am
  #52  
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by dunroving
Sorry, just spotted your question (I don't come on here much, so it's hard to keep up!).

Unlike many other people, I (a) did not have ailing parents back in the UK, (b) did not have children or a spouse who missed the UK, (c) did not have a huge network of friends and family that I missed, (d) did not desperately miss the UK, and (e) was not desperately unhappy in the States (in fact, I was enjoying my career very much and was relatively happy living in the part of the States (eastern NC)).

So, to be honest, I didn't have a single compelling reason to return, other than a close relationship with one family member and what I can only describe as a nagging yearning to be in a place where people know who Terry Wogan is, where I can talk about "British" stuff like Spotted Dick and Yorkshire pud, where the media actually asks politicians difficult questions - and doesn't let them off the hook when they don't give an answer - and where (I thought) it would feel like pulling on an old pair of slippers. In retrospect, this all sounds really, really dumb.

None of this stuff really affects my quality of life here - in fact, I rarely listen to Terry Wogan, or eat Spotted Dick or Yorkshire pud, and the constant hectoring that many radio and TV commentators use to "interview" people actually does my head in (it's so RUDE to charge in with another question before someone is even halfway through answering the last one!). What does affect my quality of life is the high cost of living (especially my mortgage), daily commute in traffic that means I lose anything from an hour to two hours every day stuck in the car, the lack of opportunities to ride my bike around here (weather, darkness, dreadful roads, and shortage of what I call "social" riders), weekly dog-sitting problems (Suzy used to just live out in my US back yard during the day), complete lack of job satisfaction, and difficulty achieving the same kind of social life I used to have in the US.

I sometimes think BE is a difficult place to be when you have returned to the UK and don't like it. You can't post on MBTTUK (because, quite frankly, negative warnings to potential returners are not especially welcome - witness the barracking JAJ has got in the past for cautiously advising returnees to consider getting US/Oz citizenship before returning) and on the US forum, most topics are to do with the US ...

Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent there. Most days I do just fine, manage to tiddle along, but whenever I start comparing my life now to 2 years ago in the States, I get a bit morose.

I can totally relate to what you are saying Dunroving, if I compare us in Australia to 2 years ago I feel the same, morose, we were much better off back in Perth for lots of financial reasons just that yearning to have the familarity back around you just as you said. It kept churning up and up until we just had to do something about it. Now we are back our 15 year old son who is half way through GCSE has informed us he wants to return to Perth as its all he has known since age 3 (besides all the toing and froing we have done!).

So after much discussion, and a trip back to Perth for me alone to see how I could handle things after everything I have been through, I nearly didn't get back on the plane to the UK it was great to be back with familiar people and friends around again. So we are heading back there at the end of DS GCSE exams next year, seems such a waste that he has worked so very hard in coursework to leave early without any rewards plus it will give him some experience of exams and us time to save too.

Quite honestly without coming back here I wouldn't have had the treatment I have had, plus feel as good as I do now. I'm not 100% but my head is straight and no garbled negatives going on in my head either so it has had to be worth coming back if only for me to feel better.

Now all we want to do is get back to our lives again but it will take some hard work, yet again.

Regards
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Old Nov 15th 2008, 2:53 pm
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

i very much regret not staying long enough to get Citizenship. Had I, I think closure wouldve been a lot easier.
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Old Nov 19th 2008, 3:16 pm
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by schumachergal
We emigrated to the States in 2003, went back to the uk late 04 homesick, regretted it after a month and now live in SK Canada

Why did you choose Canada over the US if you regretted it?
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Old Nov 19th 2008, 4:02 pm
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by mr_v
Why did you choose Canada over the US if you regretted it?
I'm guessing, but I assume they didn't have a greencard or US citizenship, so no easy path to return to the US. Canada has points based immigration and isn't entirely different to the US.
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Old Nov 20th 2008, 7:21 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by dunroving
Yes, I moved back in summer 2006 after 23 years on the other side of the Atlantic. Like others, I have been sideswiped by the cost of housing and although I managed to buy an ex-council property am now lumbered with a 25-year mortgage (and wondering if I'll be able to sell if I manage to up sticks and go back to the States, which I'm trying to do). I am also very disillusioned with higher education in the UK, which seems to have nose-dived over the past 10 years (not surprisingly, with increasing access). So I have gone from being in a job that I loved, with a decent standard of living and good quality of life to having a job that I feel I'm just doing to bring in a regular wage, struggling to make ends meet (and I'm hardly on a low salary) and feeling very much, as someone said on another thread, like a fish out of water.

I rarely come on BE these days other than to occasionally catch up on how people are doing, because reading many of the threads on here where people are happy as clams in the UK just reminds me what a dumb move I made.
Hi

I remember you posting often and just wanted to ask if your adjustment to the UK would be completely different if your salary was higher?In other words do you miss the States mostly because of the difference in financial comfort? Do you feel more isolated in the UK less easy to make friends there?If that is the case is it not possible for you to change jobs? Might help solve your financial and social concerns.Also do you have family there?

Thanks
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Old Nov 20th 2008, 8:31 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by YankeemovingAbroad
Hi

I remember you posting often and just wanted to ask if your adjustment to the UK would be completely different if your salary was higher?In other words do you miss the States mostly because of the difference in financial comfort? Do you feel more isolated in the UK less easy to make friends there?If that is the case is it not possible for you to change jobs? Might help solve your financial and social concerns.Also do you have family there?

Thanks
In short "everything is wrong" (almost), so it's not just the money side of things. In fact, my salary isn't bad at all, and I'd find it difficult to match a uni lecturer's salary by changing jobs or career (besides, I only completed my PhD 12 years ago and in my mind, this was the career for the rest of my life).

It's not just the month-to-month financial challenges (though even on an academic's salary, it's surprising how little is left at the end of the month) but the financial millstone that is a 25-year mortgage hanging around my neck (I'd easily be mortgage-free by now if I'd stayed in the US), with only 14 years to retirement.

So the list goes something like this, in order of "dawning realisation" after landing here in July 2006: Wow, I didn't realise houses would be so expensive (Wales, compared to NC, USA), hmmm, it's not much fun being stuck somewhere where I don't know anyone and it's hard to get to know anyone, oh crap, this weather is so bad I hardly ever get out on the bike any more, getting the dog taken care of during the day is a logistical nightmare, boy I miss being able to walk to work, oh shit houses in Scotland are even more expensive - and rising, so I'd better get on the ladder quick, this weather absolutely sucks, what the bejesus is happening to house prices now - I'll be in negative equity before I know it.


... there is so much more than that list, but the one I have kept separate is the dawning realisation of how different teaching university students is in my current job (and, from what I can tell in a lot of UK uni's) compared to the places I taught in the States. I used to revel in the relationships I had with students in the US, whereas here students often miss class, sit at the back texting, don't do any of the assigned reading, then complain that they don't understand the material! Again, it's a lot more compicated that that, but my career has been about the most important thing in my life and the thought of continuing like this until I retire kills me. Even the Departmental culture is like night and day, compared to my US experience. here, it's all about scheduling meetings, interminable reports and curriculum evaluations, a hailstorm of emails requesting information (just let me get on with my job, for God's sake!). It's much more like a "job", almost like working in an office job, than "being an academic"

No, I don't have family here. After 2 years back, I still struggle to make friends. In the US, much of my social circle was generated from the cycling fraternity but even that doesn't work here.

Last edited by dunroving; Nov 20th 2008 at 8:36 am.
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Old Nov 20th 2008, 8:49 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by cricket1

I have a different reason for wanting to head back to the UK and it's not because I dislike Australia. It's more for business reasons. I have a fashion design business, our own label plus we make everything.
I think it's easier to run a business in the UK. There are more skilled workers and the work ethic is better. I have found it so hard to get anyone to work here. Living on a sun drenched beach resort area like the Gold Coast means people prefer to work as little as possible and have more fun instead. That's all fine but thank God I don't have a business loan or I'd be bankrupt.

I'm not saying the attitude is wrong but after 5 years of being here, I can't make my business grow if I can't rely on good staff. Plus I'm not dead yet. I don't want to burn my bum sitting on a beach or play golf all day. I am very career driven so I get my fix from working hard doing something I love.
Basically, this is my reason for returning to the UK.

I don't like the intense heat or the parched looking scenery but that's about the total of my dislike for here.

I would have thought a business like that would be better suited to Sydney? Perhaps if things don't work out back in the UK that would be a better move than returning to the Gold Coast
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Old Nov 20th 2008, 8:58 am
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

Originally Posted by dunroving
Sorry, just spotted your question (I don't come on here much, so it's hard to keep up!).

Unlike many other people, I (a) did not have ailing parents back in the UK, (b) did not have children or a spouse who missed the UK, (c) did not have a huge network of friends and family that I missed, (d) did not desperately miss the UK, and (e) was not desperately unhappy in the States (in fact, I was enjoying my career very much and was relatively happy living in the part of the States (eastern NC)).

So, to be honest, I didn't have a single compelling reason to return, other than a close relationship with one family member and what I can only describe as a nagging yearning to be in a place where people know who Terry Wogan is, where I can talk about "British" stuff like Spotted Dick and Yorkshire pud, where the media actually asks politicians difficult questions - and doesn't let them off the hook when they don't give an answer - and where (I thought) it would feel like pulling on an old pair of slippers. In retrospect, this all sounds really, really dumb.

None of this stuff really affects my quality of life here - in fact, I rarely listen to Terry Wogan, or eat Spotted Dick or Yorkshire pud, and the constant hectoring that many radio and TV commentators use to "interview" people actually does my head in (it's so RUDE to charge in with another question before someone is even halfway through answering the last one!). What does affect my quality of life is the high cost of living (especially my mortgage), daily commute in traffic that means I lose anything from an hour to two hours every day stuck in the car, the lack of opportunities to ride my bike around here (weather, darkness, dreadful roads, and shortage of what I call "social" riders), weekly dog-sitting problems (Suzy used to just live out in my US back yard during the day), complete lack of job satisfaction, and difficulty achieving the same kind of social life I used to have in the US.

I sometimes think BE is a difficult place to be when you have returned to the UK and don't like it. You can't post on MBTTUK (because, quite frankly, negative warnings to potential returners are not especially welcome - witness the barracking JAJ has got in the past for cautiously advising returnees to consider getting US/Oz citizenship before returning) and on the US forum, most topics are to do with the US ...

Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent there. Most days I do just fine, manage to tiddle along, but whenever I start comparing my life now to 2 years ago in the States, I get a bit morose.
I'm sorry if this has been asked but why can't you just find a different area in the UK where you could have the type of social and work success that you desire?You are obviously very intelligent and if you can find contentment in NC(I grew up there) of all places happiness has to be possible in the UK.

Might take a year or two so property values can improve but as a observer your goals seem reachable in the UK.Sound like its a matter of finding a region of the country where property prices are a bit cheaper so less money is going out to afford a mortgage, and being in a place where people are slightly more approachable.North Carolina people are friendly but is that much different to people in the north of England?
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Old Nov 20th 2008, 9:08 am
  #60  
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Default Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?

After 2 years back, I still struggle to make friends. In the US, much of my social circle was generated from the cycling fraternity but even that doesn't work here.
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You've said about this before, and I honestly don't get it. The cycling culture and scene and driving courtesy is far far superior to anything I've experienced in Oz and the US. I was in the UK in Sept/Oct and couldn't move for offers of racing and training. I'm heading over again on Dec19th and taking my Opera Ti with me this time.

Are you sure it's not your attitude/situation stopping you from riding? I'm not saying you're fibbing or anything, but are you sure you are not 'shutting yourself away'? One of the huge pluses for me in MBTTUK next year is to get back to real cycling culture and courteous drivers. Not a patch on Europe of course, but far far better than anything I've experienced in the 'newer' countries.

Turn the pedals over, great for what ails ya
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