quiltman

Didion, I'm so glad I'm not alone and thank you for being so honest about your addiction problems. This is a lesser known addiction and very little, (none in fact) funding has been put into researching it in the UK. Here in the Philippines, cake addiction is a MASSIVE problem. There are cake and bread shops virtually every 20 meters or so , wafting their enticing smells over the pavements. It is horrifying to see apparently normal folks strolling along, stop, lifting their heads and sniffing deeply. then turning around, disappearing into one of these dens of iniquity and emerging a few minutes later with a seraphic smile and crumbs falling from their lips. No help at all here for addicts as the government turns a blind eye and approves new cake shops by the hour. My wife cannot pass a Julies pantry, Kates Bake Shop or Leonnies Cakes without me having to drag her fingers off the door frame. I'm beginning to think the only answer is to have her put down as all the family are affected by her addiction. Must go, she's trying to get the padlock off the food cupboard to bake more cake.

quiltman

Oh, I daren't tell her about the alcohol antidote otherwise who knows? She does like rum babas though so I suppose she is already on that rocky path.

scrubbedexpat142

Showing this Christmas, "The Great Escake".

Nutek

Ahem.

Despite this blatant slur on my good character, I am, nonetheless, willing to volunteer to undertake any cake testing that may be required, releasing the rest of you from the worry of that heavy burden.

Diddion

I will consider this kind offer carefully. However, in view of the comments made above, please provide two (2) references - you may transcribe what is written about them and post them within this thread. I hope you understand my caution in this matter.

Thank you.

Diddion

Sir: you have a crummy sense of humour.

Diddion

Quiltman: thank you for your understanding, but what a sad and depressing state of affairs you have. I would have thought such a situation would already have brought down your government; do you not have a National Democratic Cake Party, in favour of consistent, constant, moderate consumption? They would be the people to approach.

And do consider the alcohol remedy - if not so already, your wife must must be in line for cakebetes (has she had her blood crumb count taken recently?) but I would certainly endorse alcohol treatment, both for her and indeed for yourself. It would ease the decision, should you take the drastic, but seemingly inevitable, step of having her put down,

mikelincs

You have to understand that cake is extremely dangerous and addictive, so much so that a TV programme was made about it..

Diddion

Thank you Mike. I have now watched and listened to this major TV programme, but I confess that it was really too full of state of the art scientific references for me to comprehend fully. But in essence it seems to me only to apply to bright yellow cakes - hence the fruit cakes which are under discussion here should not have the same effect. Have I understood this properly, or am I missing some nuances?

By the way, I think it nonsensical of TV producers to generate programs such as this, which are so technical and refined in their nature that the layman will have very little chance of following it, never mind knowing (or even ever having met!) the long words and convoluted sentences used by the erudite presenters.

Nutek

References... That's a little tricky really. Mainly due to a bit of a debacle over a rigged Poll, some missing Stolen (what other explanation could there be) and some dubious rumours, mainly put about by people that know me.

Diddion

No, we have all committed the occasional major crime from time to time, so this kind of minor misdemeanour really is of no concern to me, and I would certainly disregard the flawed views of those who claim to know you. The references need only to address the really important issues, such as your cake judging credentials, how much you spend on food in supermarkets, the robustness of your alcohol consumption, and whether you have holes in your socks; that sort of thing. But I am afraid I will be unable to take this no further without such assurances, and I fear that your international reputation might be severely undermined if you fail to come up with those requested references.

quiltman

Nuteks reputation here on BE is well vouched for. Although he loves cake he seems to have a natural immunity from cakeaholism. someone needs to analyse his DNA to discover the relevant gene so that , with gene therapy, others can be prevented from having to live with a cake addict. Damn! She's at the cake safe again. Must go restrain her. Nurse! where's the strait jacket?

Nutek

It's good to know that my contributions in the field of nutrition and healthy living here at BE are appreciated.

The relevant gene is one with an elasticated waistband.

Nutek

I thought Yellow Cake was safe until after enrichment. Which is why you rarely find yeast and a proving drawer in a nuclear facility.

Loafing Along

Just to add to the debate on choice - today's Daily mail Online :

Can a shop bought Mary Berry cake match one made at home? | Daily Mail Online