Diddion

We'll be visiting some Portuguese friends during a short visit this September, and would like to bring a modest gift -ideally (though not a mandatory requirement) something with a British or English flavour. Any thoughts as to what might be appreciated would be appreciated in turn. Thanks.

Jet57

We found a fruitcake infused with Yorkshire gin from https://www.bettys.co.uk/gifts-hampers

that we gave to our Portuguese neighbours for a New Years 'thank you' gift. It is packed in a tin so travels ok and light enough to go in hand luggage. Seemed to be well received!

J

Diddion

Thank you - what an excellent idea. We'll be driving down, but will only have very limited room in our 2-seater. Am I permitted to buy two, and eat one myself on the way?

Jet57

Most certainly!

scot47

Why only two ? Have you no appetite ?

Diddion

This is a deeply philosophical and, indeed, disturbing question. Do remember that I (perhaps foolishly) only asked and received permission for two, so I was not aware that a higher number would be permissible. So I would appreciate formal guidance in this matter. Specifically, are there any guidelines or EU directives on Cake limits? What is the annual permitted maximum? What penalties would be applied by the Portuguese National Cake Police for breaching those limits? I have even held back from purchasing a trial cake to check flavour, consistency and structure!

Please help me! I just don't know what to do, and there is a seven month waiting list to see my local Cakecounsellor, and even the Piecounsellor (who does have a small amount of experience of Cakecounselling) couldn't see me until at least October. I cannot sleep for the worry of it all.

nogard

Very good.

scrubbedexpat142

Methinks someone is trying to have their cake and eat it!

Diddion

Now don't be flippant - this is a deadly serious matter. However, I would be happy to eat my cake and have it.

Loafing Along

As responsible people surely they MUST try the cake before considering giving it as a gift so a minimum purchase of three may be necessary, one to try, one give and one to eat themselves

Diddion

You make a sublime point, Loafing along, possibly because you also are made of flour. However, there is an important element of quality standards and consistency which maybe even you cannot answer!

Once we have purchased those three cakes, we will of course explore and sample a randomly selected one of them, as you so cogently suggest. But this leaves one major question unanswered: how do we know whether the particular sample which we have tested is representative of all? It could be an outlier: a particularly good, or indeed poor, example of the product. So we will need, surely, to sample more than one.

And here's the rub: how many must we sample to achieve a statistically significant result? As you know, I have not slept for many nights now, worrying about this desperate problem. How can I get a good night's rest, now that the spectre of cake standard deviations and product uniformity has been raised? How can I resolve this? How many cakes? Please help me through this difficult time.

Loafing Along

Is there nothing in "Which" or maybe some hints from Delia Smith prior to serious purchase commitment but then credit is cheap at the moment so it will not be an expensive mistake and you may even get a Boots "Three for Two" if you haggle

quiltman

Didion, please think very carefully before commencing your tasting odessy. Cake is addictive and one simple taste is all it takes to become hooked for life. I know there is Cake Addicts Anonymous but that only tries to help after the event. Don't start tasting is the best advice. If others want to go down the path to cake oblivion then let them , DO NOT start on it yourself. The only possible answer is to take the cakes, let others try them and if they seem OK after a few days then , yes, you can have a slice with reasonable certainty of staying sane. I know as I have a cake addicted wife and believe me it is no fun living with her. She lies, hides cake all over the house and sneaks off at the slightest opportunity to grab a slice. In fact she is so addicted that if there is no cake in the house she actually MAKES ONE! The tragedy is that it's my fault - Some years ago I bought her a delicious looking cream puff from our local baker and after one bite she was hooked. Her addiction has caused us years of heartache, we lost our house, friends and family as they did not want to be associated with a cake addict.

Diddion

Quiltman, thank you so much for sharing your loss, and let me express my deep sympathy for the pain you have suffered over the years. But your warning is too late for me because I, too, have already touched upon Cake Addiction (but was ejected from my local CAA group for disorderly conduct and drunkenness) but was drawn back from the abyss, as it were, by intensive alcohol treatment prescribed for my cakebeticism. Perhaps, though I can now offer you some hope out of your misery.

Please forgive me if I go into some detail, though it might help others in a similar situation; but I am afraid my condition only acts to magnify some of the other issues discussed so far in this thread. I had not intended to muddy the waters, as it were, by bringing it up here - but I now think I need to come clean.

About four years ago - during Cake Addiction treatment - I was identified as being full-blown type 2 cakebetic with my serum cake levels standing at 25 millicrumbs per litre. This was, as you can imagine, a major blow at the time, but I would like to report on the remarkable impact of Alcohol Therapy on the twin problems of Cake Addiction and Cakebeticism. This is part of the abstract the American Cakebetic Research Foundation research report, presented at the Fourth International Food and Health Conference in California, (Veeraswamy et al, 2014, Proc IFHCC 2014, p 1731, Cake addiction and alcohol)

The increase in Cake Addiction has been reported elsewhere (see ibid 2016 for a metastudy report). This report addresses the interaction between cakeoholism and cakebeticism, and discusses the role of alcohol as a moderating factor.

Our preliminary findings on what can be termed an epidemic of cakebeticism in the US raise the alarming spectre of exponentially increasing complications, especially in the young, middle aged, and elderly. We show that the normal, safe levels are 12 to 15 millicrumbs per litre of blood. At serum cake levels below 9 millicrumbs /litre there is the danger of hypocakonia - with its well known dangers, and above 18 millicrumbs per litre the patient is increasingly likely to experience episodes of hypercakonia with serious long-term consequences on both physical and mental health. Diet alone often fails, and will frequently lead to cake addiction. Our preliminary research shows that moderate to excessive alcohol intake can not only bring down serum cake figures to normal levels, but also inhibit or even cure the tendency for cakeoholism.
(the bold is mine)

Apart from the strange fact that the abstract refers to a report of two years in its future, many interesting and valid issues are raised, here. The main one, as I (from a layman's perspective) understand, is that one needs to balance cake intake with alcohol consumption - and as long as this balance is properly maintained, both cake addiction (or cakeoholism, as the Americans term it) and cakebeticism are controlled. If I can reveal my own medical position, I am regarded as being a Cake Addict in remission - helped, I am sure, by being so inebriated much of the time I have not been able to make my way to the kitchen and our tailor-made Cake Storage Unit, and my serum cake levels are down to 17 millicrumbs per litre of blood - a bit high, in my view, but close to the normal range (I am formally classed as a precakeabetic right now). So I plan on a protective series of increasing alcohol infusions, prior to commencing the cake trial proper. Later research findings (Google this) show clearly that there is a trigger level of required alcohol intake, which increases with increased serum cake levels, so my plan is to ensure an excess of alcohol, in order to provide a measure of security.

And at last the food industry is waking up to this! The recommended cake itself, referred to in the second post on this thread, is indeed already gin-infused! This is the kind of responsible behaviour I would like to see more of, and the provider is to be congratulated on their health-conscious unspoken message.

I wonder if any other forum members are in a similar position? Perhaps we could start a Portuguese cakeholicsabetics support group? It is nothing to be ashamed of.

mikelincs

Nutek, who posts in the US and General sections is the acknowledged expert on all things cake related, however do NOT fall into the trap of allowing him to taste it, as it will disappear completely in just a few minutes.