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Old Sep 18th 2017, 2:15 am   #1186
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Greetings and sanitations!

Re...living close to the family.

I agree with all the comments on this particular topic. I was fore-warned prior to coming here....in fact the best advice I got was to live in a city nearby....but in a different country.

I ignored that advice because my lovely lady had spent a number of years away from home earning to provide for her family, and she was at last coming home to settle down. With me. I supported her in that wish although she did say we could settle elsewhere if I so desired. Prior to meeting her, I was going to visit other places in the Philippines and then decide where to stay. But, I felt she deserved to be with her family after her sacrifices.

Initially as the regular readers of this blog will know, I encountered all the problems previously mentioned but I was fore-armed. Thankfully. I knew what to expect and dealt with each situation as diplomatically as I could. Much patience and good sense of humour was required. It seems to have worked out Ok and I credit my lovely lady for a lot of this. She was caught in between a rock and a hard place and she did a lot to curb the excesses in her own way and largely unknown to me. She could tell I was not happy with various issues and things changed slowly but surely.

Now we live together with hardly any interference from her family who only live 25 mins away. No more loans, "Red horse nights", food and soft drinks being ferreted out. Gate is always secured, no more e-cig demands and they have got used to the idea that I have rented this house for me and her....and not for all of them with me as a guest. Certainly I still have Waddly and her bf living a couple of metres away but they are not a problem. No loud music or TV, gate always locked and no friends coming and going. Although I am irked by them living here on false pretenses and paying nothing except food.....they are model tenants. Thankfully. I am sure my lovely lady made sure of that.

So, yes although I agree that living with a family can create problems, I have shown it can be done. I had the help of you guys with your advice and support for which I am thankful. And to my lovely lady who had to balance her loyalties between me and her family. Which wasn't easy.

Regards

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 8:59 pm.
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Old Sep 18th 2017, 2:42 pm   #1187
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Greetings and sanitations!

So, yes although I agree that living with a family can create problems, I have shown it can be done. I had the help of you guys with your advice and support for which I am thankful. And to my lovely lady who had to balance her loyalties between me and her family. Which wasn't easy.
I assume that you meant Salutations and not Sanitations, or maybe not.

We live close to her extended family, In-laws, brother & sister live in Manila ( 45min flight of 22hrs on a bus away ), which is good as she does not speak to them anyway, big family bust up, no idea what about, I kept well away from it.

I had the advantage of visiting here for 6/8 weeks each winter for 8 years before we eventually settled here. My wife did tell the family that once we retired here there would not be any more freeloading or big loans ( fish, pig & chicken farms had already been subsidised ) as I would not get any pension for at least 12 years after we moved here. There is always one or two who sneak through the net but in the most part I have been respected regarding that, with one exception M-i-L. She was here a few years ago when her sister died but without any word just turned up on the doorstep and said she was staying for about 6 weeks. I was not happy but kept my views to myself, until, talking one evening when she said that she would not be laid out in a cheap bamboo house as her sister was but in a nice posh house, this one. At that point I got in just before the Missus and explained that it was my house and she was not going to be laid out in it. She looked to my wife for support but did not find it. What a cheek expecting to be flown from Manila to be laid out in my house, even I am not going to be laid out in my house, quick trip to the crematorium and then thrown in the river for me.

Last edited by BEVS; Oct 12th 2017 at 12:30 am.
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Old Sep 19th 2017, 9:51 am   #1188
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Originally Posted by Stokkevn View Post
I assume that you meant Salutations and not Sanitations, or maybe not.

We live close to her extended family, In-laws, brother & sister live in Manila ( 45min flight of 22hrs on a bus away ), which is good as she does not speak to them anyway, big family bust up, no idea what about, I kept well away from it.

I had the advantage of visiting here for 6/8 weeks each winter for 8 years before we eventually settled here. My wife did tell the family that once we retired here there would not be any more freeloading or big loans ( fish, pig & chicken farms had already been subsidised ) as I would not get any pension for at least 12 years after we moved here. There is always one or two who sneak through the net but in the most part I have been respected regarding that, with one exception M-i-L. She was here a few years ago when her sister died but without any word just turned up on the doorstep and said she was staying for about 6 weeks. I was not happy but kept my views to myself, until, talking one evening when she said that she would not be laid out in a cheap bamboo house as her sister was but in a nice posh house, this one. At that point I got in just before the Missus and explained that it was my house and she was not going to be laid out in it. She looked to my wife for support but did not find it. What a cheek expecting to be flown from Manila to be laid out in my house, even I am not going to be laid out in my house, quick trip to the crematorium and then thrown in the river for me.
Was she sick at the time? Seems a strange thing to come out with!
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Old Sep 19th 2017, 9:59 am   #1189
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Was she sick at the time? Seems a strange thing to come out with!
No she was not sick, just laying out what she thought the ground rules were for when she shuffled off her mortal perch.
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Old Sep 19th 2017, 10:12 am   #1190
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No she was not sick, just laying out what she thought the ground rules were for when she shuffled off her mortal perch.
Well, at the end of the day you could have promised her anything. And then do as you like. It's not as if she would have been in a position to do anything about it.
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Old Sep 19th 2017, 10:37 am   #1191
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Well, at the end of the day you could have promised her anything. And then do as you like. It's not as if she would have been in a position to do anything about it.
Problem is, that she would have told all her family that live round here
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Old Sep 19th 2017, 12:53 pm   #1192
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No flying involved I think she was angling to stay until the said event.
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Old Sep 21st 2017, 1:24 pm   #1193
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No flying involved I think she was angling to stay until the said event.
Thank goodness I said no then, that was 8 years ago and she is still going strong.
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