Philosophical 11

Thought I would do an up-date. Gf's father took ill about a week ago and was transferred to a hospital which entails 5 hour round trip. Meant getting up early in the morning for 5 days at about 4.00 am to catch the bus with her and various family members. Never want to see another bus for a long time and my eyes were opened at the state of health care here. Fortunately he had Phils health and is now out of hospital and recuperating.

Renovations going well. Gf is in charge and has already sacked one person because of his low standard of work. He is the "skilled worker" I mentioned earlier. She makes them get receipts for all items and scrutinises them carefully and passes them on to me. She is also strict with her father in this respect and is not afraid to speak her mind to him. She has a book with all the hours worked, wages paid and all receipts. Bless her.
Painting etc should be finished in a few days...then at last I will not be woken up at 'silly o'clock'.

Life in Phils is very good. Just need to get used to the food. Fish heads and a bucket full of rice is becoming wearing! An exaggeration...to make the point.

steve18

did u manage to get hold of any e-liquids mate ?

Philosophical 11

Not yet Steve. Awaiting delivery from the Uk......stuck in Manila apparently.

steve18

im going on 8 weeks without any roll ups.been on a flavour called RY4 its tobacco with hint of nutty vanilla.i started on 24mg now down to 6mg. I hope it arrives to you ok. what is the word on the postal service there?

quiltman

Rhymes with Hit!

steve18

LOL's I thought it would be that good

Stokkevn

Many different recipes available here. Soup Nr5 is one to avoid, this is a very nice vegetable soup which they spoil by placing a pig's three piece suite in the middle without even disguising it by cutting it into bits. Another is pig's uterus stew and BBQ pig vagina. It is at this point I usually go for the cheese sandwich option.

Philosophical 11

Thought I would do a quick update....

Dvd player works ok with the TV...so it must have been an all systems tv. I was quite surprised!

Gf surprised me the other day to say that she wants to work to support her sister who is at college and needs 30000 php for her last years studies. While she was in Kuwait she supported her with her wages but now she cannot without a job. Problem is her nearest place of work is 5hr bus ride away which means I will only see her at weekends for the next year. Her studies cost 48K in monthly instalments but on 30K in one lump sum. I was not too pleased with this so volunteered to pay the 30k myself. Her enrolment is on 6 June and I believe we will attend the occasion. I expect to pay in person and get receipts etc.

Got my e-juice supply sorted now. From the UK and in Bacolod where I visit for visa renewal.

Renewed visa a couple of weeks ago which was quite painless except for the 10 hour round journey by bus. ACR is also being processed and once collected will get Philhealth cover.

I mentioned earlier gf sister moved into the cellar next door but was supposed to be on a temp basis. I was not consulted over this so was not too happy especially as she is using free water, electrics, wifi and rent free. Its looking more like a permanent move now but we get on well so I am not too concerned. Think it would be churlish to charge rent etc.

Met up with 2 foreigners Both have pinay partners and own a restaurant. One French and one American. We do a bit of socialising but the American fella is a bit tiresome at times!

Joined Living in the Philippines 3 which is interesting. Not contributed yet but learning from the inputs.

Gf suggested buying a few pigs for extra income. Did the sums and it sounded like a small profit could be made and could be used as a hobby. However, she said but first we must dig a big hole. I asked for costings....and the project appears to be kicked into the long grass.!

House has now been refurbed and pleased it is all over. Nice not to have painters etc waking me up at the ungodly hour of 7.00 am!

So apart from the news that she wanted to work away from home.... all is looking good. Ok, there are still a few ffs moments but the Philippines wouldn't be the same without them.

That's all for now

Stokkevn

There is more than one way to skin a cat and the best way to get rid of the potential sister-in-law is to buy her an expensive box of chocolates and a nice tee-shirt. She may wish to stay but gf will eject as soon as. Before you get accused of two timing etc. her just mention that that gay/ladyboy in the market was quite good looking. Stunned silence, confusion and quiet life follows.

Philosophical 11

Nice reply Stokkevn! I will bear that in mind if the need arises.

Gf announced this morning that her family has to move house again because the house they are renting is being sold. She and her father think it would be a wonderful idea if I bought them a house going for sale at 250k so they never need move again. Her father would pay something each month for the privilege. I said I do not have the money to buy and indeed I would not be able to own the property. Gf is now in a "huff". Dont like the way this is going.... We will see.

InVinoVeritas

Hope you don't mind me joining your thread? It's even better than Stickman Reader Submissions!

++IVV

Philosophical 11

Welcome aboard Invinoveritas!

Now gf has asked if we can spend a couple of days away with friends. They are a US/filippina couple. She is Ok but he is hard work and anymore than 10 mins with him gets me irritated. Made the excuse on the grounds that I have just agreed to pay out 30k for her sisters education this year and 5k maintenance p/m and therefore cannot afford to keep spending. Only just come back from CEBU with this couple plus visits to various local resorts. G/f has now retired to the bedroom.

mikemike

I do not wish to cause any angst, yet what you are reporting is a pretty normal tell tale, of a highway to hell relationship. unless your Gf gets over herself pretty quick this is only going to go one way. Stick to your guns over the finance issue make it very clear you are not the family ATM.

I have been there its tough but if you can tough it out, things may improve slowly or they will come to a head very fast which means you can cut your losses now.

The mistake many foreigners make is to believe that it will all be ok as what we see does not for us, pass a ''makes sense test'. The problem is we are the ones who do not make any sense in their test!! Filipinos are used to being poor and live very well off it!!. Any chance to improve is always a short term view as too many, not all, live in the here and now.

Should it come to the point that you feel uncomfortable about sticking around. Do not let pride and good intent get in the way. I say that as reactions to getting the bad news can be followed by serious consequences. I have seen too many try to do the ''right thing in the right way'' only to find that their values are far from shared let alone respected. I know of one guy who decided it was time and advised that he had to go to the embassy to get his passport stamped. He instead went to the airport and got the first flight out. He was right to do so as e-mail after e-mail was death threat etc, followed by its all ok now. He was sensible he stayed away.

I really hope that this is not the scenario you may face, some of us do make it all the way through. I dread to think what the stats are for finding how many of us have survived!! and how many of us have succeeded in finding an alternative.

Relationships are never easy, just over here they are that much harder because of family and outside influence that is out of all proportion.

All the very best

Philosophical 11

Thanks for your advice and support mikemike. The problem with her is that she will not talk about it or any other issues she may have. She is still saying nothing is wrong but has a face like a lost orphan in the snow. Sadly, in the past when we have issues it is the same scenario and ends with her posting something on fb which reflects badly on me. That is unacceptable in my view and I then issue ultimatums which ends with floods of tears and everything is good again. No way can I back down on this. I can turn my back and go elsewhere.

mikemike

it is good that you are being honest with yourself on this. some try to believe that time will heal, it probably will not.

This is one of those things we experience across cultures, here it is a very emotional weakness that we find hard to understand and accept. Mentally it does us in and drags us down very fast.

Turning away is admitting you can do better elsewhere, no harm in that.