quiltman

Thanks for the update. looks like you're settling in!

Stokkevn

I think this topic could be the beginning of a World best selling novel "Welcome to the Philippines by a New Arrival".

I told my wife about your intention to introduce 'household budget' conversation, she just laughed, and said "Good luck" knowing full well that I have been trying to introduce this for the last 10 years with an outstanding failure.

mikemike

You are not alone..believe me!!

Philosophical 11

Thanks again all. It was mentioned earlier that I should seek out ex-pats in my area which is very good advice. Problem is there is very few around here....think I have seen about half a dozen since arriving. It can seem a bit isolated without learning the language and I tend to get neglected during family outings. My remedy so far is to seek out somewhere selling Red Horse Beer and chat to the locals who seem more interested in a foreigner. This results in gf sending out father to see where I am and further results in father and I having a few more Red Horses together! And then zig-zagging back together. She now pays far more attention to me at these outings bless her.

Smiled at the comments re family budgeting. Guess I have my work cut out on this one!
She has always indicated that she would work to help the budget which is nice but not really what I want. Prefer her to be here....not out working. We will see. She is handling the refurb expenses keeping careful notes on what is spent and wages paid etc. She is also quite happy spending her terminal wage on family get outings. Which reminds me. I have now got used to the idea of "lets go to the beach" not just means her and I....but the whole family. I have made it known that although I enjoy the company of the family it would be nice to spend time alone together. Another compromise was reached.

quiltman

Stokkevn has the right idea! could be a world best seller!
suggested title ' I didn't do it my way".

bakedbean

Yeh do the book. I'm just loving this topic and I don't loiter too much in this part of the forum. Better than Bill Bryson

mikek1

Sent you an email to your mail address given on this site. Did you get it ? The email contained some sites that are regularly used by ex-pats in Bacolod. You could arrange to meet up with them.

You mentioned that your landlady has some land for sale and you would get a discount of PHP 50K in payment for the renovation work you have done............................I can see where this is leading .....................BEWARE !!!

Philosophical 11

Hi mike1,

Not received any e.mail. Will send it to you via pm.

I may not have explained the situation re. the land properly. The house we are renting belongs to the landlady and so does the land. We have seen the deeds. She has offered the house for sale as a future option for 1.5million but with a discount of 50k because of the refurbs we have done. No intention of taking up that option just yet in view of the fact that a foreigner cannot own property in Phils. It would have to be in gf's name.

quiltman

As mikek1 says , be careful. Is the landlady offering both the house AND the land , or just the house? There are ways around foreigners not being able to own land, or property other than a condo, but you're not on that road yet. If you put it in the GF name you have virtually no rights at all - she can sell it out from under you , or kick you out. Hopefully you are one of the lucky ones and your GF is a keeper. If in any doubt come ask here - there are plenty of people who have gone through the same situation.
Not me , as my wife is english , and we lease our house from our sons corporation, but I know other expats who have ended up on the streets after their GF turned on them.

Keep writing the book!

Stokkevn

Most likely it should be "We did it her way"

Philosophical 11

Thanks again. It was the house she was willing to sell.....not the land. Although I have said I trust my gf implicitly, I would not buy under her name. I too have heard the horror stories. Sensible precautions is the by-word. would have preferred to rent unfurnished but they seem few and between here.

As this thread appears to draw mirth and merriment....thought I would introduce this into the mix. The Pinay.

I have long heard that Pinays are amongst the most loving and caring you can wish to have. One of the attractions of me being here. And yes....my gf is no exception. Always by my side even if I am watching something on tv which totally bores her she will not go to bed until I do. Bless her. Rather taken back when I found out after a few days that her name is different to that on the passport.... Date of Birth wrong by 10 days....and interestingly....she is male on birth certificate! I can vouch that is wrong! Mid-wife had too much coconut wine apparently. Very sensitive by nature. Scrupulously clean. Drop a crumb on the floor and if not picked up in a nano second then I get a tut. Leave a microbe of washing up liquid on a plate when I put it away results in bigger tuts. She has now forgiven me for not using the "hose" when we first moved in.... Sensitive. Easily hurt and indeed I found her weeping packing her bags a couple of weeks ago when I harshly handled the situation of loads of kids waking me up at stupid o'clock in living room with the tv blaring. I was wrong in the way I handled it (I am a grump first thing in the morning) and managed to retrieve the situation. Part of understanding each other I guess. Mind you....kids don't come in until later in the day. Saying all that....love her to bits. Wouldn't be without her. Very caring and loving. I am sure yours are the same... :-)

quiltman

Another interesting update The passport thing is not unusual here - you will see petitions published in the papers to either correct a name, a birthdate and correcting sex on birth certificate.Seems lots of midwives drink coconut wine!
Keep your experiences coming, we are all enjoying following your assimilation into the Pinay culture.

Gazza-d

My wife Tess is really Maria. Her full name is Maria Teresa which by custom becomes Maritess. The family then shorten it to Tess. Hence Maria became Tess. It is not unusual for someone to be know as a different name to their official name.

Another custom that involves changing names is if a child is sickly, it is said that this is due to them having a bad name. The family will then choose another name for the child. It can be years later when the child finds out that what they thought was their name is not in fact. One couple I know had a panic when applying for emmigration that the name the girl had used to get married suddenly found out that it wasn't her real name.

Philosophical 11

Must admit I wasn't too concerned about the wrong name and date of birth. However, I did give a little gulp when I found out after a few days that she was officially male. Careful inspection for signs of an "Adams Apple" and a few other bits and pieces soon allayed my fears. She wants to have that rectified soon but fearing vast sums of money and numerous visits to various Government establishments involving a lot of bonking, stamping and queuing has put that on the back burner. For now.

Gazza-d

For what in the end is their cock up the process to correct it is surprisingly convoluted.