Stokkevn

I fear your suspicion of of which wag it may have been was right.

Gazza-d

The bedroom in the old house was wallpapered, I suspect ready for my upcoming visit. In the night when it was very quiet, yes unusual for the Philippines, I could hear a crackling noise. On enquiring I was told it was the termites eating the paste off the back of the wallpaper.

Stokkevn

Speaking to a retired American friend who has some rice fields. He said that one afternoon one of workers asked if he had any condoms as he thought he would be lucky that night. He had some he had brought from the States so he gave him one. The next day he inquired about his luck the previous night. All the worker could say was there was something wrong with the condom, it kept falling off.

Size maybe?

Gazza-d

I bought some local ones and man were they tight. and I've got nothing to brag about.

Stokkevn

Reading a book the other day about a cruise ship holiday, fiction. But the following came up which is definitely not fiction.

Barman “If you ask any Filipino on this ship a question, the answer is always ‘Yes’”


Customer “Always?”


Barman “Yes. Only the ‘yes’ means three different things, the first type of ‘Yes’ means I agree. The second type of ‘Yes’ means I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am going to agree to avoid conflict. The third type of ‘Yes’ means that I hear you, and I completely understand, but I have no intention whatsoever of complying with your request, even though I am saying ‘Yes’”.

Philosophical 11

Greetings,

With tropical storm Isang lurking about causing unsettled weather here, my lovely lady reminded me that we have another 17 storms to come this year. I asked her how she knew it would be 17. Her reply was that the storms/typhoons are named from A - Z. This one was beginning with I which meant there were another 17 more to go this year before we started from A again next year. I nodded in acknowledgement of the wisdom of her statement. As you do.

Regards

Pete

Stokkevn

Told my wife about this, all I got was "Well she is right, isn't she" enough said.

Stokkevn

Two for the price of one today.

The first is a definite contester for the Darin Awards. He had changed his motorbike front light from a normal white light to a red one, that definitely will not cause confusion at night.

The second was that in the main street in Roxas City they are having to repaint the zebra crossings because all the markings they put down just before Xmas have gone. One crossing there was absolutely no paint left so it was going to have to be marked out again. As I passed there were no signs or warnings that work was ongoing and only one person involved in the operation. He was on his knees in the middle of the road with a tape measure and piece of chalk, cars, trucks & tricycles going both sides of him. Did not see him on the way home 15mins later.

Gazza-d

Whilst visiting our son at Durham University we were visiting a local attraction which was in a deep valley. The wife wanted to take the usual selfies infront of the 30m waterfall and decided that her selfies stick wouldn't work because there was no bluetooth down here.

Stokkevn

My Missus still struggles to understand why the internet is required for facebook. She thinks that they are totally independent of each other.

ChrisKVie

I'm not sure whether some of the stories in this thread are true, but they are entertaining. That was until just recently;

Grandad (lolo) often sits out front and watches the World go by and on Sunday he decides to speak to me for the first time in days. He said ' your friend was passing by with his kids and asked if you and Mikey (my son) wanted to go swimming' As it was nearly lunchtime I decided to drop my friend an SMS and say thanks for the offer but would have a raincheck.........my friend responded 'that was yesterday' !.

Philosophical 11

Philippine logic...

We have a bus service that goes from Bacolod to Sipalay quite frequently. The bus completes the round trip. When getting the bus from Sipalay to Bacolod it goes every 2 hrs so I am reliably told. But from Bacolod to Sipalay its every 30 mins. I think there is a lot of missing buses hiding somewhere.....

Regards

Pete

Philosophical 11

More Philippine logic.....

Sitting down to an excellent lunch today of prawns baked in a beautiful sauce, I casually mentioned that the smaller prawns are more tender than the larger prawns she normally buys. She agreed and added that a kilo of the smaller prawns would be lighter to carry than a kilo of the larger prawns. I have learnt to nod sagely.

Still remember a romantic evening on the beach and gazing together into the moon. As you do. I mentioned how amazing it is that man has set foot on the moon. She looked at me in disbelief and thought I was talking about witchcraft, sorcery or magic. Or perhaps a fictional film.

Regards

Pete

Raffin

Over half of Britons think the moon landings were faked in e2save survey | Daily Mail Online

Jerseygirl

As the title says this thread is for humourous episodes...therefore as requested I have removed the off topic posts.