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Old Nov 30th 2017, 3:22 pm   #1
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Default Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

Wife's auntie, who I like and lives just round the corner, has just had a stroke. Her sister/my M-i-L will be arriving soon and has told the wife she will be staying with us, uninvited. From previous experience, every time she stays her and the missus end up fighting, I end up at shouting at both. M-i-L finds alternative accommodation arrangements and wife makes alternative sleeping arrangements. The only friend I have is the dog, who last time they had an argument, bit both of them.

Do I put my foot down before M-i-L turns up and say she is not staying here and endure short term wrath from 'her in doors'.

or

Suffer M-i-L visit and end up as the bad boy from both as I explain how grown-ups behave.

Keeping quiet is not one of my strong points.
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Old Nov 30th 2017, 3:38 pm   #2
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

Its about expectations? How about agreeing with her indoors that last time was bad, and you are concerned - for the harmonious relationships of all of you, and that this time, if it goes bad again, it has to be the last time... If necessary get her indoors to relay the same message to the mil [or not if youre being sneaky]... Either she will realise the hurt she has caused and be on best behaviour, or she will know and cant argue when she tries to move in next time and will know why she aint gonna stay with you again. I was considering mother in law scented treats for the dog, but thats not kind to dumb animals [think about it...]

Balls then in her court, and you have agreed future actions with your other half...
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Old Nov 30th 2017, 4:03 pm   #3
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

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Its about expectations? How about agreeing with her indoors that last time was bad, and you are concerned - for the harmonious relationships of all of you, and that this time, if it goes bad again, it has to be the last time... If necessary get her indoors to relay the same message to the mil [or not if youre being sneaky]... Either she will realise the hurt she has caused and be on best behaviour, or she will know and cant argue when she tries to move in next time and will know why she aint gonna stay with you again. I was considering mother in law scented treats for the dog, but thats not kind to dumb animals [think about it...]

Balls then in her court, and you have agreed future actions with your other half...
Maybe I should have mentioned that M-i-L's last 5 visits have ended badly with the wife. At one point M-i-L was not speaking to her sister so I invited her round when M-i-L was visiting and made them both sit in the nippa hut in the garden until they got on. They asked about food which I said they would get when they had made up. They did, but 'her in doors' did consider it a bit harsh, but eventually admitted that it had worked.
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Old Nov 30th 2017, 4:11 pm   #4
I still dont believe it..
 
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

Well, say no, so long as your other half agrees. I was thinking of making sure that it goes that way next time if your wife and partner fulltime doesnt agree this time.
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Old Nov 30th 2017, 8:37 pm   #5
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

Say no. This is a hike to an unhappy place.
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Old Nov 30th 2017, 11:43 pm   #6
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

Suggest you move in with the dog, if it will have you. After all, you will both be in the dog house and sharing is caring.

As the MIL is here to take care of her sister, why does she not be the 'in house carer' for her, or does aunty live with you?i
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Old Dec 1st 2017, 12:16 am   #7
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

I don't have a recommendation, but I would like to say that you have a smart dog!
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Old Dec 1st 2017, 5:58 am   #8
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

Well that went better than expected. Broached the subject about her mum finding somewhere else to stay during her visit. All I got was a smile and a "Thank you". Apparently she had only been letting her mum stay because she was frightened that I might think she was cruel if she told her to go and find somewhere else to stay.
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Old Dec 1st 2017, 6:18 am   #9
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

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I don't have a recommendation, but I would like to say that you have a smart dog!
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Old Dec 1st 2017, 12:00 pm   #10
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

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I don't have a recommendation, but I would like to say that you have a smart dog!
Smart! They own two human slaves who feed them, walk them, play with them, buy them toys, take them to the beach and wash their blankets. I wish I owned someone who did all that for me.
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Old Dec 1st 2017, 1:02 pm   #11
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

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Well that went better than expected. Broached the subject about her mum finding somewhere else to stay during her visit. All I got was a smile and a "Thank you". Apparently she had only been letting her mum stay because she was frightened that I might think she was cruel if she told her to go and find somewhere else to stay.
I do like a happy ending!
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Old Dec 1st 2017, 1:09 pm   #12
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I do like a happy ending!
So do I, especially those that conclude with me having more brownie points at the end than I started with.
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Old Dec 2nd 2017, 1:15 am   #13
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

I bet the dogs are happy as well as they will not be sharing with you)
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Old Dec 2nd 2017, 1:28 pm   #14
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

M-i-L's arrival was apparently a bit of a shouting match between her, the gate and an empty house, we had gone to town and dogs refused entry. She is now staying with her sister but still not a happy bunny as her house is not posh enough for her. Dogs on extra rations.
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Old Dec 2nd 2017, 1:47 pm   #15
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Default Re: Between a Rock and a Hard Pile

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Dogs on extra rations.
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