Justcol

At 13.25pm today our eldest son (19 next week) boarded his one way flight
back to the uk .
We knew it was a bad time for him to come to NZ with us in 2008 and we
knew at some point he would be making the journey back to the UK.
we are so proud of him for knuckling down at school, making lots of new
friends in NZ and giving it good go.
Not once during his 18 months in NZ has he moaned or grumbled about his
time here and as a parent i've seen such a positive change in him and a maturity
develop that has surpised me.
I'm a little worried about how he'll manage with out us in the UK but its time
for him to step out on his own and i'm sure he'll be fine.

Now, anyone got any ideas for stopping the wife from crying ? She's been at
it for two days now

kiwi_child

Aside from pointing out that you can all keep in touch thru modern tech, eg, skype and webcam chats, maybe a promised reunion holiday? Either you guys go to uk and catch up with him or shout him a trip out next xmas maybe?

In meantime why don't you 2 see if you can getaway for a few days to somewhere nice for a little break?

It's just the initial seperation and worry.

Best of luck. I'm sure she will come right.

MnB

Oh this is so hard for you as parents...especially your wife I know when we took our daughter, who was then 18, up to Oxford to start uni I cried all the way home....couldn't explain why I was feeling such a huge sense of loss...she was only 3 hours away!! It does get better tho! We did as other poster suggested and made time for us as a couple.
Well done to your son for giving NZ a go, am sure he will be a frequent visitor and maybe come 'home' when he's finished his studies.

Best wishes B x

willand tina_h

thinking of you both at this time. Just be there for each other throughout and I am sure you will get through this sad time I am a mum of 2 and feel so sad for your wife (and you of course) a mothers love eh????? Hugs and love to her from me.

Tina. x

j19fmm

Col and Ros, sorry to hear No1 son has flown back to UK. I'm sure he'll be back! How's his brother feeling about it?
Would Ros consider adoption? I know a lovely family in the UK who would fit right in... Meanwhile, make her a dinner complete with Bisto, comfort food, yum

Numptyhead

Hi Col,

Your post touched me this morning. I left my 25yr old son back in the UK (he's in the Navy) and I cried so much when we parted. I had to have a little chat with myself

Karma sent
xx

Justcol

Thanks all.
Number 2 son has taken it very well considering he has
just inhereted about 200 CD's and DVD's plus
an xbox360 as they were too heavy to take back with him.

I'll be ok once he's landed and i can chat with him on msn messenger.

At least now we have an excuse to go back to the uk
for a short time and check up, sorry i mean pay him a visit.

j19fmm

Ahh, the resilience of the young,eh?

RobDon

I know our situation is slightly different but this post brought it all back to me about leaving our 19yr old son in the UK.
Most people on BE are aware of our situation and "Jack". He chose to stay in the UK when we moved over.
The whole family cried and cried but you know what it does get better as time passes and we all keep in touch via the pc, MSN etc...
At least your son came over and gave it a go-it just wasnt for him at the moment. It doesnt mean he wont be back.
With modern technology it is easier than ever to keep in touch which is a comfort. You will feel better with time, honestly.

lindsay loo

Hi

Really feel for you all. We are coming to Auckland in January and are leaving our son Dan, who is 19, behind. He will be better off in Uk career wise and will hopefully join us further down the line - who knows. I am dreading saying goodbye, but know I will be able to speak to him on Skype, trying not to think about it. He will be coming for a short visit in July, so will have to focus on that - he seems so young, but he will probably cope better than me.

Love Lindsay

Justcol

We spoke to him last night and are feeling better.
It didnt help with our other son going off on a school trip for 3 days yesterday.
We,ve now gone from a family of 4 to just the wife and I rattling around in our
house that now seems way to big.
Still, much calmer about it all now

Wooly_Cow

All the best to you. Our eldest did the same in September but.....she's coming back for Christmas loaded with all her stories of her great times at uni in England. Only one week to go for us!.

I'm sure your son will have a great time and stay in touch. Remember by him being in New Zealand he has now got a far wider outlook and experience and of course another choice of where to live!.

Stay in contact (Skype, MSN, email, even 'snail mail' (there's nothing like getting a letter of small parcel)), and the time will fly.

Psychopandy

Oh you guys, so sorry hes gone i hope by now you are feeling a little better now that hes landed safe.
I cant add anything the others havent done, just to let you know we are thinking of you x
In regards to suggestions as to what may help - have you tried wine??

xx Psycho xx

Paula2007

I feel for you - I know it is awful - I cry all the way to Singapore everytime I leave my two children in NZ. But as they say - we are only one day away and with email and cheap phone calls it is much much better than it was years ago when you waved someone off on a £10 passage never to clap eyes on them again!!.

Just before email and mobile phones were common my daughter back packed around Oz for 18 months on her own and I never knew whether she was dead or alive, except for the odd post card. Now, with email etc., not a week goes by when we don't speak to them or email each other. I am sure that the pull of NZ for nice holidays with his Mum and Dad will seem very enticing to him, in time. I feel it more at Christmas time as I am sure you will, - as it is a family time. Hopefully when you get into a regular routine of ringing him up (strange how it is me ringing my children they never seem to fork out for the phone call to ring me)!! you and your wife will feel much better and I would definately set a date to go on holiday to the UK as that does keep you going knowing that you will see each other in the not too distant future. Take care. Paula

Psychopandy

Hello col

Just wondering how Ros was doing today, she run out of tissues yet?

I hope she is feeling a bit better and youve managed to speak with him.

See you soon xx

Psycho