Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Nov 14th 2011, 5:00 pm
#46
Banned
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
We/they have to ask ourselves 'why'?
Perhaps the Kiwis we/they come across have never left the shores and are parochial. You get people like that everywhere in the world. The ones that have never lived abroad. Friendly on the surface but that is where it ends. It is not a direct criticism of Kiwis but perhaps the people that 'never got out'.
That is not to say all Kiwis are like that. I have met some super Kiwis overseas. My husband is Kiwi.
However some of the people I have come across here can be spiteful and xenophobic and make you feel unwelcome. There is a particular venom reserved for 'foreigners' who buy property here and have good jobs. The locals feel that their jobs are being taken away, their property bought up. There is some understandable envy.
There has got to be some truth in what these people say. And sooo many people complain of feeling 'shut out' and unwelcome.
We/they cant all be whingeing poms!
Last edited by tweetweet; Nov 14th 2011 at 5:09 pm.
Nov 14th 2011, 5:48 pm
#47
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
it's the same everywhere.
I hear the same complaint about Canadians here in Vancouver (can't make friends, can't break in blah blah)
I lived in OZ for 4 years and found it very hard to break in with the Melbourne cliques.
The bottom line is YOU have moved to a country where people have their friends, families, social networks. They don't need you. Whereas you need them, because you're new. It's not personal, it's just life is busy and for most people, the old friends and family come first. It's actually not their job to make you feel welcome.
Almost all of my friends here aren't locals. So what?
I hear the same complaint about Canadians here in Vancouver (can't make friends, can't break in blah blah)
I lived in OZ for 4 years and found it very hard to break in with the Melbourne cliques.
The bottom line is YOU have moved to a country where people have their friends, families, social networks. They don't need you. Whereas you need them, because you're new. It's not personal, it's just life is busy and for most people, the old friends and family come first. It's actually not their job to make you feel welcome.
Almost all of my friends here aren't locals. So what?
Nov 14th 2011, 9:06 pm
#48
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Just to point out I have friends they happen to be English, Irish and welsh.
Nov 14th 2011, 9:10 pm
#50
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Lol lighten up dear, I rant in here I dont actually have that attitude with the kiwis I met, been out a few times with some, I'm invited them round for wine And meals but I guess they have their own clique and family so don't really need to bother with us British.
Nov 14th 2011, 9:13 pm
#51
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Its made me very bitter I must admit when I've made such a effort but not anymore!
Thank god for my English friends I say as they understand and as we away from our family we need each other.
Thank god for my English friends I say as they understand and as we away from our family we need each other.
Nov 14th 2011, 9:15 pm
#52
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
it's the same everywhere.
I hear the same complaint about Canadians here in Vancouver (can't make friends, can't break in blah blah)
I lived in OZ for 4 years and found it very hard to break in with the Melbourne cliques.
The bottom line is YOU have moved to a country where people have their friends, families, social networks. They don't need you. Whereas you need them, because you're new. It's not personal, it's just life is busy and for most people, the old friends and family come first. It's actually not their job to make you feel welcome.
Almost all of my friends here aren't locals. So what?
I hear the same complaint about Canadians here in Vancouver (can't make friends, can't break in blah blah)
I lived in OZ for 4 years and found it very hard to break in with the Melbourne cliques.
The bottom line is YOU have moved to a country where people have their friends, families, social networks. They don't need you. Whereas you need them, because you're new. It's not personal, it's just life is busy and for most people, the old friends and family come first. It's actually not their job to make you feel welcome.
Almost all of my friends here aren't locals. So what?
Yes your right.
Nov 14th 2011, 10:24 pm
#54
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
My only criticism is with the generalisation about Kiwis. I certainly did not label all Brits as arrogant snobs from my long experience in the English Public School system, nor as dole-bludging, workshy drug addicts from personal observations in Manchester. There is nothing fake about virtually all the Kiwis I know. I am sad that you have had that experience and formed that impression, but remember that I could easily have formed very unfavourable opinions about Brits from my own experiences. I just happened to look below the surface, beyond the rather unpleasant characters whom I frequently met in the U.K. You have only to view the blotchy-red sunburned, blobby, loud-mouthed Pom at play abroad to cringe at the association (certainly Mr G does). However, I do not assume that such a stereotype represents the entire nation. I do hope that you meet some friendly Kiwis while you are here - perhaps you too could call in for a cold one at Rotoiti this summer? (oops, that's a beer, not a kiwi)
And to dispel any illusion that I am parochial in my outlook, I have spent 13 of my 60 years living abroad, from the UK and France to Japan and Australia.
And to dispel any illusion that I am parochial in my outlook, I have spent 13 of my 60 years living abroad, from the UK and France to Japan and Australia.
Nov 15th 2011, 1:36 am
#55
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
My only criticism is with the generalisation about Kiwis. I certainly did not label all Brits as arrogant snobs from my long experience in the English Public School system, nor as dole-bludging, workshy drug addicts from personal observations in Manchester. There is nothing fake about virtually all the Kiwis I know. I am sad that you have had that experience and formed that impression, but remember that I could easily have formed very unfavourable opinions about Brits from my own experiences. I just happened to look below the surface, beyond the rather unpleasant characters whom I frequently met in the U.K. You have only to view the blotchy-red sunburned, blobby, loud-mouthed Pom at play abroad to cringe at the association (certainly Mr G does). However, I do not assume that such a stereotype represents the entire nation. I do hope that you meet some friendly Kiwis while you are here - perhaps you too could call in for a cold one at Rotoiti this summer? (oops, that's a beer, not a kiwi)
And to dispel any illusion that I am parochial in my outlook, I have spent 13 of my 60 years living abroad, from the UK and France to Japan and Australia.
And to dispel any illusion that I am parochial in my outlook, I have spent 13 of my 60 years living abroad, from the UK and France to Japan and Australia.
but apart from that i have some lovely kiwi neighbours and ONE! kiwi friend, they are both well travelled maybe that as something to do with it? or maybe because i live in Wanganui??
and im proberly right 
Nov 15th 2011, 1:59 am
#56
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Tell you a secret I wouldn't share with anyone else....I lived in Wangers (Springvale) for 8 years! (it's not that bad really...)
Nov 15th 2011, 2:09 am
#57
.
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I'm wavin' the flag for Wanganui ! (Lived in Springvale for 2 months before moving to the house that we purchased at the beginning of September in Wanganui) Hello Bev. Debbi**** here. Lost my old screen name, got a different one one. You've met other Brits in NZ ? Where am I on the weird scale ? 
Nov 15th 2011, 2:15 am
#58
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I'm wavin' the flag for Wanganui ! (Lived in Springvale for 2 months before moving to the house that we purchased at the beginning of September in Wanganui) Hello Bev. Debbi**** here. Lost my old screen name, got a different one one. You've met other Brits in NZ ? Where am I on the weird scale ?
haha not you my dear, how are you I sent you a message on your old profile, wonder what happened to you
Nov 15th 2011, 2:18 am
#59
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,787
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I used to defend Wangas but the recent events I'm not so sure
Nov 15th 2011, 2:23 am
#60
.
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Ooops, sorry Bev. Changed my screen name (or returned to the original one I should say). My screen name Debbi**** got deleted as it was relevant to my old work place e-mail in Britain. Please feel free to PM me in my incarnation as Debbie and Ray. I should have said hello when you were in Countdown last Friday. You had your gym gear on and a shopping list in your hand - you looked like you were concentrating ! I could have touched you on the shoulder you were that close !