1166

Run. Run as fast as you can and don't look back. If you organize yourself quickly you can be out of here early in the new year. Doesn't get better and you just end up with spending any money you may have.

You should give up all in NZ and go to have some life in the UK. I grew up in NZ and left for 20 years living in different countries. My husband is English. It is like the land of the living dead here and I have been back for 4 years. 4 years to long. We hate it, our children hate it and I too have no happy memories here. There is no life, the people are awful and it's to isolated. Main problem are the people.

TommyLuck

Kids don't tend to "hate" anything.

One might suspect that they learn to "hate" from their elders ... ?

And to say "the people are awful". What does this actually mean? All people are awful? If so, how so?

It'd be useful if you could give some context to your opinion.

LauraNotts

No disrespect to anyone's opinions here, but any of the awful things said about NZ have also always been turned around and used as criticisms of the UK. NZ is too isolated, the UK is full of immigrants/too tied to Europe etc, there's nothing to do in NZ, things in the UK are too hard to get to due to traffic etc.

One of my big moans is food and I try not to because you know what, the food here is not actually that much more expensive than the UK if you discount seasonality (which was a fact of life in the UK very very recently too) and GST being added onto food. That and it's actually generally better food too.

Seriously, I am happy here. I don't try to think too much about that happy. I just let it be.

1166

Our children did. They both started high school over here - year 9 and 10 and after 6 months they both came to us one day and said they hated it here and wanted to leave. We thought time would change their minds. It didn't - it just changed ours. Our daughter has just finished year 13 and they all had to say what they would be doing next year. Nearly all the English students said they were leaving or going to leave to go back to Europe asap. The people have grown up to isolated. They do not appear to have many friends, have no sense of humor, are mean spirited, treat their children and animals not very well. Example is: children will often be out, go to school, in the middle of winter, with no shoes and no coats. The parents will have warm boots and jackets but apparently their children don't want them. Dogs will be left outside all the time and never socialized - we are the opposite and our dog is part of the family. Some are nice but my overall opinion is mean spirited.

BEVS

I have moved these posts from Sazzle's update thread to a thread of it's own.

I'm not sure this is an update as OP is new.

You do appear to be having a very tough time of it 1166. Life is far too short for you all to be that miserable day in day out . So are you looking to the future and planning a move away .

I will say though , that there is a difference between sharing personal views & experience to making huge sweeping statements. Not all people are awful. Not all dogs are kept outside.

However, I can really feel for you that your family doesn't feel settled at all and that you find yourselves in a place where you feel surrounded by , perhaps, strangers that you don't understand and who may not understand you. This can happen when you move area . It doesn't matter how far the distance or to where.

Tom H

If you can, i'd get out..

Or perhaps look to what I did and do some charity work. It might not work for you but it did for me. Seeing what other people are going through and helping them out. I spent a few hours each day after work helping out this young single mother and two youngsters for 3 months through the winter. Just going across to cook for her, take them all shopping to the local stores etc. It really helped me get a sense of what others are going through. The sort that "the press commentators" and right wingers would say pah - serves you right. Of course it wasn't her fault her partner lost his life due to cancer, not her fault that her insurers to this day are still going back and forth with EQC about getting her house damaged 4 years ago sorted and it's not her fault her daughter has a disability that requires her to be home all the time - therefore unable to get a job. But hey, sell our souls to China is far more important to the I'm alright Jack brigade. I thought I had it tough until I saw what she's going through. I'd have happily taken them in if we had a big enough house, which I think the person looking after her now has done.

Whatever the situation, obviously you'll find the answer and hopefully in this case it'll be the right one. I'm sure your youngsters will love their OE. There is a reason why many a Australians and New Zealanders go to Europe for their OE.

SSky

Yup you should prob plan your return to the UK if you hate it so much here. It's not healthy for you to live life so miserable. Good luck whatever you decided :-)

jmh

I just wanted to comment because we may have more in common that some others. I too was brought up here and lived 24 years overseas. When I first joined this site some years ago I was contemplating a move back but I knew that the country had changed and so had I. Like many kiwi expats I had a nagging feeling that maybe I would be better off back home, and was also starting to think about where I would retire.

After reading posts here, and reflecting generally, I decided that the UK was right for me, I got a new job and stopped visiting the site. A year or two later I discovered I was being made redundant and this time I decided that I would come home for a trial period. I still wasn't sure it was the right move. The reason I want to mention this is because I'm demonstrating that I wasn't chasing a dream, or a fantasy picture of NZ.

I rented out my house and moved to Auckland on a 3 year trial. If I hated it I could move back fairly easily.

When I moved to the UK initially it took almost 5 years before I stopped comparing it to NZ. I knew it would be the same going back and, sure enough I have done that. It hasn't taken me long to realise that I am ready to remain in NZ on a permanent basis, I have now sold my house and bought one in Auckland. I have had a trip back which confirmed to me that I was making the right choice. Sure, I miss Waitrose and M&S food hall, shopping at Boots, the BBC (although I can now access BBC iplayer) and cheap European holidays. The positives are buying a bigger house in a nicer area, less traffic and being surrounded by friendly people.

I have started my own business, which means I work from home, which means that I now have a doggy companion. As a result I meet lots of other dog owners who clearly love their dog as much as I love mine.

I have a large extended family, with children of all ages, and I don't really understand what you mean about people not caring for their children. The parents work hard to provide for their kids, they spend time with them, and they love them just as much as parents all around the world.

I do have fond memories of the time I grew up here, but most of those involve happy times with my family. To be honest, those same memories could be transplanted to many countries including the UK. I tend to find that the same things that make me happy are available both here and the UK.

It's been over three years since I came back and I don't regret it. I am however, a global citizen. I don't live in a backwater, I use the internet to keep abreast of world events, I shop overseas and access foreign media channels and I will, in due course, continue travelling but focusing more on this part of the world. I have the US, Japan, the Pacific Islands and Australia on my list of places to go.

Well, I'm sorry that this is more about me than you, but I wanted to present a different perspective. I do agree with the others, though, that for you a move back to the UK sounds like the best option.

moving2NZ2013

I think no matter where you are. If your got it set in your mind your going to hate the place, you will.
Kids are generally happier where they're parents are happier. my kids love New Zealand.
Why? I'm happier less stressed and they get more family time.
With your kids prob was rather a bad time to be moving them from all they've known.they would have started out feeling lost as they would have to try make new friends ect.
My children were 11 months and 2 when I moved out. Not been here long. They will have kiwi accents and go to school with the children met in nursery ect.so will develop friendships over time.


Yes I agree I'm pretty disgusted how a lot of people treat their animals. More of objects then a companion.it really upsets me.
I agree that a lot of people are hard faced and find it hard to break through to the softer side of people.takes time and trust, when you get through that outer shell they are hilarious!

nz has a lot of bad points but for us it's totally the right place to be.
Ask me to move to a city I'd say hell no!
I live in a very small town and love it that way

lostdirection

I doubt anyone who takes the time and effort to come here arrives intending to hate the place. But if you come with rose tinted glasses, it can be a huge let down for some people when they find NZ is nothing like the NZ portrayed at some immigration road shows. The realisation of what they have done can have enormous impact on their mental well being and result in depression. Also the self-anger they feel has to go somewhere, and can turn to hate towards everything that is NZ.

In relation to 1166, I actually agree with some of the points made as I see it every day in my line of work.

We already know 1 in 4 children live in poverty, but not as well known is the fact we also have one of the worst rates in the developed world of child death by maltreatment within the family. On average one child is killed every 5 weeks. which for a country with such a small population is unacceptable. We are also number 1 for suicide in young men and alcohol related violence in the home.

After 7 years of trying to adapt, I am leaving. NZ is just not a good fit for me. I have lost so much by coming here in terms of finance, health, and having to down grade my employment skills and experience just to fit in. I have also become a less caring person as I am tired of seeing child abuse not considered severe enough to merit any intervention. There is nothing I can do about it so I just have to suck it up.

Whether NZ is the right fit depends on personal values, employment, youth and energy, good health, and the type of social life and activities you prefer.

I'm glad for anyone who loves living here, but equally supportive towards anyone who regards it as the worst mistake they have ever made. For them it probably is.

Builder UK

Excellent post lost direction.

Happy new year everyone, where ever you spend it.

Justcol

Horses for courses i guess !!

I spent over 40 years in the UK and could say i left for all the reasons you have listed
I have found NZ to be the exact opposite of the nightmare you describe.
There are open spaces, friendly people, its clean, i can walk the streets anytime I like.
I dont give a shit about how they treat animals or other peoples kids, i dont give a toss
about politics, those who are richer than me or those who are poorer than me.
I cant be arsed to listening to those who cant settle whinge and whine away about how bad it is here.
My advice to EVERYONE is "if you dont like it shut the fvck up and leave" no one is interested in listening
to you bleating away about your misery and no one is forcing anyone to stay

Stormer999

I like it here

Justcol

Yeah, what he said !!

moving2NZ2013