escapedtonz

For sure.
It's the one thing they needed right up until they flew home and couldn't sell it for the price they wanted. He took it to the dealer that sold it him 2 years previous and they offered peanuts so I said I'll pay you the peanuts and I'll take it when you leave for the airport and he agreed so I got (at the time) a $21k car for $15k har har!

Hazelnut

Mr H and I are still in the UK but working towards moving out. One of the questions for us was how would we cope if we never saw our parents alive ever again and could only talk once a month over the phone. They don't, and will never, have smartphones or a computer so there's no chance of webcam chats or Skype. All four parents are elderly and failing and, if we make it over, they are likely to die before we can make it back again.

Picture yourself visitng your extended family and driving away knowing you'll never see them again. How you react will tell you a bit about your choice.

escapedtonz

The only thing that upset me about moving here was the potential of not seeing my mum/step dad and dad/step mum ever again.
They're all mid to late 70's and although they feel it's too far for them to visit, luckily they have computers and a smartphone so can What'sApp and Skype. It's like pulling teeth most of the time but we get by. Luckily the nephew can always swing by and sort out any issues. We kind of made sure that they knew what they were doing before we left. A laptop computer is cheap as chips in the UK so there's always the option of buying them one before you leave and showing them how to use it. You can test them on it whilst still in the UK knowing if anything goes wrong you can just swing by and talk them through it. Better option would be to get a tablet like an iPad as there's less potential of settings going wrong. It's basically press the Skype app and away you go.
It won't take long for them to get the hang of it.
Also, touch wood everyone remains healthy and we'll be heading back to see them soon.
Not looking forward to leaving again though as all the same emotions will still be there and they're not getting any younger.

dfjordan

You can call your parents without them having skype. OK it costs a minimal amount per minute to call a fixed line, but it solves your problem.

Bo-Jangles

Umm, that's some very bizarre kind of thinking - you'll find landlines work just the way they do elsewhere in the world 24/7 (most of the time) so why would you only be talking to them once a month? Or are you expecting to be so hard up that you can't afford the cost of the call?

bourbon-biscuit

Erm, BJ, the time difference!!! We actually do find this quite challenging - if everyone's working all week it can mean only weekends are do-able and of course you aren't necessarily home each morning/ evening each weekend, especially if you have kids. And then, if you have lots of family in the UK on both sides you could easily find yourself spending hours each weekend contacting people only for their experience to be that you are only in touch every few months. It is challenging.

Bo-Jangles

I don't believe anyone's life is that full on that they couldn't spare or plan a five minutes to talk to their mum on a Sunday night or morning and vice versa.

Hazelnut

For me it's mainly having two parents with dementia alongside other major, age related challenges. If we make it over we are going to be seriously hard up and I have no idea how much an NZ to UK landline phone call will be. Hopefully it will be affordable enough that I can do 20-30mins once a week, they struggle to focus for longer than that. Even with a landline I'll have to arrange to call when they have a carer there to help them manage the phone.

My mother says the internet is evil, we've tried mobile phones but she won't have one. We did buy them a laptop but she threw it in the dustbin when she couldn't make it work, she will never ask for help with anythng. Dementia is a cruel disease.

I should say the rest of my family is all with me on Facebook and we chat most days so, whilst challenging and we've had a few tears already, it's not as hard as the parent issue.

Going back to the original question we are pratty sure that moving over is a one way move for us due to logistics, our age and costs but we're both completely on board with it and have the support of our families. As a minimum I think you need to give it five years to truly know whether it's for you or not.

As someone who was moved schools a few times I also think it's a bit mean to uproot children, settle them into a new school only to uproot them again a year later.

bourbon-biscuit

If you read my post, it wasn't that I was arguing five minutes can't be found; I was saying that if you have a large family (three parent combos for us plus five close siblings with family) it can be hard because you don't chat for five minutes - we tend to be half hour minimum but usually closer to an hour - and if you have at least eight 'sets' of people you like to keep in contact with it is a challenge when everyone has busy lives.

I am going to assume that you didn't actually intend your post to sound so spiteful, BJ. Also, I don't know you but I am thinking you don't have teens ...

LauraNotts

I manage to Skype my parents (60 and 64 respectively) every week or so, sometimes more often if we're about. But then I work shifts so I can sometimes swing the awkward times.

My brother and sister and I rarely speak face to face though I try my hardest.

They're the only family I really have now. My Grandma died my first few months in NZ. I am always grateful that after years of sporadic contact and rather disinterested receptions from her I had started to send her postcards with my 'adult voice' as it were and got to hear how much she enjoyed them before she got ill. RIP Grandma.

Johnnyboyrevell

It's such a massive thing to contemplate, leaving your parents, other family and everyone your close too.
My parents would miss us horribly but still be behind our decision I think. My wife's mum would simply be horrified that we'd left, as her husband passed away earlier in her life and we're all very close. The thought of how it would affect her scares me.
The whole idea sits two ways with me. I can see the whole idea in such a positive light knowing how we're going to achieve our goal but then doubt starts to creep in and I'll see all the issues and stumbling blocks that we'll have to overcome.
If we were both behind it, it would be something to achieve with the support if each other no matter how frightening.
As it's only me that's up for it I'm not sure if I have the strength of will to drive the whole idea.
I'm not sure I'm unflinching enough in my vision.

barnsleymat

I'm just sat in Heathrow Airporton my way back having just done the same with my Dad and probably some other close family members.

It's heart breaking and it really makes you question why we live so far away. Is it all worth it? God knows but the way I'm feeling now I don't think it is. My trip back has raised more questions than answers, that being the main one.

I'll not get started on how much cheaper stuff is, not only are we living so far away from family but we're paying a massive premium to do so.

There's going to be some big decisions to be made when I get back and to make things even more complicated we're expecting our first child in December.

Snap Shot

Congratulations Matt, to you and your wife

However,

Johnnyboyrevell

All these thoughts bring me back to my original question.
Is it all worth it ??
Moving away from family and comfort and familiarity ??
To the people that have done it, what is it about NZ that makes it a nicer place to live than the UK ??
It's all subjective I know, but I'd love to hear all your opinions as I've only got a months holiday to go off.

dfjordan

I think that if you read all the posts from start to finish, you will see that it's time to take those rose tinted glasses off, and remember that you were on holiday. I read more threads from people who regret having made the move, but are now stuck because they cant afford to go home. You really must stop forgetting about yourself.