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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 8:43 am   #1
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Default think of something new....

i've been on (on indeed not on) here for a couple of years now and as with all forums the same old things are brought up over and over again. (If you are ever bored find a vw van forum and start a thread about the nice bull bars on the front of your van and see what happens )

A few examples that spring to mind on expats are:

1. NZ is pants
2. NZ is not pants

These first 2 are normally replied to with either:

1. You are a miserable sod therefore i shall point this glaringly obvious fact out to you.

2. You are far too happy and I am a miserable sod therefore I shall p*iss on your bonfire.

That covers the popular two.
The other themes that seem to circulate weekly are:

1.I have stuff already, will that stuff fit/work/explode in my face/make me the talk of the town and cause the local ladies to want to have my babies, when i get to NZ.

2. I dont have stuff, is there anything in NZ that might possibly be useful or will have to make my household appliances out of bits of twig, moss and spit.

3. I have heard that there are people who may be foreign living in NZ and i may have to interact with them. Is there a way I can avoid this, obviously i want to fit in, but only with people who are the same as me in every way. In fact can i be cloned to save me the trouble of starting conversations with smelly people.

4. I have bought a house/car/washing machine/puppy/jar of marmite/hotdog on a stick that i dont like very much. Can other people please sympathise with me and give me a hug and tell me it's not that i'm stupid, it's the locals that made me do it.

5. I am far cleverer than anyone else and feel that i need to point this out to the stupid people by telling them that they are stupid.

6. I am a better driver than anyone one else in the world. Ever.

7. I am from (insert country here) and we have things that are much better than NZ. I decided to move to NZ so that i could fulfill my lifes ambition of telling everyone in NZ how great (insert country here) is.

8. I used to live in NZ and i didnt like it. I feel i need to tell you that you wont like it either.

So your challenge dear forum user is to come up with an original thread, it should be relevant interesting and cause debate, but not have been covered before and deffo none of the examples above.

Ok so i'll start with the ideas,

How about a thread on the best sort of sofa to put on the front deck, or how come i can understand nearly everyone elses accent but no one seems to be able to understand mine?

I'm sure you will all have better ideas than mine.

Bevs can pick the winning idea.

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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 8:58 am   #2
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Default Re: think of something new....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dustybin View Post
How about a thread on the best sort of sofa to put on the front deck


Assuming you don't want to be singled out as rich or posh and without inviting the curiosity of local hoodlums, it should be a ripped old one. All the best ones I have seen, smell of mildew, have a bit of the stuffing hanging out and plenty of dubious stains on .
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:01 am   #3
 
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Default Re: think of something new....

"Relevant, interesting AND cause debate?" Have you taken a wrong turning somewhere and ended up here by mistake?
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:05 am   #4
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Default Re: think of something new....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dustybin View Post
i've been on (on indeed not on) here for a couple of years now and as with all forums the same old things are brought up over and over again. (If you are ever bored find a vw van forum and start a thread about the nice bull bars on the front of your van and see what happens )

A few examples that spring to mind on expats are:

1. NZ is pants
2. NZ is not pants

These first 2 are normally replied to with either:

1. You are a miserable sod therefore i shall point this glaringly obvious fact out to you.

2. You are far too happy and I am a miserable sod therefore I shall p*iss on your bonfire.

That covers the popular two.
The other themes that seem to circulate weekly are:

1.I have stuff already, will that stuff fit/work/explode in my face/make me the talk of the town and cause the local ladies to want to have my babies, when i get to NZ.

2. I dont have stuff, is there anything in NZ that might possibly be useful or will have to make my household appliances out of bits of twig, moss and spit.

3. I have heard that there are people who may be foreign living in NZ and i may have to interact with them. Is there a way I can avoid this, obviously i want to fit in, but only with people who are the same as me in every way. In fact can i be cloned to save me the trouble of starting conversations with smelly people.

4. I have bought a house/car/washing machine/puppy/jar of marmite/hotdog on a stick that i dont like very much. Can other people please sympathise with me and give me a hug and tell me it's not that i'm stupid, it's the locals that made me do it.

5. I am far cleverer than anyone else and feel that i need to point this out to the stupid people by telling them that they are stupid.

6. I am a better driver than anyone one else in the world. Ever.

7. I am from (insert country here) and we have things that are much better than NZ. I decided to move to NZ so that i could fulfill my lifes ambition of telling everyone in NZ how great (insert country here) is.

8. I used to live in NZ and i didnt like it. I feel i need to tell you that you wont like it either.

So your challenge dear forum user is to come up with an original thread, it should be relevant interesting and cause debate, but not have been covered before and deffo none of the examples above.

Ok so i'll start with the ideas,

How about a thread on the best sort of sofa to put on the front deck, or how come i can understand nearly everyone elses accent but no one seems to be able to understand mine?

I'm sure you will all have better ideas than mine.

Bevs can pick the winning idea.

I totally agree, and am ashamed to say I am guilty of some of those myself.
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:10 am   #5
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Default Re: think of something new....

You missed the good old currency discussions.... shall I buy Kiwi Dollars now or wait till the rate gets to the magic 3 dollars to the pound?

Or how about, NZIS don't know what they are talking about - my qualifications are far superior to anything NZ has to offer academically, and they can't tell me I don't have enough points to get a visa.

I can't think of anything new that hasn't been discussed hundreds of times before. Maybe, like the Magic Roundabout, when it comes round again, it's time to get off
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:14 am   #6
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Default Re: think of something new....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Am Loolah View Post
"Relevant, interesting AND cause debate?" Have you taken a wrong turning somewhere and ended up here by mistake?
its like watching the chickens overnight on big brother, pointless and yet difficult to stop doing...
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:16 am   #7
 
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Default Re: think of something new....

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Originally Posted by Dustybin View Post
its like watching the chickens overnight on big brother, pointless and yet difficult to stop doing...
Brilliant!!!! Karma for you!!
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:18 am   #8
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Default Re: think of something new....

I haven't laughed so much in ages Dustybin ! You are so right ! Where do I buy a hotdog on a stick ? BTW are you joining us for coffee tomorrow ? In fact, that's my idea for an original discussion thread: Where do I buy a hot dog on a stick ? (My husband has just kiboshed this thread already by telling me it's a battered sausage on a stick) Oh, well I tried to think of something. Oh come on BE is moaners' corner !

Last edited by Debbie2NZ; Jun 22nd 2011 at 9:21 am. Reason: Thought of something else
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:20 am   #9
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Default Re: think of something new....

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Originally Posted by Am Loolah View Post
Brilliant!!!! Karma for you!!
seeing as i am in christchurch i feel that currently my Karma is the red.. must try and remember what i did to upset it..
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 9:26 am   #10
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Default Re: think of something new....

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Originally Posted by Debbi**** View Post
I haven't laughed so much in ages Dustybin ! You are so right ! Where do I buy a hotdog on a stick ? BTW are you joining us for coffee tomorrow ? In fact, that's my idea for an original discussion thread: Where do I buy a hot dog on a stick ? (My husband has just kiboshed this thread already by telling me it's a battered sausage on a stick) Oh, well I tried to think of something. Oh come on BE is moaners' corner !
battered or no it is still a 'hotdog'.

as for coffee thanks for the offer but work always gets in the way...
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 11:07 am   #11
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Default Re: think of something new....

8. I used to live in NZ and i didnt like it. I feel i need to tell you that you wont like it either.

Classic......
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 4:54 pm   #12
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Default Re: think of something new....

[QUOTE=cappuccino;9449046]You missed the good old currency discussions.... shall I buy Kiwi Dollars now or wait till the rate gets to the magic 3 dollars to the pound?

Or how about, NZIS don't know what they are talking about - my qualifications are far superior to anything NZ has to offer academically, and they can't tell me I don't have enough points to get a visa.

Well my qualifications are - so much so that my registration board in NZ is working with officials to change legislation to help get me out there. So there.

Like point 8 though!
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 8:35 pm   #13
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Default Re: think of something new....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dustybin View Post
How about a thread on the best sort of sofa to put on the front deck,
The best one i have seen and still like is the sofa on Blenheim Road (Just at Annex Road) the sofa sits on the garage with the sign under it "toot and we drink" still makes me smile
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Old Jun 22nd 2011, 10:08 pm   #14
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Default Re: think of something new....

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Originally Posted by alanmacc View Post
The best one i have seen and still like is the sofa on Blenheim Road (Just at Annex Road) the sofa sits on the garage with the sign under it "toot and we drink" still makes me smile
I know it well...
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Old Jun 23rd 2011, 12:16 am   #15
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Default Re: think of something new....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dustybin View Post
Bevs can pick the winning idea.


I can smell overheated idea making brain cells from here.
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