Moving
Jul 3rd 2019, 9:16 pm
#1
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Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 4
Moving
Hi there, apologies for the long post! Basically, I'm a British nurse as is my wife, we have two small children. After the EU referendum my wife said she wanted to look at leaving the UK, after research it turned out NZ was the country we qualified most for. Unfortunately, she completely changed her mind a few months later and now says she's no intention of even leaving Yorkshire. It's devastating for me as I'd my heart set on at least trying, but she won't be shifted. Has anyone else come across this? What can I do? The other issue is our daughter was born with glaucoma and has mild developmental delay (not intellectual disabilities). She sees opthalmology and optometry every six months and has speech and language, OT and a visual impairment team involved with her and they think she'll need cane training for moving around. Would they refuse us on medical issues due to this anyway? Apologies for the ramble!
Jul 3rd 2019, 10:02 pm
#2
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Posts: 34,033
Re: Moving
Did you follow the advice given in your previous thread on the same subject and try and get her to NZ for a holiday? If so, what did she think of the country?
With your daughters medical issues (no idea if they would cause your visa app to be refused, others will advise on that), then it sounds as if her support network would be particularly important.
With your daughters medical issues (no idea if they would cause your visa app to be refused, others will advise on that), then it sounds as if her support network would be particularly important.
Last edited by christmasoompa; Jul 3rd 2019 at 10:04 pm.
Jul 3rd 2019, 11:17 pm
#3
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 4
Re: Moving
Did you follow the advice given in your previous thread on the same subject and try and get her to NZ for a holiday? If so, what did she think of the country?
With your daughters medical issues (no idea if they would cause your visa app to be refused, others will advise on that), then it sounds as if her support network would be particularly important.
With your daughters medical issues (no idea if they would cause your visa app to be refused, others will advise on that), then it sounds as if her support network would be particularly important.
Jul 4th 2019, 12:53 am
#4
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Moving
Well then it looks as if you have a decision to make - wife and daughter in UK or NZ. No amount of cajoling will make someone happy in a place they don't want to be. Your wife has been pretty clear that she's not interested in moving overseas, and it's extremely unlikely you'll be able to take your daughter without your wife, so now the choice is yours.
Jul 4th 2019, 1:12 am
#5
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: Moving
Hi there, apologies for the long post! Basically, I'm a British nurse as is my wife, we have two small children.
After the EU referendum my wife said she wanted to look at leaving the UK, after research it turned out NZ was the country we qualified most for. Unfortunately, she completely changed her mind a few months later and now says she's no intention of even leaving Yorkshire. It's devastating for me as I'd my heart set on at least trying, but she won't be shifted. Has anyone else come across this? What can I do?
After the EU referendum my wife said she wanted to look at leaving the UK, after research it turned out NZ was the country we qualified most for. Unfortunately, she completely changed her mind a few months later and now says she's no intention of even leaving Yorkshire. It's devastating for me as I'd my heart set on at least trying, but she won't be shifted. Has anyone else come across this? What can I do?
The other issue is our daughter was born with glaucoma and has mild developmental delay (not intellectual disabilities). She sees opthalmology and optometry every six months and has speech and language, OT and a visual impairment team involved with her and they think she'll need cane training for moving around. Would they refuse us on medical issues due to this anyway? Apologies for the ramble!
Originally Posted by NZ Immigration operations manual
A4.10.1 Medical conditions deemed to impose significant costs and/or demands on New Zealand's health and/or education services
- Severe vision impairment with visual acuity of 6/36 or beyond after best possible correction at country of origin, or a loss restricting the field of vision to 15-20 degrees where significant support is required
My suggestion is that you adjust your mindset away from devastated and maybe find something new and interesting to do or engage you. In the years to come this world will still be here and with time comes change. In the future your wife and your children may feel more open to exploring change. Until then , be patient.
I hope your daughter gets all the help and support she needs & that she makes progress towards what is achievable for her.
Jul 4th 2019, 4:11 am
#6
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Joined: Jul 2007
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Posts: 4,533
Re: Moving
If she ain't for moving, let it go
The divorce rate for unhappy expats in NZ must be sky high. I know 6 couples who have all split and divorced since coming over.
The divorce rate for unhappy expats in NZ must be sky high. I know 6 couples who have all split and divorced since coming over.
Last edited by Justcol; Jul 4th 2019 at 4:16 am.
Jul 4th 2019, 7:42 am
#7
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Moving
Same in Australia. The majority of the couples I know who emigrated have had either split or major problems. Especially if one is less happy with the decision to move here or if there's kids involved.
