sazzle1979

Afternoon All,

A thought sprung to me today whilst I was thinking of friends and family back home.

Has anyone struggled to hear from friends and family after you moved?
We have spoken to a few expats that, like us, can go for months without hearing a peep.

People have lives to live and we are not there anymore so not at the forefront of peoples minds, I understand that.

But i wondered if anyone else struggled to hear from people.

I don't think anyone has spontaneously called or emailed us since we got here, it is always down to us to instigate.

Would love to hear your thoughts

Thanks

snaps

I think calling is always going to be an issue, due to the time difference. Less Christmas cards for sure, but then we also reduced the number sent, when back in the UK on visits it is as if we still lived there and just around the corner.

MrsFychan

well nothing has changed for them, we left their day to day lives so I feel it is down to those that move to make the effort, if they want to.

Pom_Chch

Some people are very much out of sight out of mind. You learn that when you emigrate!

I truly believe that if you want to stay in touch with people then you will. I stay in touch with my two best friends because we are all interested in what's going on in each others lives. It isn't a chore or a huge effort if you genuinely want to speak to them. That has to be a mutual feeling and the issues start when it becomes one sided and there's more disinterest from one person. That has happened with some of our family members, although I don't think moving to NZ has affected that as they were the same in the UK.

snaps

I just called a family member in the UK from Skype to be advised 'Can I ring you in the morning as I'm in bed'. I just expect this now and usually try to call at weekends. When they call me, I'm usually repeating the same words back to them.

BEVS

We're still very much in touch with our family and friends through assorted methods & they us. Mind you, we've all known each other for many years ( decades) so the connections made during those shared times remain strong. Time and distance won't ever lessen that .

We don't expect to here from folk all the time or even regularly and in any case that would do our heads in. We've a life to live and can't just be forever catching up with someone. Same vice versa. So, I suppose we all kinda carry on as we did before we moved to NZ, minus the physical meet ups .

Persephone

I stay in touch via email and facebook. Must admit I don't speak to friends very often [if at all] but that would be the same if I was in the UK. We either speak face to face or email, just the way we are with each other.

I was back in the UK last year for an extended period and met up with all those who I stay in contact with, it was like I'd never left, we got on exactly the same as if the last time we'd seen each other was the week before.

Back in NZ now and we still never phone each other

Bo-Jangles

It's also a sign of the times I think, I do maintain regular contact with those that matter most but all too often I'm the last to know and have learned of major family events via Facebook as they unfold. Nobody though to tell us that blah blah was getting married, having a baby etc.


Then of course we have the ones that are over sharing the minute detail of what they had for breakfast, here's me making a cake, leaving the house now, getting in the car (selfie), picture of my lunch, reached my destination (link to place) ad infinitum day after day that they forgot how to have a real conversation and don't feel the need to maintain any 'real' contact.

BEVS

Yes. On reflection that is also true. I had to learn of two people I really cared for and loved had passed away months after it had happened. Neither were old.

I suppose it was that those folk on that front line were not that connected to me and may not have realised how close we were. In one case it was a bestie friend. In another case it was an aunt just 8 yrs older than me.

escapedtonz

Yeah for sure.
Goes for family and friends.
Feel I have to keep up with making contact as if I gave up I'd never hear from them again. I think a lot of it is to do with Facebook as in general everybody plasters their lives on it so all friends and family can see what's going on so in a nut shell they feel they are still part of your life and know what is going on without the need to actually speak to you and the same goes the other way with us seeing their lives on Facebook etc.
Do quite often just pick up the phone and call home to surprise friends and relatives.
We're also going back in 20 something sleeps for 3 weeks so having lots of contact at the moment making plans to meet up with everyone when we're back.