jmh

Some very good points.

To the OP: Life never works quite the way we want it to. If you look around this forum many have had disasters and catastrophes that they worked through and on the other side they are content. From marriage break ups, lost savings/pensions and natural disasters like earthquakes. Sometimes it gets hard - sometimes it's just life's way of telling you that something isn't right.

ReturningKiwi14

Oh I've just read this and feel for you.

My advice is breathe... Take some time out. It probably is not as bad as it seems! The Auckland housing market is just bonkers and everyone admits that.

I have mates who returned to NZ from years in the UK and they couldn't buy. one a born and bred Auckalnder... They couldn't believe they'd finally come home to NZ and couldn't afford to buy! Years in the uk and priced out at home. They struggled a lot with renting - the concept of not owning - as that was one of their reasons coming home, settle down yada yada, and they are a tad older than you.

Not to mention the family queries .....

So... It's a house. Enjoy NOT having to maintain it, enjoy NOT having the issues with updating things and insuring things and rates and all that stuff. Enjoy the freedom renting is giving you while you focus on other things.

You have the business, you are busy... And you've a few things to think about regarding the long term relationship too..... Whether this is actually a reflection of the pressure you (you both?) feel under or is actually something major only you can know

Just be gentle on yourself. There's no right or must have..... It's about you and things right for you.

And sometimes good stuff comes from hard times...

Chin up and again... Be gentle on yourself because you are doing great. And shame on the financial adviser sod who broadcast your query (rhymes with 'banker')
(Ps Wellington or elsewhere not a go-er then?)

A4Ron

This, this, this.

Op, you are by no means a failure. You own a business that you're passionate about - that in itself is a huge achievement! Easier said than done, but try to block out the negativity and focus on what you DO have in life, rather than what you don't have yet.

If I was in your position I'd definitely old fire on buying an apartment, given that another global recession is coming within the next year. Property prices are going to drop eventually, it's inevitable and the warning signs are there already. Why risk negative equity trying to rush onto the property market when you can carry on saving for a bit longer... you're still young in the grand scheme of things

Best wishes, you will get there

Angeshirl

To the last two post, thank you. Thank you so much.
I honestly feel like I'm going crazy with this. I have worked so hard to get where I am in my career and I never thought about everything going on around it until now. I thought I had just done everything wrong and messed it all up.
I have so much shame about not owning a house too. It's not good and the journalist who humiliated me online has triggered feelings of failure too.
Thank you. Thanks for helping me.

LittleGreyCat

There is no shame in not owning a house. It is unkind to suggest it, as well.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you have a constant feeling of failure when there is absolutely no reason, you probably need to address this directly. Have you talked to your Doctor about this? Plenty of people suffer from depression and there is no shame in this. Professional help can make an enormous difference.

Lisa Maree

Life is messy business.

If you'd like a wee story to help with perspective I'm happy to help out... 15yrs ago my boyfriend and I built a house from scratch in Auckland, it was easy... too easy... we got a bit bored... lets sell up and have a few years in the UK we said... sold that place for $350k... never got back on the property ladder... that place is now worth $700k.

Fast forward a few years later and I was leaving a job in the UK, was offered share options but didn't have the £5k needed... two years later they went public and all my old colleagues became millionaires.

We are now 40, have two children, never got back on the property ladder, ready to come home and settle down now and just look at those house prices, we have a good deposit but not fantastic, if we'd kept that first house we'd be mortgage free on a $700k property by now instead we are starting from scratch.

I'm scared to bits moving back to NZ will be the third nail in our financial coffin.

Fun times!

If I dwell on it I get myself all worked up but at the end of the day it doesn't change all the good things that have happened over the past 15yrs, the experiences, the people I've met all over the world, the crazy amazing children we now have, the strong and healthy relationship with my husband (boyfriend from the beginning of my saga). Not having a home of our own doesn't make me a failure or less than anyone else, its just the by product of a messy set of circumstances that make up the nitty gritty of my life... and if that's the worst that ever happens to me I would count myself as blessed. A good friend of mine, who did have the share options, did become a millionaire, owned her £650k home outright at 35yrs old has said she'd give ANYTHING for her miscarried babies and her mother to be alive.

I get the regret and frustration side of things, I really really do, but don't let it take you into a dark spiral, look for the positive and be grateful you are not looking down the barrel of negative equity!

Woodlea