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Do NOT live in New Zealand

Do NOT live in New Zealand

Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:00 am
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Default Do NOT live in New Zealand

I'd just like to warn anyone thinking of coming to New Zealand to live. Why? Let me explain to you exactly why you would be making a huge mistake coming to this shit hole.

Kiwis are the most boring, backward, insular minded, thick as shit, humorless tossers I have ever had the misfortune of conversing with. Crack a joke about New Zealand or take the piss in any way, especially slagging off the all blacks, and they will take it very personally. I have never once, in my 6 years in this hell hole, had a decent conversation with a kiwi. Thank god I met a fellow Englishman who shared the same feelings as me and has an amazing sense of humour. (As us poms do.)

New Zealand is an absolute rip off. Not only are you constantly being ripped off, but the things you pay for are utter rubbish. The food is abysmal here. THe Chinese take aways etc are GARBAGE. Shit shit and SHIT. You are paying through your arse for sub standard quality. Also, anything electronic you might buy from a shop like Harvey Norman or Bond and Bond will most likely falter after a short while leaving you gobsmacked at paying the rip off prices and having to go through the hassle of getting the warranty to fix it after such a short period.

You can look forward to seeing mental thick as shit islanders with a chip on their shoulders acting like gangsters and hating on pakeha (whites).

Drivers here are absolute cretins. Be prepared to experience wankers up your arse and over taking full speed in pouring rain and indicating at the last minute. They also love to pull out infront of you then crawl at a snails pace.

Houses here seem to be made of ****ing plywood or cardboard. THey are terrible. Even in winter ive seen kiwis have several windows open in the house and most kiwi homes ive been into are bloody ice boxes.

Wages here are shit too. Forget about being a skilled migrant nad being more than over qualified for a job but having some slack jawed prick with zero skills be your boss because they are related to the company owner. You overseas qualification count for diddly squat here. Its who you know around here.

NEVER, EVER live in Christchurch if you really have to come and live in New Zealand. It was shite before the earthquakes, now its a cemetery with lights.

"Why dont you **** off back to England then, you whinging pom!!??" I get told countless times by self rightous, patriotic kiwis. Oh how id love to, but i have a 5 year old son here that makes it hard for me to leave him here and not have my care and attention and influence.

A little about me-I'm 28, English, obviously from England, ive been in NZ for 6 ish or so years, i came to see my family out here when they emigrated. I met a kiwi woman, we were together for a while, we had a son together, and it was a big mistake. Not my son, but having a child with a kiwi. UGH.

I will be going back to England next year to live for a while as ive had it with New Zealand. Its the arsehole of the 'civilized' world.

I hate kiwis with a passion. And I hate New Zealand. UK is a shit hole too but at least i have mates and people i can RELATE to over there, and theres always something to do, and i can have a laugh, and eat decent food.

I strongly advise anyone thinking of coming here to think twice, you will regret it.

I'm sure ill get lots of replies from kiwis getting all defensive about new zealand. But theres nothing to defend. NZ is a shithole, and 'scenery' just doesnt cut it after a while.

The usual responses i get from kiwi dullards are 'harden the **** up' or '**** off back to england".

So, if you want to come to New Zealand, and end up as a miserable, depressed as **** individual, lose money you put into this dump, and be on the verge of losing your sanity, by all means, come to new zealand.

I've travelled all over new zealand, lived in wellington and auckland, then christchurch. Its all shite.

Before i came here, i was a happy go lucky guy, full of life etc. THis country has sucked my soul dry.

Its a dead end country full of simpletons. I can not wait to get back to England and kiss the ground. I will never take it for granted again.

Last edited by English Madman; Jul 11th 2013 at 3:05 am.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:03 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Troll. I thought these posts were moderated.

Think you better go now. England needs another potty mouth with an attitude problem.

I've said before I'm not New Zealand's biggest fan but I'm prepared to be grown up about it.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:06 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Originally Posted by Snap Shot
Troll. I thought these posts were moderated.

Think you better go now. England needs another potty mouth with an attitude problem.

I've said before I'm not New Zealand's biggest fan but I'm prepared to be grown up about it.
Hello. I am not a 'troll'. I notice idiots like you call people this when you disagree with their point of view. Its ok. I know you Kiwi losers are prudes and cant handle the slightest bit of criticism. And as for attitude problem, mine has definitely been altered since being in your beloved bullshit fed country where everything is 'clean and green' but have a high case of child abuse and sucide rates. Your government doesn't include that at the Immigration NZ centers tho do they?

Last edited by English Madman; Jul 11th 2013 at 3:09 am.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:13 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Your government doesn't include that at the Immigration NZ centers tho do they?
Nor the 1st class driving standards or well insulated housing.

You sound like you've had one too many bad days madman, maybe go have an overpriced beer?
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:19 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Reading the above, reminds me of Bob Muldoon's remark about Kiwis moving to Australia (with a slight modification).

When this guy moves back to the UK (and it can't be soon enough) it should raise the IQ here but God knows what it will plummet to in the UK.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:22 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Some pretty good points made a bit angrily.

It's good to get it off yer chest though.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:25 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Oh joy.

I see that Expats Exposed has now been shut down, so all the lunatics have been let out of the asylum.

Where's your girlfriend Lantana?
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:34 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Expats Exposed
Although the language is somewhat industrial, I think its fair to make points good/bad/indifferent about emigrating over here. I've experienced plenty of the negatives that this guy talks about, but so far my 20 months over here has been very good.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:36 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Originally Posted by English Madman
Be prepared to experience wankers up your arse......
*snigger*
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 3:40 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Might be a bit of a rant but the poster is bang on about the utterly shit standards of driving!

I also agree about the electronic shops. Good thing about free markets . Apple products, buy from Apple shop in England and get it delivered etc

You should include the prices of Whiskey!!!!

But this country doesn't have the Blairs which is the one positive that'll always outweigh the negatives of NZ
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 4:03 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Originally Posted by English Madman
Hello. I am not a 'troll'. I notice idiots like you call people this when you disagree with their point of view. Its ok. I know you Kiwi losers are prudes and cant handle the slightest bit of criticism. And as for attitude problem, mine has definitely been altered since being in your beloved bullshit fed country where everything is 'clean and green' but have a high case of child abuse and sucide rates. Your government doesn't include that at the Immigration NZ centers tho do they?
Best go home and leave your child fatherless then. That'll help the social situation in NZ won't it ? Y'know, another single parent family, another absent father. That's your leaving gift to NZ is it ? You walk away because you can. Can the child's mother just walk out of parental responsibility like that and clear off to Europe ? No, didn't think so.

Suicide and child abuse are prevalent in Britain as well. But, no doubt you'll call me an idiot about that too. Despite the fact that I worked in Childrens Services in Britain for four years prior to emigrating to NZ.

Last edited by Snap Shot; Jul 11th 2013 at 4:07 am.
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 4:14 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

Wham!!

Quite sad and hilarious at the same time.

A lot of what you say is pretty accurate; chilly homes, poor driving standards, working for people who have authority because of who they know, and Kiwi's with a different sense of humour - I suppose I'm as qualified as anyone to agree with this. I married one!!

Strongly worded, but you did name yourself Madman, so I'm not surprised.

I sometimes wonder where calling Pacific Islanders this as shit, gets you? There are plenty of white kids cruising around thinking they own the place too. Not every PI is thick, just like not every Pakeha is thick.

I know you're mad, but getting personal isn't cool. Perhaps you'll have a problem with the Eastern Europeans with little or no language skills back in Blighty who are taking a lot of jobs?
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Old Jul 11th 2013, 4:15 am
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Default Re: Do NOT live in New Zealand

I'm all for sharing positives and negatives, but solely joining an online forum to swear and use derogative language to stir up members is not on.

The OP has left the building, therefore I'm putting this thread to bed.
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