Nicola55

Hello everyone,

I have just joined this group as I'm moving to Utrecht in the next few months.
In short I have a Dutch boyfriend who I have lived with in central London for almost 2 years. Unfortunately earlier this year he was made redundant and after many a discussion we decided to move to Holland for the quality of life, to settle down and have children. We both agree that having children in London isn't the nicest of upbringings due to the noise, pace of life and general logistics of the city.
We are both in our mid 30's and I guess we are life planning!
So ..OH left London at the end of September to start a new finance career in Holland. He has a 2 month probation period which ends in November and we plan to buy a house after this is complete. Currently he's living with his parents and I'm obviously in London until mid Feb at the latest.
However I am having an incredibly hard time getting my head around this move.
Im giving up my job, my home, my independence,my friends, my language and my comfort zone to be thrown completely into the unknown! I am in a slight panic to say the least.
I speak no Dutch, I don't have a specific skill to bring and I want to be independent until we at least have children. I need to work for my own sanity!
OH can support us both and there isn't an urgency on my finding work but having read some of the comments on this site I'm incredibly worried about me not intergrating.
I have lived abroad before, mainly Switzerland and started to pick up conversational French after a few years. Im degree educated so I'm capable of learning another language I'm just not sure I'm dedicated enough to admit I will put 100% into it.
My professional background is in recruitment sales and most recently nanny/PA work.
When I left for Switzerland I fell into working for high net worth families as their nannies/chalet managers/PA's. I've stayed in this line of work because the money is very good and I currently work as a family PA/ nanny for 1 family in London. I'm fully aware that the Dutch don't have nannies as such so I'm not sure this is transferable. I get a slight bit of hope that perhaps since I work for private families in their homes that perhaps a family who want more english spoken in the house would potentially employ me.
I'm slightly stuck on where to go and how to approach sending out my CV. Most of my roles are through private connections or childcare specific agencies but I feel embarrassed to say I don't speak Dutch. I know the language barrier is a big problem.
Does anyone have any advice or groups/suggestions that may help me.
The alternative to me not moving to holland is that I break up my relationship - I don't want to do this, therefore I need to make this work somehow.
Many thanks in advance for any help!

Cynic

Hi Nicola,

If you've never lived in Holland before, my advice would be to go and try it as a tourist first; some people like it, others hate it. Generally, employment in Holland is not as good as it is in London; if you don't have any key skills they are looking for, then you will struggle. If you don't speak Dutch, then it will be very difficult (I'd say impossible); language is very important, while many Dutch people speak English, everything around you is in Dutch. There are Dutch agencies looking for workers, I'd try registering with one of them, then give them a call to get there view on the likelihood of you finding work.

As an EU citizen, you have the right to live and work in Holland, however, if you're staying for more than 4 months, you'll have to register at the Town Hall in order to get a BSN number; you won't be allowed to register until you have a permanent address. Without a BSN number, you won't be able to open a bank account, register at the tax office, doctors or even register your car.

One other important thing to remember is Health Insurance; you can't use the EU emergency system (E111) if you are resident in Holland, you will have to take out Health Insurance (circa €150 p/month for Doctor/Dentist).

Probably not what you want to hear, sorry.

Cynic

One other thing that I've come across recently; tax. There is a double-taxation agreement between the UK and Holland; which generally means that anything you've earned and paid tax on in the UK, will not be taxed again in Holland. However, Dutch tax is structured differently to the UK (actual income tax is very low), but there are additional taxes and funds you have to contribute to in Holland, which mean that in general, you are taxed at a higher rate in Holland than the UK. Any income you received in the UK in the 12-months prior to you moving to Holland can be subject to Dutch taxes (generally, anything which is taxed in Holland, but not the UK). Keep all your payslips.

I'd advise you to speak to a tax consultant in your first year of living there.

scot47

Is this a wind-up ? A troll ?

Cynic

LOL

Red_Wine_Fairy

I'm going to surprise you - there is some demand for nannies here. I've worked with expats who use them (expats are where you will get the full time hours, as many local women work 3 days a week due to the schools shut early on Wednesday and often Friday). I see requests quite frequently for live-out nannies on various expat social media, and I think that if you advertise once you're here that you will be snapped up by a family who appreciates the benefits of raising a bi-lingual child (even if both parents are Dutch).

Even if your heart is not in it, use the free resources out there to get a basic grounding in the language as it takes a while.

As your man can support you, I'd say go for it - if you don't try it, then you will always be wondering 'what if?'. If it doesn't work out for you, then perhaps once his career is established, England will be an option again I'm sure there are plenty of nice areas to raise children outside London centre, and there are other cities where finance roles exist (including beautiful Scotland). If you do try it, and you like it, and you realise what a great place this is to raise children... your leap of faith will have paid off!

It's just an hour's flight away from your friends and family, and Skype is free

*Edit* I just read this, and I think you might enjoy reading it http://sundaebean.com/2015/11/02/lov...tional-couple/

I know plenty of women who moved from there to here to be with their man and haven't looked back after 20+ years. If you want it enough - and you must have a gut feeling after being together for the last 2 years - and have the inner strength to get you past the culture shock, you can do it. I would say that his family and how the accept you into their lives will be a significant factor, and so if you haven't met the parents and siblings yet, do it before making any final decision.

GeniB

Hi Nicola It's natural to be apprehensive about such a big move and complete change in your life style. You have the advantage of being a well educated modern young woman with some skills which as Red Wine Fairy says could well be in demand these days.(not so when I moved to NL 30+ yrs ago. I was charmingly referred to as a Trailing Spouse very apt at the time) You must however be pro-active during the next few months..starting with taking an online Dutch course ,(you can get one to one tutors for a fee on SKYPE) ASK ASK ASK.Start with the International Womens Club of Utrecht, and others . Check out people like footballers/Clubs who might need nannies who speak English (my friend became one in NL and then travelled back to the UK with the family when he (footballer) joined Man U..) Its not impossible if you let people know your looking.just do it now.Good Luck