Where to start..........?
Sep 4th 2003, 12:10 am
#16
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Birmingham, USA
Posts: 802
Originally posted by Terry A.
When the child is adopted things are just a little different, I believe.
She would not automatically become a US citizen, the laws seem to differ slightly for adopted children .
That $310 is actually over $500 (just for me), and when every penny counts that could be the difference between a plane ticket to freedom, or being stuck in a terrible situation.
Unless you have been in that situation, I can entirely understand your not comprehending how dire it can be.
Nobody is doubting that duel nationality wouldn't be advantageous, it would.
As far as me losing my status should I leave the US for more than six months, that's highly unlikely now, as it's obvious that I must remain here or give up custody of my daughter. So no worries there.
Now that I must remain in the US, I will be applying for US citizenship, when I can afford it, as that $500 + must somehow be accounted for to my husband. You see in some cases it's not as straight forward as applying and sending in your checks. If he knows that I've applied for citizenship he'll get suspicious that I'm planing to leave, that I'm up to something.So I must hoard extra money, which will take a few months, if I'm not to make it obvious.
Once I obtain my citizenship, I will then be free to apply for my daughter.
When the child is adopted things are just a little different, I believe.
She would not automatically become a US citizen, the laws seem to differ slightly for adopted children .
That $310 is actually over $500 (just for me), and when every penny counts that could be the difference between a plane ticket to freedom, or being stuck in a terrible situation.
Unless you have been in that situation, I can entirely understand your not comprehending how dire it can be.
Nobody is doubting that duel nationality wouldn't be advantageous, it would.
As far as me losing my status should I leave the US for more than six months, that's highly unlikely now, as it's obvious that I must remain here or give up custody of my daughter. So no worries there.
Now that I must remain in the US, I will be applying for US citizenship, when I can afford it, as that $500 + must somehow be accounted for to my husband. You see in some cases it's not as straight forward as applying and sending in your checks. If he knows that I've applied for citizenship he'll get suspicious that I'm planing to leave, that I'm up to something.So I must hoard extra money, which will take a few months, if I'm not to make it obvious.
Once I obtain my citizenship, I will then be free to apply for my daughter.
You know there is a fee waiver application/program. I'm sure the BCIS would be interested to hear you are being abused by your USC spouse as that is taken into great consideration in cases just such as yours. Really look into it. Unfortunately, the BCIS government website is down at the time of this post so I'm not able to look it up.
The fee is also waived in hardship cases (if you can't come up with the money).
Last edited by jaytee; Sep 4th 2003 at 12:13 am.
Sep 4th 2003, 4:24 am
#17
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 11
Thanks for the info, I do appreciate it really.
Unfortunately I can't look into it.
IF my husband gets wind that I'm going to file for divorce or doing anything behind his back, (and surely they would investigate any accusations of abuse alerting him to my complaint) , it will ruin everything.
You see I'm not in a position to support my daughter at this time. So he would easily end up getting custody, only to spite me as he has never shown interest in her. I can't allow that to happen. It is that very real threat that is holding me back. Or I would have left years ago, I will not lose my daughter.
I have these two years to try and make something of my life, so that I will be in a position to divorce him and claim what is rightfully mine and my daughters. A portion of his pension and child support.
I've been through way too much these past 13 years to allow him to get off scot free.
IF he realizes that I'm going to divorce him he will waste away our money, and freeze me from any access to it.
The VA would claim a portion of his pension (as he would force us to foreclose on our house) leaving little for me.
This is a man who will go out of his way to ensure that I get as little as possible or nothing. Even if it means cutting off his own nose to spite his face.
So I must stay, save, keep my mouth shut, take some courses to improve my chances of getting a decent job. Make sure before I file that the money I've saved is in a place he can't get to it. The court can order it divided equally and that's fine. At least there will be something to divide.
There are pros and cons to contacting agencies to help, while it may prove a short term solution. In the long term more harm may become of it than good, in my case.
While I'm stuck in a shelter or such, he would ruin our credit scores, increase our debt and gain custody of our daughter.
He would be in charge as he would know that I intend to divorce him. The day he found out, not one more cent would I ever see from him, this I know for sure. The house would go into foreclosure, instead of being sold and the proceeds divided. There would be no money to divide, no pension and I would still have no education and no job. Therefore I would still be unable to support my daughter.
So I must stick to my plan and get myself into the best position possible. Hire an attorney and make sure that we get him by surprise, off guard so he can't do too much damage. As we will have anticipated his actions and taken our own to safeguard against his, where possible!
So that's my next course of action, talk to an attorney. Then try and get through these next two years.
He has taken away years of my life, the emotional abuse I've suffered has been beyond belief and too much to discuss here, or even reveal to strangers. The effect it has had on me over the past few years, well it crippled me, I became so depressed. It left me almost completely out of touch with reality.
It's a small miracle that I managed to persuade him that we buy this house and that he join us when he retires. You see there is no Naval base in Arizona, so he can't join us here until he retires. This gives me this one chance to make something of my life.
Anyway once again I'm rambling.
The advise I've received from you and the others who replied has been invaluable, it really has. And has helped give me the resolve to go on with my plan.
I am strong, he very nearly succeeded in pulling me totally down, but not quite
I think it's time to move this away from this board now, as I'm just rambling on OT!
I need to find a "going through a divorce" message board, or something similar.
I will become a US citizen before I file for divorce. Thank-you for pointing out how important that really is.
Unfortunately I can't look into it.
IF my husband gets wind that I'm going to file for divorce or doing anything behind his back, (and surely they would investigate any accusations of abuse alerting him to my complaint) , it will ruin everything.
You see I'm not in a position to support my daughter at this time. So he would easily end up getting custody, only to spite me as he has never shown interest in her. I can't allow that to happen. It is that very real threat that is holding me back. Or I would have left years ago, I will not lose my daughter.
I have these two years to try and make something of my life, so that I will be in a position to divorce him and claim what is rightfully mine and my daughters. A portion of his pension and child support.
I've been through way too much these past 13 years to allow him to get off scot free.
IF he realizes that I'm going to divorce him he will waste away our money, and freeze me from any access to it.
The VA would claim a portion of his pension (as he would force us to foreclose on our house) leaving little for me.
This is a man who will go out of his way to ensure that I get as little as possible or nothing. Even if it means cutting off his own nose to spite his face.
So I must stay, save, keep my mouth shut, take some courses to improve my chances of getting a decent job. Make sure before I file that the money I've saved is in a place he can't get to it. The court can order it divided equally and that's fine. At least there will be something to divide.
There are pros and cons to contacting agencies to help, while it may prove a short term solution. In the long term more harm may become of it than good, in my case.
While I'm stuck in a shelter or such, he would ruin our credit scores, increase our debt and gain custody of our daughter.
He would be in charge as he would know that I intend to divorce him. The day he found out, not one more cent would I ever see from him, this I know for sure. The house would go into foreclosure, instead of being sold and the proceeds divided. There would be no money to divide, no pension and I would still have no education and no job. Therefore I would still be unable to support my daughter.
So I must stick to my plan and get myself into the best position possible. Hire an attorney and make sure that we get him by surprise, off guard so he can't do too much damage. As we will have anticipated his actions and taken our own to safeguard against his, where possible!
So that's my next course of action, talk to an attorney. Then try and get through these next two years.
He has taken away years of my life, the emotional abuse I've suffered has been beyond belief and too much to discuss here, or even reveal to strangers. The effect it has had on me over the past few years, well it crippled me, I became so depressed. It left me almost completely out of touch with reality.
It's a small miracle that I managed to persuade him that we buy this house and that he join us when he retires. You see there is no Naval base in Arizona, so he can't join us here until he retires. This gives me this one chance to make something of my life.
Anyway once again I'm rambling.
The advise I've received from you and the others who replied has been invaluable, it really has. And has helped give me the resolve to go on with my plan.
I am strong, he very nearly succeeded in pulling me totally down, but not quite
I think it's time to move this away from this board now, as I'm just rambling on OT!
I need to find a "going through a divorce" message board, or something similar.
I will become a US citizen before I file for divorce. Thank-you for pointing out how important that really is.
Sep 4th 2003, 4:33 am
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Birmingham, USA
Posts: 802
When I filed my n-400, if you look at the BCIS's "guide to naturalization" PDF, I seem to remember reading something about fee waivers being available.
http://www.immigration.gov/graphics/...s/waiverfs.htm
guide to naturalization:
http://www.immigration.gov/graphics/...tz/English.pdf
well, I just read the guide and there isn't anything in there about a fee waiver, but it will be worth asking about
...ah, here it is. It does look like it is applicable to filing n-400:
http://www.bcis.gov/graphics/services/natz/howapply.htm
"...Service officers retain broad discretionary authority under 8 CFR 103.7(c) in
adjudicating fee waiver requests. These guidelines delineate factors Service officers may
consider in adjudicating waiver requests, many of which are already considered in current
practice. The factors noted in this memorandum are not exhaustive and Service officers have
authority to consider other evidence in determining whether a waiver request can be approved..."
http://www.immigration.gov/graphics/...s/waiverfs.htm
guide to naturalization:
http://www.immigration.gov/graphics/...tz/English.pdf
well, I just read the guide and there isn't anything in there about a fee waiver, but it will be worth asking about
...ah, here it is. It does look like it is applicable to filing n-400:
http://www.bcis.gov/graphics/services/natz/howapply.htm
"...Service officers retain broad discretionary authority under 8 CFR 103.7(c) in
adjudicating fee waiver requests. These guidelines delineate factors Service officers may
consider in adjudicating waiver requests, many of which are already considered in current
practice. The factors noted in this memorandum are not exhaustive and Service officers have
authority to consider other evidence in determining whether a waiver request can be approved..."
Last edited by jaytee; Sep 4th 2003 at 4:53 am.
