ShozInOz

It's the hardest thing in the world. But when you live on the other side of the world, one gets a sudden insight into the meaning of life.

Some time ago we decided to return to the UK for many reasons and one reason. We are now due to leave in 2 weeks on Sunday. One week ago we had news that my wife's Mum has lung (and liver) cancer. It doesn't look good. She probably has a few months to live according to our research on her stage (but she hasn't asked and doesn't want to know). It is devastating. It sent us into a helpless whirlwind. But there is something serendipitous about the fact that we were due to be moving back soon. A few months with my wife's mum, so she can meet and spend time with her 9 month old granddaughter and her daughter, or a few months more of good flat whites and blue skies? The same goes for all those we love and who love us.

If you don't have that depth of love for friends and family then it wouldn't mean anything, but at times like this you realise that that depth of relationship is priceless. It is possible to regain in a new country, but it is like mining for diamonds.

After months of thinking and thinking with no clear answer, we have come to believe that the wisdom was in feeling. Not the flood of emotion variety of feeling, but the feeling that sticks with you niggling away, pulling at you relentlessly regardless. That feeling that something isn't right, that things don't 'click'. Some would call it intuition. I'm afraid the old cliche is the truest of all: HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS. Ours is not here - not now. Despite our love for Australia and Australians in many respects, the love of people we have built for 3 decades is magnetic and whole. Being here has made us see how many people, living so far away, love us and how they love us and it is astonishing.

Courage to those coming to Australia, and courage to those leaving. Neither is an easy journey.

Betty Boot

Sorry to hear your tragic news, i cant begin to imagine what you are going through, although i do think to myself quite often how would we feel if we were in that situation, which is one of the reasons we too have decided to return. Enjoy the time you all have together, it is something that blue skies and beaches will never replace. all the very best to you

woodyinoz

I think that what you are facing is the fear of many Expats..

I am so sorry to hear about the cancer and I hope that you are able to have some great months together. Many people have said to us not to return for family but I feel as do many, empty without them... Why should I feel as though I am grieving when they are alive and I was the one that moved away. Why do we torture ourselves just for a slightly bigger house and a bluer sky

chance to be

dear shozinoz
i am so sorry to hear your sad news.......
get back safely to the uk and make the most of the time you have.
please pass on my thoughts to your wife - what a dreadful time. but things happen for a reason as you well know - how wonderful that you are able to get back to the uk at this time. treasure every moment.
love c xxx

Pants

Hi Shoz

I am so sorry to hear your news. I really hope you all get to spend some quality time together. No words can describe how your wife must be feeling right now but just think in a few weeks time she will be able to show of your beautiful daughter and tell her mum just how much she means to her!..well all of you..!!
Please keep in touch..you have my email address. Give my best to Mrs Shoz and a huge cuddle for that gorgeous baby girl..!!

P

Exile

Hi Shoz,

Very sorry to hear that. It really is the worst fear of many of us out here so far away from family. It's something I've been thinking about a great deal lately. My mum had an operation recently and my grandmother (95) has never met my youngest child. This is partly why I'm going back for a visit in April, and why I will be thinking very hard about our next move (or, as you say, just seeing how it feels).

I really hear what you are saying, and I hope you can get back and have some valuable time with the people you love.

Best wishes to you all,

Chris

jad n rich

Yes its terribly hard being so far away, we went back for a visit in january, it was without doubt the last time I will see one of my parents, unless some miracle happens and I can get back again in the next couple of months.

Saying goodbye was the most devastating thing, I just could not let go, I stood there holding that parent knowing it would probably be the last time. My kids were there, that bit I have terrible guilt for, putting them through that.

People will always be more important than weather and houses, pity I didnt realise that till a bit late

poppets

I am very sorry to hear your sad news, how devestating for all of you. Enjoy your time together. Something i had to come to terms with when we decided to emigrate was that i probably wouldn't see my grandad alive again, he's in his 80s & got parkinsons, but because of the disease he's not the grandad i remember but he's stiil the grandad i adore. Best wishes to all of you xxx

Wendy

I really feel for you. Both my Mum and Dad have died from Cancer and I know how hard it is to come to terms with.

Make the most of the time you have left with her, my thoughts are with you

BigDavyG

Best wishes for your future

dg

SCOTTISH MARK 2

How incredibly sad and, you're right, it does seem that some
strange intuition may have made the decision for you to book the
flights.

Follow your heart and live somewhere where know you'll be happy....
weather and possessions mean nothing if you don't have people you love to share it with.

All our thoughts are with you and please keep in touch.

People are amazing and get through these things because
you have to. Thank God you'll be home soon.

blowers

[QUOTE=ShozInOz]It's the hardest thing in the world. But when you live on the other side of the world, one gets a sudden insight into the meaning of life.

Am so sorry to hear this, but happy for you that you will get to spend such valuable time together. Your post has made me cry sitting at my desk..bit embarrassing!
I would like to say that i have read many many of your posts during my difficult time here and having seen what wonderful advice and insight you have given, can fully understand how you'll have a heap of people back home, eagerly awaiting your return.
Good luck with the move, and with your family - wishing you all the best

Suzie B xxx

Mummy

Sorry to hear your news. It'll mean the world to your MIL to see and know her granddaughter. This is also the main reason that we want to go back - I want my son to know his family and for them to know him. It is something that is just not easily possible from this distance, and I can't wait to get back and make them all happy.

shelly1

This is a poem that my mum's best friend sent to me when my mum was in the last few months of her life, Many times in the last 20 years i have taken it out of the box and read the words,
I know no words can make things better for you at the moment but we are all with you in spirit
God speed and safe journey home
Shelly x

Footprints in the Sand



One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
“The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand my child, Is when I carried you.”


Mary Stevenson

jonthelad

Shoz, my heart goes out to you. I spend many days wondering if I'll ever see my Nan alive again - she basically was a 2nd mother to myself and my sibings and means the world to me, it is not easy being far away from the ones you love.
This must be so very difficult for you.
I wish you tremendous courage.

All the very best,
Jon