Piff Poff

I know no one can tell us what to do but grrr. I am so fed up with life in Alberta, struggling to get a decent job that I enjoy. I really do not want to go back to retail but am struggling to get any office work and it's so expensive to retrain for anything.

Looking back Husband and I haven't been 'happy' here for at least 6 years - we've been here 10 this year and we are planning a move to Ontario in the next few years - but will that be enough? Do we just throw the towel in and go back to the UK? My big concern about moving back is my daughter - I don't want to leave her in Canada with no extended family but in all honesty, we want to move to Ontario and she wants to move to BC. I wish at times we hadn't got the wunderlust in the 1st place.

Thanks for listening.

Perth

How old is your daughter? It sounds as if she is moving on with her life and perhaps wishes the same for you. Have you talked with her about it?

We are in a similar position - 23 year old daughter with no siblings, and any extended family at opposite ends of the country (USA). We will be leaving without her, as my husband and I have very good reasons to go, and she agrees. She may join us in a few of years after she has graduated with her masters in nursing and fulfilled her commitment to the hospital where she now works. But she may end up in another country entirely, which is what prompted us to make plans for ourselves.

Sounds like you may all need to sit down and talk it out. Your daughter has already shown her desire to move away from where you will be, so maybe she would not be adverse to you moving a little further away. Of course, I understand that it may be hard for you as her parents to cope with the distance. It's all a matter of what is best for you as a family. I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do.

curleytops

Is this the sole or primary reason for your being unhappy in Alberta? I'm not so sure moving to Ontario will resolve that issue for you; things aren't so great there at the moment. Indeed you could face similar challenges here in the UK. Ask yourself if faced with this issue in all three places, where would you feel most content "in your own skin" so to speak. Good luck with your decision, it's a tough call, I know.

Ps I trust Henry is well?

Isismom

I feel the same, I struggled to find office work here in edmonton area, I ended up starting up my own small business, I hate it, so tying, Im sick of alberta too, 7-8 months of snow on the ground, I was coping but now sick of hubby too after over 25 years together, I just cant do it anymore.

I dont think you will feel better in Ontario either, I think if I didnt have to work it would help, my hubby makes more than enough to suuport us both but no way would he ever have me enjoying myself all day, so fat chance of that, I realise a lot of the things I miss about the UK are gone now and I think you must realise that too first, times change as do people, I will move back to the UK, hopefuly soon, I feel more relaxed just thinking about it, its drawing me, something i never in a million years thought would happen 12 years ago when I moved here, but thats life!

I hope you find peace, it sucks being so miserable

feelbritish

I was in the same boat as well. When I reached my 10th anniversary here I started hating the place! It did not help that my dad died in 2008 and I could not go over to see him due to circumstances beyond my control. I miss the UK more than I thought I would. It is the familiarity and sense of belonging and history. I have never felt I belong here in North America and we live in the best part of Canada. OH loves it here and does not really want to go back but has now had to face facts that if he wants a marriage and happy wife he will have to move back to UK as he does not want to move to where my family are. I am terrified I am making a mistake and will not like it there either as we don't even know where we will settle yet! I am going to have to make it work. Financially I also believe we will be better off in UK as retirees. We will be lucky that we will not have to look for jobs.

Your daughter could always come home for visits. She may though, move to BC and after a while decide she also wants to go back.

I do agree with Pert you need to sit down all together as a family and discuss this. A piece of paper with line down middle and pros and cons sometimes works! Good luck

Piff Poff

Our daughter is 20 and is only just finding her feet and although she has moved out, it's very early days. I just don't feel as though she is ready to be quite on her own iykwim.

Yes I'm pretty sure the career front is my main reason for being unhappy combined wit the lack of things to do and combined with the excruciatingly long winters, just completely bored with what Alberta has to offer us in terms of things to do and career wise. I wish we'd faced the music years ago - properly rather than blithely hanging on hoping things would improve (hubby had pretty severe depression which rears it's ugly head again each March for a little while, give it another 2-3 weeks and he'll be ok for a bit.)

Henry is great thank you and has a sister - Daisy who keeps us awake most nights snoring - really really loudly.

Piff Poff

We've done the sitting down and talking, the pros and cons but we are scared of making a mistake

The reason we are thinking Ontario is the fact that property is much cheaper and by selling our house here we will be able to buy a business and home, if not outright then almost outright - which also means we could if we chose the right area we could do the same in the UK.

We did recce the UK last year our 1st trip that didn't centre around a parent dying or a parents funeral and while we had a lovely time, it didn't feel I dunno, that we belonged there anymore - we would have no ties to any particular area so the whole country could be taken under consideration. We also recce'd South West Ontario, and intend on another recce this fall, focusing on the Niagara region where the weather is more temperate with it's own pocket climate and winters much shorter. The other reason we like the idea of Ontario is the accessibility to the rest of the world. But I don't know if it would solve OH's feelings about Canadians in general (he works with some very insular people). OH turns 50 this year and his work is physically demanding and it wears him out in ways it didn't used too (mind you some of that could be down to Daisy and her snoring). It's just all really scary.

Novocastrian

Hi Piff Poff, we can't go on meeting like this...


I'm actually surprised by that. I'm sure you've done your research though.

Agreed on the better climate compared to Red Deer, but the climate in SW ON still sucks. While again I agree about easier/cheaper travel possibilities, being anywhere in Europe would be infinitely preferable in that respect than anywhere in Canada.

In addition, do you think your employment prospects would be better on the Niagara peninsular than where you are now? I don't know.

Piff Poff

Novo, you seem to be stalking me

As far as property goes, yes it's defiantly more affordable in Ontario although the taxes are higher, but it could be because we were looking at around the $500k mark (business and home combined) or could be separate business and home, we are not planning to have to work for other people, but I have checked OH's prospects and it looks likely if need be he could get a job without too much stress. There is also much more affordable business opportunity - or so it seems, we still are researching and dreaming

As far as snow goes, that's what you have a tractor for, it's the length of the winter, yes I know Ontario had a bad one this year but it didn't start until December and there does seem to be so much more to do, on a Sunday when your at a loose end and want to just get out and about and go for a walk.

Novocastrian

Ha! I was here first.

Good to hear.

Well we've just survived out LAST Canadian winter.

Wanna buy a tractor?

<best of luck in coming to a decision>

Piff Poff

It's amazing what sets a person off. DD posted pics of punting and the Safari Park - cue tears. Also OH has just said today maybe we should just go back to the UK, rather than try again elsewhere. It's going to be an interesting chat with DD when she get home form her holidays.

goins

Why Ontario.. lordy..i wanna run away from here... to the UK to marry my fiance..People n ontario..its all about material things..love PEI or SAN FRAN better yet UK where my fiance is from

Piff Poff

You've not materialistic people until you've met Albertans - the winters are so long the only thing to do is go to the mall/car dealership/RV Store/Harley Place and spend money and we are TIRED of it - we are not big shoppers.

Anyhow, we have decided to give Ontario a definite try - another recce is planned for later and if that doesn't bring us what we are looking for we shall go back to Blighty. The best thing about all of this is both my husband and I are in complete agreement with what we should do. We've both got doubts and are anxious to make the right move but we came to the conclusion that Ontario doesn't have to be forever if it doesn't work.

goins

Good luck
..

Piff Poff

Thanks