Are we crazy?

Old Jul 30th 2014, 7:50 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

I suggest you go home for a few months then see if you still like it there or if it's an illusion. Personally I feel guilty about not being available for my grand-kids but otherwise I have no wish to return. Rather I would like to get my family away from the UK.
Remember the UK is broke and going nowhere. I find it negative and of course there is the weather!
You also have to consider your kids and their future. Where will their interests best be served? Canada is a young country and more or less knows and accepts it's place in the world. The UK is still behaving like a world power which it cannot afford.
They still have no idea how to run the finances of the UK and must inevitably look forward to some kind of collapse in the future.
There are a lot of issues and only you can decide between logic and emotion. Just remember that what you may recall about the UK is probably a clouded memory.
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Old Jul 30th 2014, 7:52 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

It was more my husbands dream to come... His frustration with his job will still be there.

I wanted the adventure, the idea that there might be a better place to live, but we were never escaping anything, we both enjoyed our lives back home, we might not have had a big house, but it was a very happy home.

The things that frustrated I now miss, the NHS/politics etc. The sense that they were important or that people around me cared. I felt connected by that sense of caring about it even if it was frustrating at the same time. But there's already things that frustrate me here...

If it weren't for the house we'd go home...
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Old Jul 30th 2014, 8:00 pm
  #18  
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by ukenterprise
I suggest you go home for a few months then see if you still like it there or if it's an illusion. Personally I feel guilty about not being available for my grand-kids but otherwise I have no wish to return. Rather I would like to get my family away from the UK.
Remember the UK is broke and going nowhere. I find it negative and of course there is the weather!
You also have to consider your kids and their future. Where will their interests best be served? Canada is a young country and more or less knows and accepts it's place in the world. The UK is still behaving like a world power which it cannot afford.
They still have no idea how to run the finances of the UK and must inevitably look forward to some kind of collapse in the future.
There are a lot of issues and only you can decide between logic and emotion. Just remember that what you may recall about the UK is probably a clouded memory.
I haven't been gone that long, only January. I remember exactly the way things are. The UK isn't broke, it's just an argument used by people who want to patronise another persons decision which they don't agree with although I find the UKIP thing a bit worrying admittedly.

I don't think the education system is as good here as back home, I don't think the potential for future employment where we live is as good here as back home, it doesn't seem that advanced to me. All countries finances are cyclical. You only have to look at the exchange rate to show that the UK is bouncing back. I find the part of Canada where I live ever so slightly racist if I'm honest and that bothers me, it's so very white here. There's a lot of poverty here just as back in the UK, and the health system isn't as good as the NHS.

It's blinkered to assume that the UK is all bad. We happened to have the chance of a good life here due to my husbands job. That would apply anywhere pretty much.

Edited to add... I think the weather is the only thing I agree with. We would miss the weather and what you can do with it.
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Old Jul 30th 2014, 8:44 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by ukenterprise
I suggest you go home for a few months then see if you still like it there or if it's an illusion. Personally I feel guilty about not being available for my grand-kids but otherwise I have no wish to return. Rather I would like to get my family away from the UK.
Remember the UK is broke and going nowhere. I find it negative and of course there is the weather!
You also have to consider your kids and their future. Where will their interests best be served? Canada is a young country and more or less knows and accepts it's place in the world. The UK is still behaving like a world power which it cannot afford.
They still have no idea how to run the finances of the UK and must inevitably look forward to some kind of collapse in the future.
There are a lot of issues and only you can decide between logic and emotion. Just remember that what you may recall about the UK is probably a clouded memory.
The UK is definitely not broke, in fact, the general consensus from my family that live there is that the economy is surging. The UK has the fastest growing economy of any developed country, faster than Canada, U.S. and Germany. Recently a friend of mine moved from the GTA where he had searched for work for months in his field to no avail, he applied to a position in Edinburgh whilst still in Canada and received a job offer and relocation package.

Now granted his situation may be the exception of the rule, but I definitely would not write off the UK, Canada's economy is stalling, and people in my generation are having a terrible time making a living around here.
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Old Jul 30th 2014, 10:05 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Reading your post it seems to me that you have had your feet left in UK! When we came over we were enthusiastic and had no jobs to come to but left a house in UK as investment. That was 12 years ago. Eventually the loneliness did get to me 7 years later and missing my friends and family became more and more important as I got older. Having another child here while you want to be "home" will only I believe cement your reasons for going home! Your family is there! You keep mentioning your job that you "love" so that is important. Why not stay for a few more months until you have to go back for your jobs and let your house out here for a year and see how you like that year back in UK. If you can get your permanent residence in meantime, being out of the country for a year I think is doable! You may have to check though.
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Old Jul 30th 2014, 10:32 pm
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Wow FeelBritish, view it backwards, that is actually a great idea!

It actually works, you won't believe how well... My husband has two exams to sit here to get a full unrestricted license, one in autumn, one in spring, we could apply for few in the meantime... I could get my nursing under my belt if we really want to go back...
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 12:38 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by Tirytory

We recently had family (brother in law and family) over too....and everyone was really upset when they had to go. It makes us wonder what we're giving up, plus the news that his dad's health has deteriorated suddenly doesn't help.
The family thing sucks. Recently I had to say goodbye to grandparents - they moved back home this month.

The thing is i'm tied both ways - when I am in Canada, half my close family is back home. When i'm back home, half my close family is in Canada. Its tough... By the sounds of your other post it seems even the children want to go home... I'd agree, the education system here is - I don't even have a word for it. Take it from someone whos gone through it (and still going through it, 3 years to go, whilst hating every second)

Originally Posted by Tirytory
If it weren't for the house we'd go home...
Then go. If you were still in a rental and you could easily give your notice and go home, and you'd go, then i'd say that's a sure sign to go. Do what feelbritish said and let the house out for a year, go back to the UK, and then all your options are open.
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 6:07 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Regarding the weather, the summer is great here, but unless you are able to take part in the hugely expensive winter activities here in Ontario, then for five months pretty much, there is not a lot to do....Plus I for one actually would like to not have to go from heating directly to air conditioning. This summer although not pool weather as much has been refreshing..
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 6:15 pm
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Originally Posted by daisymoll
Regarding the weather, the summer is great here, but unless you are able to take part in the hugely expensive winter activities here in Ontario, then for five months pretty much, there is not a lot to do....Plus I for one actually would like to not have to go from heating directly to air conditioning. This summer although not pool weather as much has been refreshing..
There are things that don't cost a fortune,(curling, recreational skating, XC skiing for example) but as the OPs partner is doing alright as a doctor I doubt the cost of lift tickets is an issue.

This summer is very atypical. Kind of sucks as I was looking forward to going to the beach with the kids
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 6:46 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by iaink
There are things that don't cost a fortune,(curling, recreational skating, XC skiing for example) but as the OPs partner is doing alright as a doctor I doubt the cost of lift tickets is an issue.

This summer is very atypical. Kind of sucks as I was looking forward to going to the beach with the kids
Being a SAHM with four kids, kitting them out is beyond our budget!! As too is the lift pass! An honest response.....And hubby earns a decent wage.
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 6:54 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by daisymoll
Being a SAHM with four kids, kitting them out is beyond our budget!! As too is the lift pass! An honest response.....And hubby earns a decent wage.
I hear you. The good news (such as it is) is that although the initial outlay to get skates and skis etc is steep, at least there is a thriving 2nd hand market for both buying and selling gear, so over time it sort of evens out.

We havent really got into curling, but "Thing1" was very taken with it after a few goes out last year and the cost of it is really reasonable, so thats high on the radar for this year. "Thing 2" still want to Ski Race... poverty awaits

None of which applies to the OP...
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Old Aug 2nd 2014, 3:04 pm
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So after a few days of soul searching....and with a husband who's thought it over and is now exceptionally reluctant..... I still feel that the things that are wrong here won't be fixable.

We've made friends and those friendships will grow, but they can never replace the 10-15 year friendships we left behind. I want those back. If we go at the end of the year, my son can find his place back in his friendships, we can hopefully get him through the schooling that he's missed out on in a year, but more importantly for me I lost my identity when I moved here so deeply tied up with my job. I suspect we missed a trick not having this all set up when we moved and choosing the place we lived for my job and not just his job, but we didn't and I don't want to be in a place in five yrs time where I'm frustrated and bored. Being good at my job, independence, my own wage all mean too much to me.

As I mentioned earlier my husband wants to stay, mostly related to the fact that being a GP in the UK right now is not a good job to have and I do feel exceptionally guilty about that.
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Old Aug 2nd 2014, 5:20 pm
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by ukenterprise
I suggest you go home for a few months then see if you still like it there or if it's an illusion. Personally I feel guilty about not being available for my grand-kids but otherwise I have no wish to return. Rather I would like to get my family away from the UK.
Remember the UK is broke and going nowhere. I find it negative and of course there is the weather!
You also have to consider your kids and their future. Where will their interests best be served? Canada is a young country and more or less knows and accepts it's place in the world. The UK is still behaving like a world power which it cannot afford.
They still have no idea how to run the finances of the UK and must inevitably look forward to some kind of collapse in the future.
There are a lot of issues and only you can decide between logic and emotion. Just remember that what you may recall about the UK is probably a clouded memory.
We returned to England last July after 6 years in Canada and arrived into a heatwave which continued for the next few weeks and autumn was lovely. Yes, winter was a wash out for most but thankfully we were out of the flood zones and still enjoyed breaks from the rain.
Spring came in February this year which was a pleasant welcome after Canada where spring would not arrive until April/May if you were lucky. Rain has been pretty much non-existent here since then and we have had plenty of hot sunny days this summer so far. I have a tan coming along quite nicely

The UK is not broken, maybe a bit bent, but not broken. Those stories are sensationalised by the Daily Fail which unfortunately some people feed off.

Originally Posted by Tirytory
So after a few days of soul searching....and with a husband who's thought it over and is now exceptionally reluctant..... I still feel that the things that are wrong here won't be fixable.

We've made friends and those friendships will grow, but they can never replace the 10-15 year friendships we left behind. I want those back. If we go at the end of the year, my son can find his place back in his friendships, we can hopefully get him through the schooling that he's missed out on in a year, but more importantly for me I lost my identity when I moved here so deeply tied up with my job. I suspect we missed a trick not having this all set up when we moved and choosing the place we lived for my job and not just his job, but we didn't and I don't want to be in a place in five yrs time where I'm frustrated and bored. Being good at my job, independence, my own wage all mean too much to me.

As I mentioned earlier my husband wants to stay, mostly related to the fact that being a GP in the UK right now is not a good job to have and I do feel exceptionally guilty about that.
Hi Tirytory, I only just read this thread so am joining after you have made your decision, but just wanted to wish you good luck and I hope returning here works out for you
I do agree that you should rent your Canadian home for a year or 2 though, just to be sure
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Old Aug 5th 2014, 7:34 am
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Some people will advise "give it time...or leave now" it sounds so simple and sometimes it can be ....me I dither and think about things...sometimes way to much lol my husband on the other hand is of the "if it's not working then why waste time", my husbands nephew and his partner went to live in Canada last August and came home in February saying "it was just not for them" and just carried on with their old lives here in the UK quite happily....If I had a good lifestyle in the UK (or any other country), enjoyed where I lived and loved my work and friends etc then I would not leave.....heck that sounds to simple for me lol.....but sometimes a decision is that simple. Good luck with everything, try not to be so hard on yourself either.
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Old Aug 5th 2014, 11:28 am
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Default Re: Are we crazy?

Originally Posted by ukenterprise
I suggest you go home for a few months then see if you still like it there or if it's an illusion. Personally I feel guilty about not being available for my grand-kids but otherwise I have no wish to return. Rather I would like to get my family away from the UK.
Remember the UK is broke and going nowhere. I find it negative and of course there is the weather!
You also have to consider your kids and their future. Where will their interests best be served? Canada is a young country and more or less knows and accepts it's place in the world. The UK is still behaving like a world power which it cannot afford.
They still have no idea how to run the finances of the UK and must inevitably look forward to some kind of collapse in the future.
There are a lot of issues and only you can decide between logic and emotion. Just remember that what you may recall about the UK is probably a clouded memory.
Very good post, however I don't think it would go down to well with
( Chris955)
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