penguinsix

As we ponder our next moves, I've started to wonder about the uprooting of the kids and plopping them into a new school / culture / environment and it has me a bit worried. I've always wanted the kids to have a sense of "home"--a place where they came from and grew up, but the modern global lifestyle we lead means it's possible we could make a radical move from one country and group of friends to another.

Do you think there is a point that you should just "stay put" and tough it out a few more years for the sake of the kids, and what age would that be? Of course the final year of high school in the USA or the last year before GCSE are frequently cited as an example, but would you think the end of primary is still ok? A few years later?

Richard8655

Not an easy answer as every family is different in their ability to move overseas and adapt. Culture shock can vary from interesting experience easily overcome to a miserable process.

But assuming you're meaning a move from U.S. to UK, I think a cultural change is good for kids just about anytime. It widens their horizon at impressionable ages. No language issue in this case either. But such a move shouldn't be repeated often as it becomes too disruptive and they can lose their sense of stability.

So yes, I'd say if you're contemplating a move to UK, talk to the kids and get their input first, and make the plans. It just may be something that will forever change their lives in a positive way.

petrichor

I have three boys, 25, 23 and 12, and I'd say that moving during primary school has much less impact than moving during secondary education. Adolescence is a tough time for many kids and they find it harder to fit into new social groups. Having said that, it varies a lot between kids according to their personalities. Some thrive in new places, others wilt.

agm1287

This is a great and timely conversation... i have been in the US for 15 years and have 2 kids... firstly i am assuming as i was born in the UK that my children would be able to apply for a British Passport.. They are 15 and 10 and these are the thoughts that i am currently contemplating.. when is the best time etc..

chawkins99

We moved from the UK to the US in 2003 when our daughter was 11. We were faced with a move from Yorkshire to the Southeast for my work which would have meant upheaval for her anyway, so we made the decision to try for the US. She was about to move from primary school to secondary school anyway which made it a bit more logical. She made the transition very well (including losing her English accent to better blend in). We had some typical "teenager" problems but I don't believe they were related to the move and would have happened anyway. I don't think we would have made the move 2-3 years later. She is now 23 years old with a college degree and working at a law firm as a research assistant.

brits1

Hi we have moved our boys while in Primary, High School and even while in Uni !!!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS want a home and thought I would live in the same home forever and a lot of people do but in this day and age more and more families move for various reasons. I have come to the conclusion after talking to our boys that home really is just where you are at that time in your life, our two hate the thought when I say "oh I wish we had a home that you actually both grew up in", the both say "they have loved moving to different countries/areas and moving schools never caused them any problems" good luck

alexleeson

I think primary and first year of high school are ok but beyond that - it is harder. It really depends on the personality of the child.

Our kids were in primary when we moved and they took to life in UK like a duck to water - they don't miss Oz at all and both say they never want to leave the town! They both get worried that we might move again because they love school, but we assured them we are not moving!

We had a friend move from US and their 13 year old daughter has been through panic/anxiety attacks (she never had them before) and has taken six months to make friends and their 7 year old has struggled too for various reasons (he started bullying as a defence mechanism). Both kids ended up hating school leaving my friend frazzled! They are better now but it took at least 7/8 months to feel settled. But having said that it is more to do with the personalities of the kids rather than the age of moving. I personally think my friend is too melodramatic about everything and it rubbed onto the kids!

Pulaski

We wouldn't willingly move little Miss P much after her tenth birthday (she is currently 8), though in practice we have zero intention of moving before she leaves high school. She is enrolled in a K-12 program and we are looking forward to her going all the way through the school system with the same group of friends.

Piff Poff

I promised I wouldn't move my daughter once she started high school. I had hoped that she would be in college/uni by now, giving us possibly a bit more freedom to move but she had a change of heart career wise. She now wants to study in the UK, but is saving like mad as she after much discussion is now planning on at least one year in Australia, she would like a year in Japan and then study before the student debt mounts up.

gateranger

I am in the same dilemma - I keep putting it off, always with the intention to move back.....only just started researching and am now dejected to find out about the residency law for school to university for "in-state' fees...........now am stumped again!