cookiehearts

So I realise there are a few threads like this, but I am feeling a little lost and was hoping maybe someone who has been in a similar situation would be able to offer some advice. I am not sure if it's that we want to move to the UK, or if that the particular place we live in the US right now (Texas) just isn't right for us.

So we moved to the US last year (my husband is American). Before that we had both been living in Japan (me for 3 years, him for 5) and when his contract was up we decided to move to the US.

My husband was basically "done" with Japan, and since the US visa process was easier (idk what that says about the UK visa process), moving to the States was the logical choice. He was also feeling really homesick for the US at this point. I was up for moving to a new country, so it wasn't a big issue for me.

We now live in Austin, TX. After a year here neither one of us is really feeling it (even though it is a really cool city), and my husband is keen to go to the UK. I think the US isn't what he remembered it as.

From my perspective, I never felt homesick while I was in Japan, like ever really. But in Japan we had a good group of friends, so I am wondering if the fact we don't know anyone here is part of the problem, and would be a problem wherever we moved since all our friends are so scattered. I'm not super homesick for the UK right now, but it is seeming like a better place to live at this moment.

I feel like the pros and cons for us can be summed up as follows, but I am looking for opinions whether these are really accurate in reality.

Traveling:
So my husband and I love traveling and had a lot of opportunity to do so when we lived in Japan. But the problems here in the States are:
- I only have 15 vacation days a year, I know that some people get more (my husband has 20) but it seems pretty standard for the US. Also both our companies only give us about 7 of the national holidays off. I believe that we would get more time off in the UK for a standard professional position (I'm a web developer, he's in Business Development and Requirements)
- We live in Austin, Texas so you basically drive 7 hours and you are still in Texas. In the UK we would be able to fly to places in Europe cheaper than what it costs to fly to another state here. And we would be able to drive to places like the Peake District, go to London, etc. on long weekends.
- Buuuutttt... I'm worried that our wages will be lower in the UK unless we live in London, so with rent + council tax we wouldn't even have as much money to travel anyway. A lot of my friends who graduated during the recession have had the tiniest wage increases over the last 6 years (and freezes for maybe the first 3 years), whereas here in the US it seems easier to get a wage increase by trading up jobs since there are so many more developer positions.

Seasons:
I feel like Austin doesn't have seasons, it's just cold (1.5 - 2 months of the year) and hot the rest. After 3 years of living in one of the snowiest places in Japan I thought I was done with winter forever, but now I find myself missing the seasons and diverse landscape. So this is something that might just be Austin / the South not being right for us. But I'm also not sure if I have glossed over in my mind those bleak winter days in the UK.

Housing:
The US has the advantage here. I know we would definitely eventually be able to buy a bigger, nicer house here in the US. And even though my parents have a house we can stay in when we move back to the UK, we would probably have to find somewhere to rent for awhile and finding somewhere that allows pets / is generally quite nice in the UK seems much more difficult in the UK compared to the US where we can be much more choosy about where we live and what we pay. I just have this vision of living in a cramped, damp apartment where the plumbing doesn't work properly and it's freezing half the year lol.

Healthcare:
So I think this is the big thing. Even though we are both in good health and have insurance now, I am worried about if one of us gets seriously ill or gets in an accident, since our insurance is only valid if we are employed. I don't know if my concerns on this are valid or if people going bankrupt from medical bills really isn't that common. I hate the thought that something like 1 hospital visit could wipe out all our savings.

Thank you if you read through all that lol. I'm having trouble distinguishing between itchy feet or just not really feeling the way things are in America or if it's just Texas.

Any thoughts are welcome!

Sally Redux

This is just my purely subjective take.

The houses are bigger, so what. Mostly a load of echoing space stuck out in some deadly suburb.

Healthcare - a worry.

Guns - a worry.

Church - ridiculous.

Friends - all English in my case.

The only plus people can come up with - sunshine.

Gave it nine years, if you leave it too long you get grandchildren and can never leave.

Bnet36

I would like to add - POLITICS (to the list) I hope you don't mind Sally.

I am in Georgia so sunshine is overrated to me. It gets too hot, you can't be outside to enjoy it. I know from Hubby who lived there for 2 years Texas is worse. I never 'hated' English weather plus I could always jet off to somewhere nice so easy.

I have that big house now - not out of greed but it was actually one of the smaller houses we could find without losing quality. My neighbors and I talk about this all the time. We cannot wait to downsize. Of course all my English friends cannot believe that I would leave that behind. You have to keep the AC and heat on to keep that big house comfortable. Lets not talk about cleaning and maintenance of such a house.

Friends - everyone is too busy running the rat race. My hubby is a USC and he had more friends when we lived in England. Walk to the pub whenever.

If you like to travel you will need to earn a lot of money and be extremely fortunate to land a job that will allow you to take 2 weeks off at time (which to me is reasonable if you are forking all those dollars for a trip anywhere). In most cases you have used up your allocated days by then.

The contradiction of being a 'christian country' and some of the things that happen in this country amazes me to no end.

I am heading home before my kids have kids.. mind you I have a long time before that happens

Again just my opinion and experience here. If you are truly undecided give it a couple more years. You will know for sure eventually.

rebeccajo

Younger people raising kids (or who want to raise some eventually) usually want (and need) a larger home. So are kids in your picture?

If so - what are your thoughts about raising them? Do you want to do that near family? Or are you hoping your kids will have wanderlust like you do?

If you are planning a family, your healthcare premiums will rise. So that's another aspect of our system to think about.

It's a different decision for everyone. Not only because of what we want or need, because of where we are in our lives. I'm like Sally and Bnet. I'm done with the big house business. I'm done with the temperature extremes of the US. Careers? I think if a person is motivated, you can make that happen on either side of the pond. And get more hols for it in the UK. I've raised my kid and have more options now.

I think...................

Englishmum

Hmmmm.

You could come to Switzerland lol! (We are on an expat posting here) if you are not quite ready to return to the UK.

The climate here is actually milder than when we were in New Jersey and you get the four distinct seasons....it's only really cold if you go up the Alps and Winter doesn't drag on for months like it does in the northern States of the USA. Our rental apartment is extremely well-insulated with heated floors (bliss).

It's so nice being in this part of Europe as it is so easy to travel anywhere, whether by air, train or car. Quite often at weekends we get in the car and drive to nearby France, Germany, Austria or Italy, even just for a day trip. We will be driving to England in a couple of days. The quality of life here is excellent - wages are very high, annual leave is of course as per the norm for Europeans and it seems that the majority of young mothers stay at home to raise their children as their spouse can afford to provide for the family.

There are many employment opportunities for English speakers. Many companies - inc. where my spouse works - are 'English speaking' only.... most expats I know don't speak a word of German (Schwyzer Deutsch) or the other Swiss languages. Actually a job was posted there today for a web-developer:

Jobs in Switzerland (Btw. it's easy for EU passport holders to get an employment permit, but your spouse wouldn't find it a problem either).

Home page:

English Forum Switzerland

petrichor

Your wages shouldn't be too low if you're well-experienced, qualified and working in private industry. Certainly you'll be in a better position than many entry-level or manual workers in the UK and they still manage.
Travelling can be done very cheaply - budget flights and advance train fares are a pittance, and there are plenty of B&Bs and hostels that don't charge a fortune.
You'll almost certainly get more annual holidays. I think the legal minimum is 20 weeks.
Once you get used to the way things work in the UK you'll find there are lots of ways of saving money.
I don't see the attraction in a large house, personally. It's a status symbol and little more. The larger the house the more it costs to furnish and heat, and the more there is to clean. Okay, you have more storage space but all that happens is that you fill all available space with clutter.
I've never lived in the US and I don't think I ever would. The healthcare system is enough to deter anyone in their right minds.

Simon Legree

Where do I sign up for this bonanza ?

spouse of scouse

I've never thought of having a large house as being a status symbol, but I suppose some people might think that way. It can be a necessity if you have more than the standard 2.5 kids (which is probably 1.5 now!), need an extra room/rooms for hobbies, like to entertain on a large scale, you work from home etc.

Having said that, I'm looking forward enormously to begin my flat dwelling existence, a big house with just 2 people rattling around in it doesn't work for us at this stage of our lives.

cookiehearts

Thanks for the replies guys, it has given us a lot to think about.

Right? I went out for the day last weekend and got super sick from the heat. Japan is pretty hot too (usually in the 80s with high humidity) and I never had problems, but here the heat is just so intense.

Yeah this has really bugged me. My husband's employer is fine, but I wanted to take 1 and a half weeks off to see my family and they were like '...... we'll have to check' Like really? But this is my first job in the US so I'm not sure if it's just my employer or if the majority of companies are this way.

We don't have kids and probably won't do for another 5 years if we do at all (or we will adopt). But that is again a worry here that unless you live in CA you only get 6 weeks maternity leave.

I think we are both open to living in another place in Europe, but it's just the logistics of us both getting a job at the same time - or would just he need to get a job and I can look for one there?

I don't think it's necessarily having a "big" house, but in the US you have more of a choice, and the homes are a lot newer so they seem to be better laid out. Plus you don't have to put down as much of a deposit. But then yeah they are kind of out in these soulless suburbs with no character.

rebeccajo

You are the Brit and he is the American?

For you to bring him to the UK, it is YOUR income that is used to grant his visa. His income has no bearing on it at all.

cookiehearts

I am aware of this, but if we were to move to say somewhere else in EU, he could potentially get a work visa and I (I think) could look for work once there. True we could do this for the UK as well, but if we were looking all over Europe (opposed to just the UK) it seems like a wider net. We have always like the idea of living in central or northern Europe, but again I am not sure how easy it would be for him to get a job since he doesn't work in IT or engineering which seem to be the most in demand.

We were also thinking that maybe he could do his masters in the UK (which he has wanted to do for awhile), and then once I am in 18,600K+ employment for 6 months we could switch it over to a spousal visa. I haven't heard of anyone doing this though, even though it seems like a fairly simple course of action?

moi

You get 6 weeks maternity/adoption leave in all states. However, it is only paid through the state in CA and NJ usually at 2/3 of your income, to a certain amount. Yeah it sucks... We just had a failed adoption and I would have had the paid 6 weeks at 2/3 of my part time salary up here in NJ, but most states do not offer that. If you work for a good company then you might get a better deal, but this country is not geared to mother's bonding with their newborn or adoptive children whatsoever. Shameful.

rebeccajo

If you are open to living anywhere else in Europe, then he doesn't need a visa to come with you. Your rights to free movement as a European citizen give you the right to take your non-EU spouse with you as long as YOU are working in that other EU country.

After you've done that for a while, then he wouldn't need a visa to enter the UK. You'd file for him to come to the UK under European law, rather than UK immigration rules.

And it would only cost you about £55 pounds in fees, versus thousand of pounds for a UK visa.

cookiehearts

I think my company offers 1/2 pay, which my co-worker told me was 'really good' :/

cookiehearts

Wow really? That just seems crazy that I can take him anywhere else in the EU except the UK *_* I mean I knew about the SS route but I guess I just assumed the non EU citizen needed a work visa.