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Returning to the UK - don't

Returning to the UK - don't

Old May 11th 2009, 12:10 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

[QUOTE=Gaeller;7559670]I am sure you are all a friendly lot but I did not join for discussions. I thought someone was asking for a genuine point of view.
Not sure what you mean by this, but putting forward your point of view on a forum generally leads to discussions

....commit yourself to your new country and forget the UK you can't belong in two places.

This is a very valid point, and one that I have thought about alot in my decision process. I do think that once you have relocated you somehow become a nomad as you don't belong 100% in either location. I didn't realize that would happen - which makes me feel rather silly now! Since feeling homesick, I have made a concsious effort to embrace all the good things in the US, as well as our particular location, so that instead of missing the UK, I can appreciate the benefits we have here that we would not have there. Unfortunately, my main pull (as with most others looking to return) is that of friends and family and no matter what we have here, we don't have them! I know that will form the ultimate decision for us.
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Old May 11th 2009, 12:26 am
  #17  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Gaeller
Presumably though most people have left the UK because they were dissatisfied with their lot.
Rubbish......people leave for many reasons.

Many of us have done and do very well in the UK.

If you can't hack it then that is your problem. Your posts say more about you than they do about the UK.
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Old May 11th 2009, 12:42 am
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

abroad. I focussed on the health care and services in Portugal because we lived in a rural area where most people were self-sufficient farmers. One thing that Brits think is that there is a welfare service in the UK. There once was, but no longer.

Fortunately we were fit enough not to need a doctor except in a couple of emergencies - hornet stings and a cut hand. The service was prompt, seen by our GP based at the local hospital and then passed on for treatment straight away.

What was good about Portugal was the quality of food. We grew our own organic food and so did most of our neighbours. Everything was fresh and usually seasonal.

There was a level of respect. Young people, even small children were treated as individuals and with complete respect. No-one would be rude enough to designate anyone an OP as they do here. The weather was difficult extremely hot in the summer and very cold in winter, but even in winter by midday the sun would be out.

There was a strong sense of community and belonging. Even though we were foreigners in a non-English speaking part of the country we were drawn into what everyone did. We got drawn into their weddings, funerals and confirmations. It was great being able to teach them what we knew and they made use of our skills which was exactly what we would have wished. We were the only people in our area with a telephone - so they popped across and asked us to phone for them. We were the only people with a car, so we got to take them anywhere they couldn't walk to. In return they taught us everything we needed to know about how to look after our olives and how to make wine and brandy.

The cities were wonderfully clean. The restaurants clean. Our water came from an underground spring. It wasn't full of antibiotics, hormones and chemicals. People were not suspicious of one another; they didn't spend a lot of their time worrying about 'celebrities' or involved in non-real 'reality programmes', though most were keen on TV.

In short, if I could sell my house I would go back tomorrow. I have made myself homesick just talking about this.
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Old May 11th 2009, 12:49 am
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Gaeller
In short, if I could sell my house I would go back tomorrow. I have made myself homesick just talking about this.

Cheerio then
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Old May 11th 2009, 12:50 am
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Her advice would be if you are not sure about returning here, commit yourself to your new country and forget the UK you can't belong in two places.
This is about as daft as it gets. Why would anyone forget the UK if they didn't want to? and using this advice nobody would ever live in multiple countries as everyone would just 'stop' at the first. You really must stop generalising about your perceived audience here.

I've lived in 4 (5 depending on your definition) countries, and will return to the UK and look forward to doing so. But will it be permanent? I really really doubt it, life has too much potential for adventure. But it's where we want to be for the next few years for sure. I can speak 3 languages and my wife is bilingual.

For sure there are a lot of 'try a move once and move back' folks here and good luck to them but there are just as many perenial travellers and relocators. Just because a person does not like one country doesn't automatically preclude them from being the type that cannot cope abroad.

Your wild assupmtions of the population of this board and your generalisations are making you look a tad silly. A mistake that could have been easily rectified by spending some time here first.

Your content is fine, you delivery and execution poor.
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Old May 11th 2009, 12:52 am
  #21  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

So the swordfish in Portugal is comparable to a pub lunch in UK then, inexpensive and hearty. It's just your taste in food that appears to have changed, you can't expect a proper pub lunch in Portugal the same way you can't expect your working mans swordfish in UK.
Honestly, I think it depends on what part of UK you end up in and why.
It's obvious you were settled and in love with life in Portugal, maybe one day you'll get to go back again to live.
For me I didn't leave looking for a better life, I had a fine life in UK and was working for the NHS I never had any problems to tell the truth.
I have enjoyed my life in US, but it isn't home, I worry for the future here, one debilitating illness for either Dh or I and we'd loose it all, and we have excellent health cover compared to most here. But for most of my life here we worried the kids might break a leg and bankrupt us. Medical bills are #1 cause of bankruptcy here.
Theres no safety net here to speak of, as flawed as you find the UK to us going home looks mighty good. to us, plus the pull of family as always. We want to care for our aged family too.
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Old May 11th 2009, 12:56 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Grayling - perhaps you would explain if you were perfectly happy in the Uk why would you leave.

I did not leave because I could not 'hack it'. On one occasion I left because I was paying 27% out of my salary and went to a country where I got everything for 8%. At that time I was one of only two female managers in the Shell Company either side of the Atlantic. I was able to work in so many countries because I was highly skilled and well educated and trained.

Yes I take the point about welfare. However, those of us who paid into the Social Security system for 40 years should actually be entitled to get something back. It was called National Insurance and cost a lot. I paid even when I was working somewhere else.

Yes everything has changed in 20 years. However, the first time I needed dental treatment, other than scale and polish cost me £75 for a crown on the NHS. The same job as a private patient in Portugal would cost £27.
My friend, an NHS volunteer has just returned from Bulgaria where she spent a week in a hotel, a day in a state-of-the-art hospital having tooth implants for a fraction of the cost in the UK>
These things are crucial to know if people are returning to the UK thinking they will enjoy the same lifestyle or security that they do in their present life.

Of course - missing family is a major factor in deciding. However, when someone lives abroad it is surely with the intention of being a friend and making friends in return. You don't suspend your normal human instincts just because you happen to be on a different spot on the planet
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Old May 11th 2009, 1:01 am
  #23  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills
one debilitating illness for either Dh or I and we'd loose it all, and we have excellent health cover compared to most here. But for most of my life here we worried the kids might break a leg and bankrupt us.
My hubby had a brain hemorrhage last year and the medical bills for that stand at about $250,000, with our contribution to pay being approx $15,000 even though we pay nearly $600 a month for coverage! It is truly a scary thing in the US and I, like you, freak myself out all the time about the "what if" scenarios regarding medical bills! However, his initial diagnosis and treatment were excellent and I'm not so sure we would have been afforded the same on the NHS (he was in a helicopter going to a specialist brain unit within 30 mins of going ot the ER). That takes us back to the good and bad points of all things I suppose.
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Old May 11th 2009, 1:01 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Gaeller
Grayling - perhaps you would explain if you were perfectly happy in the Uk why would you leave.
For family reasons.....and, in a few years, I will return for family reasons.

My experiences of the UK are completely different to yours...as are my experiences of Portugal
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Old May 11th 2009, 2:32 am
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Well Gaeller, it's been a long time since I read such a provocative post especially one where someone has such a low opinion of the posters on this forum and such a high opinion of themselves. As is the norm with this type of post you presume far too much about others.

The title of your post might have been better if you had said "Returning to (insert name of a crappy UK town) - don't". You are clearly having major issues where you live but that doesn't mean that every place in the UK is like it. You haven't said where you live in the UK.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion of the countries they live in and tbh I was interested in your views of your life in Portugal because it is so far removed from my Portuguese friends' experiences that they couldn't wait to up sticks and move to London where they enjoy a far higher standard of living and better facilities.

Although you don't think so the majority of posters on this forum are just as skilled and educated as you claim to be. Some probably more than you.

Many of us speak other languages. I am fluent in another language and can speak another 2 languages on top of that well enough not to get ripped off by restaurants/taxis/shops. Many of us have lived and worked in other countries too so are well travelled.

Triboy speaks Korean and, I would guess, Spanish, as he lived in South America. His Korean wife speaks English.

You've probably insulted most of the posters on the European forums who have made huge efforts to integrate into the communities they have chosen to live in and also to learn the language of their adopted countries just as I did when I lived in different European countries.

And just out of interest why doesn't your sister complain to Social Services about her carer not doing enough for her?

Why didn't you take your MIL and mother to Portugal to live?

With regard to ID cards I'm in Australia and have to show photo ID EVERY time I want to post even the smallest parcel to another country. Can't remember doing that in the UK.

I have had nothing but the best treatment under the NHS and maybe I was lucky but 90% of the time I got a GPs appointment on the same day in the UK and when I didn't it was always the next day. Although I have had excellent treatment in Australia too there are much longer waits for hospital admissions. I have to have what is considered an urgent op but despite my GP asking for as fast admission as possible in February I have a consultant's appointment in July and then god knows how long it will be before I have the op. I was rushed through for the same thing within 2 1/2 months in the UK.

Education is another subjective issue depending on where you live. I have found the education for my child poor in Australia compared to what she had in the UK but other people are more than happy with their child's education here.

You clearly still hanker after your Darling Buds of May existence and that's fine but to slate the whole of the UK because the facilities where you live are crap and you can't go to the opera as often as you did is a bit extreme.

Last edited by crystal23; May 11th 2009 at 3:26 am.
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Old May 11th 2009, 2:43 am
  #26  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Gaeller
I have lived in several countries mainly because I could always find better paid work where my contributions were welcomed.

My last domicile was Portugal when my husband retired. We went to an area where there were no ex-pats intending to find out how other people lived and enjoy the culture. We grew our own organic food and enjoyed outdoor life.

Because we both had old parents we returned to help care for them. It was a big wrench leaving but we looked forward to more theatre, music concerts and being able to take up new hobbies. What a shock. The cost of living is horrendous. Unless you can afford to go a trendy restaurant run by a celebrity chef, the food is junk. Added to which the 'big brother' atmosphere is oppressive. The innovative theatre which we loved is now non-existent, and the frequent nights at the opera have turned into a once a year event, replacing a holiday!

Many people find that living abroad involves learning a new language and sad to say a lot of Brits can't. That is insurmountable. If you want a British lifestyle and don't want to join in what the locals have to offer by all means come back. But beware, depending on how long you have been away, things have'nt half changed in the last ten years.
A very strange first post to make...you do realise that most of us are proud to be British and miss our Motherland? I have lived in the US for 13 years and the UK is still the UK I know and love. Everyone and everything moves on...so get used to it. I presume you won't be staying in the UK much longer.
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Old May 11th 2009, 2:43 am
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Grayling
Cheerio then
Dude, that is mean spirited don't you think? A discussion board at the very least should be civil. Not everyone has to agree. It would be a boring world if everyone thought and felt the same.
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Old May 11th 2009, 2:44 am
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by YankeemovingAbroad
Dude, that is mean spirited don't you think? A discussion board at the very least should be civil. Not everyone has to agree. It would be a boring world if everyone thought and felt the same.
Fancy meeting you here.
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Old May 11th 2009, 2:53 am
  #29  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Fancy meeting you here.
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Old May 11th 2009, 2:55 am
  #30  
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Default Re: Returning to the UK - don't

Originally Posted by YankeemovingAbroad
Dude, that is mean spirited don't you think? A discussion board at the very least should be civil. Not everyone has to agree. It would be a boring world if everyone thought and felt the same.
No...if I was being mean spirited I would have simply told them to ***** off
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