rach1015

This is excatly why im not even bothered to check this site for a couple of weeks.
Not one person has followed my story or even seem that they know anything about my case...
If they took the time to read through things properly and stop jumping down my throat then they would know that YES i have met him in person and yes my children are bonded, YES they want to go , YES i know there is only an option of the schools in the surrounding area , i never said i had a choice im saying i need to find out all i can to show the childrens fathers, YES i know its a long time to travel outside the UK and thats why im going for 2 weeks now ...
Doesnt seem one person actualy knows or has even tried to follow what im going through so im not even bothered no more. I joined this site for constructive help, from people who have been through the same thing, not for peoples opinions of wheher what im doing is right or whether i love my OH or children and thats what this has turned into.
I am going to go through LTR if i even have to go down that road as the childrens fathers are reassesing what i have shown them and their decisions, and i am still going to get a visa and have a happy life with my children and my partner.

As for Ians input .. well the less said the better

I didnt realise that people could be so shallow tbh and as one rule for one and another for me seems to be applied on here this may be the last you hear from me , wishing everyone the best

ian-mstm

Good luck to you!


You call it "shallow"... I call it "truth". I suppose it all depends on your point of view.

Ian

EU_Girl

Dear rach1015,
On the one hand, I hear you...it must be a stressful and difficult time for you and you would like to get support. On the other hand, I truly think nobody wanted to hurt you but assist you. People are friendly and helpful here. Ian is one of the best here and he has been only realistic and honest. Sometimes it hurts to hear what you do not want to hear...however this is also part of the constructive help!
I wish you, your kids and OH all the very best!
Regards.

NatashaB

We moved to the US with my stepdaughter recently. Luckily her mother is American and was over the moon to have the chance to move back to be near her family whilst still having regular contact with her daughter, so we had no issues with taking her.

I did however look into what the outcome might be if she changed her mind at any point. I don't think we would have gone ahead with the move if she had done so but I prefer to be fully prepared for anything that might be thrown at us. It seems that the only LTR applications that are successful are those where there is a minimal relationship between the non-resident parent and child, and even in these cases the resident parent not only has to ensure the children can travel back for holidays to visit family - and pay the full cost - but in some instances that I read about, they have been required to fund the father's trips to the new country to visit. You may want to consider detailing how you would set up things like skype to allow them to talk regularly. Sibling relationships also played a big part - they seem reluctant to separate children in the family so this may also go in your favour I guess if at least one of the fathers gives consent. Obviously sending 3 children back and forth will not be cheap, especially since flights will be during school holiday/peak time, so i hope your fiancee is prepared to fund this if you are not working. How will the children fly back and forth - will you fly with them or will they fly as unaccompanied minors? the additional fee for that is not cheap either. I'm not sure that the CSA will continue to enforce any child support agreement once the children move so you would need to ensure you have planned for this, whether they would continue to pay maintenance for the children and how they would send it to you.

If you believe this is the right move for you, I wish you all the best and hopefully the fathers will give their consent so that you don't have to drag your children into a court battle. I would say, however, that leaving them behind for 5 weeks to get married will not be looked upon favourably by the court, and they will need their mother around to support them through the uncertainty of moving. My stepdaughter is very familiar with the US, has family here and has visited at least twice every year since she has born. However there is a big difference between US and UK schools and it has been tough and tiring for her getting to grips with it all. As someone else said there may be a diverse range of cultures in a class but there are unlikely to be any other English children and SD does feel she stands out, luckily that is a good thing to her as she likes to be noticed. They certainly expect a lot more of the children here and they are a lot more independent. So don't underestimate the impact that a move will have on them. In terms of schools we struggled to get them to understand how the UK school system worked so be prepared to set up some sort of communication between the US and UK school so they can decide which grade is best for the kids to go into. My stepdaughter is the youngest in her year but seems to be doing OK and keeping up with everything - just! we did have additional tuition in place if she needed it but so far she hasn't.

Will you be able to enrol onto your fiancee's healthcare coverage? Just something else to think about as children are very accident prone and something you would want to document for any court proceedings to show how you will provide for the children here. We have a good policy but I shudder to think what some of my stepdaughters previous accidents would have cost if she had them here instead of in the UK. My husband pays $300 a month for healthcare, $40 for dental and $10 for prescription coverage and we have still paid out $100 in medical co-pays, $400 in dental co-pays and $50 in prescription costs in the last 6 weeks.

jeepgirluk

I know that you are going through a very stressful time at present and that will certainly affect how you read the posts in this thread. I believe that folks on here have read your posts and you are getting their advice, knowledge or opinion. I don't think it's one rule for you and one rule for everyone else. You are being extremely combative. I know that it's not always what you want to hear. This site is full of helpful advice and information that you will need in the future. If we'd told you what you wanted to hear would you be waving goodbye?

I hope that you get what you want and everything works out for you. Best of luck.

darrenandkelly

I have done all I can. Had trial which was hell, draining and god the adrenalin come down after - not the best! Unwell now feeling susceptible to catch the world's germs! So low, still unknown of outcome as adjourned for judgement so should know by 11feb if not before I hope!!!

Englishmum

TBH I don't know if the O/P will ever return to this thread (maybe she will as a lurker).

It reminds me of a few infamous posters from the past....my favourite was Guinevere (she made 'dream catchers' and 'chain mail' to sell) and one whom I think was 'Sparkster').

One thing which I think is essential though when moving overseas to be with a new partner and one has children; check to see if the partner has a criminal record and absolutely ensure that the person is not on a sex offenders register. I am not saying that Rachel's fiance is a paedophile, but she needs to do this to protect her daughters.