Moving back to UK with Teenagers
Aug 20th 2014, 6:45 am
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Dorset
Posts: 41
Moving back to UK with Teenagers
After a lot of thought and discussions with my wife and kids, we are going to put in motion the process of moving back to the UK after 12 years away.
One complication is my wife isn't British, she's a Kiwi and although she lived in the UK for 12 years we did not even consider getting her British Citizenship when she became eligible. It really frustrates me now at how stupid we were - it didn't occur to us back then the Government would change the Spouse Visa rules so drastically
.
Anyway, what's done is done and so we will have to go through the process of a Spouse Visa or perhaps an Ancestry Visa if we can find her grandfather's documents. Fortunately our children, who are 13 and 16 are British born, even though they have lived overseas most of their lives.
Which brings me to my questions:
1.
Of those of you who took your teenagers to the UK after a long spell overseas, how well did they cope with assimilating to life in Britain?
2.
Is it wrong of us to take them away from what is actually a good life we have here in Brisbane, just because I want them to get to know their UK family and experience life in the 'Old World'?
3.
Am I likely to ruin their lives because of this decision?
My kids are happy to go back at the moment but I worry once we get there and they see that life in the UK can be quite different to living in Australia (especially Brisbane) it will have a negative effect on them. We have been back a few times since leaving but of course, holiday mode was on and they have only seen Britain as tourists.
I will have many more questions as we go through this process and I hope to share with you our progress and add to the already very useful resouces that I have found on here.
All the best,
Ray.
One complication is my wife isn't British, she's a Kiwi and although she lived in the UK for 12 years we did not even consider getting her British Citizenship when she became eligible. It really frustrates me now at how stupid we were - it didn't occur to us back then the Government would change the Spouse Visa rules so drastically
. Anyway, what's done is done and so we will have to go through the process of a Spouse Visa or perhaps an Ancestry Visa if we can find her grandfather's documents. Fortunately our children, who are 13 and 16 are British born, even though they have lived overseas most of their lives.
Which brings me to my questions:
1.
Of those of you who took your teenagers to the UK after a long spell overseas, how well did they cope with assimilating to life in Britain?
2.
Is it wrong of us to take them away from what is actually a good life we have here in Brisbane, just because I want them to get to know their UK family and experience life in the 'Old World'?
3.
Am I likely to ruin their lives because of this decision?
My kids are happy to go back at the moment but I worry once we get there and they see that life in the UK can be quite different to living in Australia (especially Brisbane) it will have a negative effect on them. We have been back a few times since leaving but of course, holiday mode was on and they have only seen Britain as tourists.
I will have many more questions as we go through this process and I hope to share with you our progress and add to the already very useful resouces that I have found on here.
All the best,
Ray.
Aug 20th 2014, 5:51 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Was Torbay, NZ now North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 813
Re: Moving back to UK with Teenagers
After a lot of thought and discussions with my wife and kids, we are going to put in motion the process of moving back to the UK after 12 years away.
One complication is my wife isn't British, she's a Kiwi and although she lived in the UK for 12 years we did not even consider getting her British Citizenship when she became eligible. It really frustrates me now at how stupid we were - it didn't occur to us back then the Government would change the Spouse Visa rules so drastically.
Anyway, what's done is done and so we will have to go through the process of a Spouse Visa or perhaps an Ancestry Visa if we can find her grandfather's documents. Fortunately our children, who are 13 and 16 are British born, even though they have lived overseas most of their lives.
Which brings me to my questions:
1.
Of those of you who took your teenagers to the UK after a long spell overseas, how well did they cope with assimilating to life in Britain?
2.
Is it wrong of us to take them away from what is actually a good life we have here in Brisbane, just because I want them to get to know their UK family and experience life in the 'Old World'?
3.
Am I likely to ruin their lives because of this decision?
My kids are happy to go back at the moment but I worry once we get there and they see that life in the UK can be quite different to living in Australia (especially Brisbane) it will have a negative effect on them. We have been back a few times since leaving but of course, holiday mode was on and they have only seen Britain as tourists.
I will have many more questions as we go through this process and I hope to share with you our progress and add to the already very useful resouces that I have found on here.
All the best,
Ray.
One complication is my wife isn't British, she's a Kiwi and although she lived in the UK for 12 years we did not even consider getting her British Citizenship when she became eligible. It really frustrates me now at how stupid we were - it didn't occur to us back then the Government would change the Spouse Visa rules so drastically
. Anyway, what's done is done and so we will have to go through the process of a Spouse Visa or perhaps an Ancestry Visa if we can find her grandfather's documents. Fortunately our children, who are 13 and 16 are British born, even though they have lived overseas most of their lives.
Which brings me to my questions:
1.
Of those of you who took your teenagers to the UK after a long spell overseas, how well did they cope with assimilating to life in Britain?
2.
Is it wrong of us to take them away from what is actually a good life we have here in Brisbane, just because I want them to get to know their UK family and experience life in the 'Old World'?
3.
Am I likely to ruin their lives because of this decision?
My kids are happy to go back at the moment but I worry once we get there and they see that life in the UK can be quite different to living in Australia (especially Brisbane) it will have a negative effect on them. We have been back a few times since leaving but of course, holiday mode was on and they have only seen Britain as tourists.
I will have many more questions as we go through this process and I hope to share with you our progress and add to the already very useful resouces that I have found on here.
All the best,
Ray.
We moved to NZ when our children were 7, 12 and 14. We decided it was now or never with there ages and chance of the older two meeting someone and not wanting to move.
They all just got on with school and after a while made friends etc and life was ok. Anyhow after 3 years we decided we wanted to return mainly due to the high cost of things and the education system. When we mentioned it to our 16yr old who had just started dating her first bf she asked us to wait. Incase he was "the one" fast forward 3 long years, we were still wanting to leave and they were still together. She is now at uni there living with my father in law and we returned without her. It was a desperately hard decision but we had to do it.
So I guess my question would be, there happy to go now, if you don't go will you start to regret it?
If you leave it much longer your 16 year old will not have the time to get home fees if they want to go to uni (3 yr residency rule)
Finally on returning our then 19 yr old went to sixth form college, made friends enjoyed it no problems and our then 13 yr old went into year 8 at high school and never had any problems and has got on great.
We moved to a totally different area so everything was new and except for missing our daughter don't regret coming back at all.
Good Luck
Aug 21st 2014, 1:26 am
#3
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Dorset
Posts: 41
Re: Moving back to UK with Teenagers
Hi Spacecake799,
Thanks for your reply. It's a small world, we lived in Torbay for 5 years, our kids went to Glamorgan Kindy and Primary school. We loved it there but as you mentioned, I was blown away by how expensive things were in NZ. Even my wife who's a born and bred New Zealander was surprised how hard it was to make ends meet and I was on an above average wage! We had a good lifestyle, but we felt very isolated, nationally because it takes so long to drive anywhere over there and internationally because of the high cost of air travel. So after 5 years we decided to move to Brisbane before the kids started High School. Although my wife has her sister here, we didn't know anyone else but we felt we had joined the world community again, international travel is cheaper than NZ, wages higher, groceries and fuel cheaper etc. We all made friends quickly and we were (and still are to certain extent) happy and it was all good until a couple of years ago when terrible homesickness (the expat sickness) hit me-the realisation that I had missed a decade of my family in Britain getting older, they had missed my children growing up, despite skype calls and trips to the UK. Add to that, the feeling of not belonging, as many people on here have mentioned. I know Australia will never be my true home and I don't want another decade to go by then realise it's probably too late to return.
It makes me feel better reading your reply that your kids took to British life without any issues. Though we have been away longer, I think/hope my kids will as well, I've always thought they're more British than Aussie or Kiwi anyway, but then I'm biased
I do believe it is the right time to move, not just believe but feel, almost instinctively we've got to go. It's the thought of knowing what's involved and the not knowing if we're doing the right thing has been holding us back from doing it. But reading your comments and the accounts of others of how happy you all are to be back is giving me the confidence to take the plunge. I know I will regret if we don't.
Thanks for your reply. It's a small world, we lived in Torbay for 5 years, our kids went to Glamorgan Kindy and Primary school. We loved it there but as you mentioned, I was blown away by how expensive things were in NZ. Even my wife who's a born and bred New Zealander was surprised how hard it was to make ends meet and I was on an above average wage! We had a good lifestyle, but we felt very isolated, nationally because it takes so long to drive anywhere over there and internationally because of the high cost of air travel. So after 5 years we decided to move to Brisbane before the kids started High School. Although my wife has her sister here, we didn't know anyone else but we felt we had joined the world community again, international travel is cheaper than NZ, wages higher, groceries and fuel cheaper etc. We all made friends quickly and we were (and still are to certain extent) happy and it was all good until a couple of years ago when terrible homesickness (the expat sickness) hit me-the realisation that I had missed a decade of my family in Britain getting older, they had missed my children growing up, despite skype calls and trips to the UK. Add to that, the feeling of not belonging, as many people on here have mentioned. I know Australia will never be my true home and I don't want another decade to go by then realise it's probably too late to return.
It makes me feel better reading your reply that your kids took to British life without any issues. Though we have been away longer, I think/hope my kids will as well, I've always thought they're more British than Aussie or Kiwi anyway, but then I'm biased
I do believe it is the right time to move, not just believe but feel, almost instinctively we've got to go. It's the thought of knowing what's involved and the not knowing if we're doing the right thing has been holding us back from doing it. But reading your comments and the accounts of others of how happy you all are to be back is giving me the confidence to take the plunge. I know I will regret if we don't.
Aug 21st 2014, 11:00 am
#4
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Was Torbay, NZ now North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 813
Re: Moving back to UK with Teenagers
Hi Spacecake799,
Thanks for your reply. It's a small world, we lived in Torbay for 5 years, our kids went to Glamorgan Kindy and Primary school. We loved it there but as you mentioned, I was blown away by how expensive things were in NZ. Even my wife who's a born and bred New Zealander was surprised how hard it was to make ends meet and I was on an above average wage! We had a good lifestyle, but we felt very isolated, nationally because it takes so long to drive anywhere over there and internationally because of the high cost of air travel. So after 5 years we decided to move to Brisbane before the kids started High School. Although my wife has her sister here, we didn't know anyone else but we felt we had joined the world community again, international travel is cheaper than NZ, wages higher, groceries and fuel cheaper etc. We all made friends quickly and we were (and still are to certain extent) happy and it was all good until a couple of years ago when terrible homesickness (the expat sickness) hit me-the realisation that I had missed a decade of my family in Britain getting older, they had missed my children growing up, despite skype calls and trips to the UK. Add to that, the feeling of not belonging, as many people on here have mentioned. I know Australia will never be my true home and I don't want another decade to go by then realise it's probably too late to return.
It makes me feel better reading your reply that your kids took to British life without any issues. Though we have been away longer, I think/hope my kids will as well, I've always thought they're more British than Aussie or Kiwi anyway, but then I'm biased
I do believe it is the right time to move, not just believe but feel, almost instinctively we've got to go. It's the thought of knowing what's involved and the not knowing if we're doing the right thing has been holding us back from doing it. But reading your comments and the accounts of others of how happy you all are to be back is giving me the confidence to take the plunge. I know I will regret if we don't.
Thanks for your reply. It's a small world, we lived in Torbay for 5 years, our kids went to Glamorgan Kindy and Primary school. We loved it there but as you mentioned, I was blown away by how expensive things were in NZ. Even my wife who's a born and bred New Zealander was surprised how hard it was to make ends meet and I was on an above average wage! We had a good lifestyle, but we felt very isolated, nationally because it takes so long to drive anywhere over there and internationally because of the high cost of air travel. So after 5 years we decided to move to Brisbane before the kids started High School. Although my wife has her sister here, we didn't know anyone else but we felt we had joined the world community again, international travel is cheaper than NZ, wages higher, groceries and fuel cheaper etc. We all made friends quickly and we were (and still are to certain extent) happy and it was all good until a couple of years ago when terrible homesickness (the expat sickness) hit me-the realisation that I had missed a decade of my family in Britain getting older, they had missed my children growing up, despite skype calls and trips to the UK. Add to that, the feeling of not belonging, as many people on here have mentioned. I know Australia will never be my true home and I don't want another decade to go by then realise it's probably too late to return.
It makes me feel better reading your reply that your kids took to British life without any issues. Though we have been away longer, I think/hope my kids will as well, I've always thought they're more British than Aussie or Kiwi anyway, but then I'm biased
I do believe it is the right time to move, not just believe but feel, almost instinctively we've got to go. It's the thought of knowing what's involved and the not knowing if we're doing the right thing has been holding us back from doing it. But reading your comments and the accounts of others of how happy you all are to be back is giving me the confidence to take the plunge. I know I will regret if we don't.
Hi ray
My youngest went to Glamorgan, I have to say I was very disappointed with the schooling my daughters parents evening at long bay was the decider but as I say we got stuck! My husband was on a good wage but everything was still so expensive and we knew if we didn't come home we would never afford to go home to visit our very small family. The children would certainly potentially not see grand parents again. I wasn't willing to let that happen. I also remember walking down the street one day and thinking if I stay here I may never visit france again or other places in Europe, I think that's when I realised I was not going to stay there forever.
I admit I found it easy to sell up and move to NZ but it was so much harder moving back. It's so much easier to just stick with what you know and not rock the boat again.
We found moving to a totally new area in the UK worked for us and we picked that based on the size of the school etc for our youngest.
Good luck with your desision
Aug 22nd 2014, 1:55 am
#5
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Dorset
Posts: 41
Re: Moving back to UK with Teenagers
Thanks
.
Our kids were preschool age when we moved to NZ so we couldn't compare the standards of the NZ education system to the UK but we found a drop in quality of education when we moved to Queensland. But we weren't in a position to move again so we made sure we got our kids into the best schools in the area. One good thing about living here is there are no zoning issues.
Maybe it's because I'm older now but I am finding it a lot more stressful planning a move back to the UK than I did when we moved to NZ or Australia. maybe it's because I know this will be our last move and need to make sure we get it right. Going to NZ and Australia always felt more like an adventure and if it didn't work out then at least we've given it a go.
I also desperately miss having Europe on our doorstep. We were always having inexpensive short spur of the moment trips to France or Spain.
Our plan is also to move somewhere totally different to where we lived before (Hemel Hempstead). We're looking at Dorset or the West Country. We want to avoid big Cities if we can.
I'd be interested in hearing other people's experiences or advice regarding moving overseas with teenagers.
.Our kids were preschool age when we moved to NZ so we couldn't compare the standards of the NZ education system to the UK but we found a drop in quality of education when we moved to Queensland. But we weren't in a position to move again so we made sure we got our kids into the best schools in the area. One good thing about living here is there are no zoning issues.
Maybe it's because I'm older now but I am finding it a lot more stressful planning a move back to the UK than I did when we moved to NZ or Australia. maybe it's because I know this will be our last move and need to make sure we get it right. Going to NZ and Australia always felt more like an adventure and if it didn't work out then at least we've given it a go.
I also desperately miss having Europe on our doorstep. We were always having inexpensive short spur of the moment trips to France or Spain.
Our plan is also to move somewhere totally different to where we lived before (Hemel Hempstead). We're looking at Dorset or the West Country. We want to avoid big Cities if we can.
I'd be interested in hearing other people's experiences or advice regarding moving overseas with teenagers.
