pommybird

As someone who experienced some quite oppressive parenting at times I would say be cautious about forcing a 15 year old to do anything - is there anyone you would trust to look after him where you are now if you moved back without him - I think a lot also depends on him - some teenagers at 15 are still very much a child whereas others are very mature and sensible and almost adults - you know you're son best, do you think he is mature enough to cope without you?

What a lovely Mum you are - must have been really hard leaving her back in the UK but you did it for her. Anyway you'll be reunited soon

Welcome back to BE Britvic, lovely to see you back here, did you move back to the US for your son? Hope things work out for you there this time

ShozInOz

Fifteen can be a very difficult time emotionally with lots of changes going on, yet fifteen year olds can be very mature too (I was!). So forcing him to do something against his will could have damaging effects on him and your relationship. In the circumstances, I would honestly say think about waiting a few years. State that it is what you would like, sure, without making him feel guilty. It may say a lot to him about how you feel about him that you will not force or coerce him, i.e. he may feel respected and valued. You don't have to abandon the idea, but it seems there could be too much to lose to move with children of that age - an age that rarely seems to adapt to major changes because there are so many changes already going on for them.

Pugsy

At the end of the day, in a few years, your sons will be grown and living their own lives wherever, you'll be lucky if you see them once a week! You must do what is best for YOU, the compromise for unhappy son, is that he can always come back. This worked for my family when we were younger, except my 15 year old brother actually loved his new life, went back for a holiday, expecting not to come back to us... but did happily.

bil

Be pretty damn careful about coercion and trickery. They could cost you dear.

My advice, for what it's worth would be as follows. Listen to what the previous poster said, and wait till he is 18. Then negotiate as between adults. I know he may not seem to be in your eyes, but in his he will be.

jumping doris

We moved our children over here (USA) when they were 10,14 and 16.
The 16 year old wasn't over keen but at the end of the day the decision was ours.
I know they seem grown up at 15, 16, 17 but often they're not really.
She loves it here and wouldn't go back at the moment. She wants to get her citizenship when it's time so that she can travel freely.

JAJ

No, that is not always possible.

Pugsy

I was more thinking a mindset kind of way, in other words as an adult he can live his life, make plans, set goals and do what he wants, wasn't referring to red tape as such.

kelbelinoz

Sorry to hear about your dilemma, a very hard situation to be in. I really think that you are thinking of your boys, giving them a real opportunity to try something new. Perhaps you are going to have to compromise with him. At the end of the day will he be able to live here without you? I doubt it, you should start putting the ball in play and he will come around. The worst case senario is that he hates uk and wants to return, but he should at least try......it could be the best thing for him. He probably is very scared as most teenagers are of change and separation from their friends, who at this age are more important than parents!!

Maybe you could put a time line on it like others on this thread have advised, that way he won't feel like there's no other choice. Also you could try and encourage him by looking on the internet for all the things that you will be able to do.

Tell him that you really want you all as 3 to have one last adventure for your memory bank as soon enough he will leaving home and out in the big wide world on his own.

Good luck anyway, I'm sure he will come around, just scared of not being socially accepted. Tell him we all love Aussies in uk. He will be like a celebrity with the girls!!!

Nu-Shooz

Why did you quote me

Pugsy

That's for sure, better still if they can play rugby or footie, encourage them to join the local club, or school club, they'll make loads of mates.

You know there are plenty of UK surf towns, where you can surf, windsurf, kiteboard, etc. In my neck of the woods, the surf is great and you cannot swing a cat for all the surf shops with all your ozzie and california brands. Obviously you've not got the weather, but that's what the Med's for.

If you do come and they go to Uni later. It will be a fantastic experience for them, as British Uni's are filled with internationals, they will soak it up.

Kath & Graham

Mine hated living in Perth when we moved her out there at 15 but loved it by the time we left last year (she is 18 now). She has stayed in Oz and we miss her terribly. I dont know what to say, this is a hard one, he is too young to stay there but old enough to make his own mind up, maybe compromise is the only way, ask him to come back and if he hates it tell him when he is 17/18 he can go back, there is going to come a time when one of you is gonna have to give.

Good luck

kelbelinoz

because im A MUPPET and clicked on wrong box!!! forgive me?!!

AHamm

I agree with those who advise waiting until he's 18. It may mean a couple more unhappy years for you, but as parents we sometimes have to make sacrifices in the best interests of our children.

bil

You could use the next three years to try really hard and find at least something nice about where you are.

That way if you still think it's time to go home in three years time, you will at least have some happy memories to take with you.