jonpolley

Hello,

I wonder if anyone can give me practical advice about moving back to the UK. I have contacted citizens advice, local authorities etc and I am getting lots of conflicting information.

So.. the situation.

I have been living and working in Spain for three years now. My marriage has recently broken down leaving me looking after my two young children aged 2 and 6 on my own.

For the past three months I have continued to work and basically spent all of my pay on child care and lived on savings/credit cards. I did have an Au Pair starting, who then did not turn up.

This leaves me in a situation where I cannot afford to pay for childcare so I cannot go to work, so I really cannot remain here anymore. Forcing me to return to the UK. (I am hopefully going to get signed off work tomorrow so I can stave off getting sacked and save up some money...)

I have no money left, I have no real family in the UK.

What do I do? How do I go about claiming benefits? It seems unlikely that I can secure work that will cover any child care costs immediately upon return?
Nor do I have any money for accommodation.
I have no target destination for the UK and am open to living pretty much anywhere.

I should also add my eldest child is severely autistic and has special needs.

I just want the world to swallow me up right now, but it's not an option.

Any advice or experiences from people who have been in similar situations would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

scot47

Turning up in the UK and claiming benefits straight away might not be possible. If no housing is available to you then the situation would be doubly stressful.

You could try to use the Homeless Legislation but there is always the danger that yoiu will be considered to be "intentionally homeless"

You say that you have no "real family" in this country. Maybe you should approach all of them and ask for help.

Accommodation is the first problem to overcome.

spouse of scouse

I'm so sorry to read of the terrible time you're having. I'm an Aussie expat living in the UK on a spouse visa, so I don't have the knowledge to help with the info you're looking for, but I hope others will come along with some suggestions.

It must be very difficult trying to care for your two young boys without affordable child care, and having had some experience with autism I realise the additional issues that brings. Your boys are lucky to have you.

Would it be any use to repost in the Spain forum, just in case there's some form of assistance with the kids that you're not aware of?

Take the best care of yourself that you can and I really hope that things pick up for you very soon.

BritInParis

If you cannot work and look after your children in Spain, surely the same problem will occur in the UK? Unless there is a support network to head home for I think you'll just be moving your problem from Spain to the UK. Bear in mind that most UK benefits won't be available to you for the first three months after you return.

Your other issue is that you cannot leave the country with your children without the mother's permission. Where is she now? If you have been left with the children then she should be liable for child support.

jonpolley

Yes I will be moving the problem back to the UK, but I understand the British systems much better, I am obviously fluent in English, my Spanish while conversational does not really do the job when I need to discuss technical issues with officials.

The mother has already returned to the UK, she doesn't want much to do with the anyway. And although I should be liable for child support, if she is earning under a certain threshold, which she is then I get nothing.

I know I will not get certain benefits for three months (hell in the case of Disability living allowance for my son, I will not get it for two years)

However as with all things, there is flexibility depending of personal circumstances.

scot47

CAB or other Welfare Rights Advice Service, Get a good one - there are lots out there giving duff advice.

Cindyf67

Hi, I am sorry to hear of your despair. There is always an answer so try and keep positive. I have attached this link Your rights country by country - Employment, Social Affairs & Inclusion - European Commission. Click on the Spanish flag to find out about your pension rights, unemployment benefits, family benefits and other social security rights in Spain, you may be eligible for help. As said above, you will need advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau, there is also the Free Representation Unit ("FRU"), FRU | Free Representation Unit they provide representation in social security for people not eligible for legal aid and cannot afford lawyers. All of their representatives are trained and supervised by their legal officers.


I really hope you get this sorted and please don't despair too much, there is always an answer. I am usually only a "viewer" on here but your post caught my eye. The posters on this forum are so helpful.

scot47

FRU state "We can only assist you if:

You have a hearing date at a tribunal in London and the South East (or Nottingham);
Your case is referred to us by one of our referral agencies. We cannot take referrals directly from a member of the public."

holly_1948

If the mother is in the UK then it is hard to see how she would have a case objecting to bringing the children to the UK. But maybe, since child protection agencies are not known for doing the sane and sensible thing. Common sense is not exactly their strong suit.

jonpolley

The mother wants me to move back!

BritInParis

If the mother is in agreement then there is no issue but that wasn't mentioned in the OP's first post.

SanDiegogirl

So what is to prevent her either a) providing child support if working or b) looking after the children while you work?