feelbritish

Is your father disabled as well? You mentioned he was only in his 60's. You are also still young. Is he not able to bath and care for your mother? My OH is 67 and I am 61 and if I was ill even long term he would have to care for me because like you and others we have assets and would not get carers either. Nor has it even crossed our minds and we have no children to take care of us. In your home are you able to do the cooking and cleaning? Forgive me for asking this but I am really puzzled. If you and your father cannot do this why are you both not able to go to work so as to afford carers to look after your mom during the day?

DayPerson

No dad is not disabled but he has not been doing the washing side of mum, it has been left to me and I could not cope with it a year ago. He would not be able to do a good job anyway, mums concentration is much worse now and I cannot do it. I have looked for a job but cannot find one due to the long gap (9 years while I was sick, had surgery and wrote this app we are trying to get out). If he goes back, the app will go in the bin and I will have to look for a full time job to support myself because I won't be able to do the app and a full time job.

EuroTrash

... because ... ?

DayPerson

Mum does not like male carer so she would not like dad washing her. Also he lacks the patience to do the tasks and wait to do it at her speed, he would shout at her a lot like he does the rest of the time.

spouse of scouse

Seems to me that Day Person's father has had his options explained to him over and over again - there's just not an option he likes. DP has said a fair bit about her father, he's stubborn, he shouts at his wife, he brought her from France to the UK, he's planning to take her back to France from the UK, he doesn't think he should have to pay for his wife's care (although half of the marriage's asset are actually his wife's) - this doesn't sound like a situation that's going to be fixed by repeating his options yet again. If the only option that's acceptable to him is free care, and if that's not available to him, then there isn't really anywhere else to go.

I think you're doing Day Person a disservice by your blanket condemnation of court protection orders. Unless you can point me to evidence to the contrary, I very much doubt that every person who's had dealings with them have found them to be a nightmare. Court protection orders are there for the benefit of vulnerable people such as DP's mother. They're a last resort when all else has failed, and so far, all else has failed and this woman is not getting the care she needs. That's my point - this situation isn't about what her father needs, or what DP needs, it's about what his wife and her mother need. If there's no one willing or able to give this care, then the court should and will step in.

dmu

Glad to hear that the Social and Health Representatives are aware of the situation and have virtually given an ultimatum.
Your Mum's well-being/health should take priority and this hasn't been the case for some time. I doubt that we can advise more than we have done already on the French side, but don't hesitate to come back on the France forum if you're not sure of the procedure for selling the house. Your parents don't need to come over for the signatures, they can give Procuration to you or the Clerc du Notaire, but this does involve a lot of paperwork... The Notaire will explain all...

scot47

Have you applied for Attendance Allowance for your mother ?

https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

She probably. qualifies for the Higher rate Once in receipt of that a family acrer - your or her husband or another, can apply fro Carer's Allowance.

Editha

Dad won't get carer's allowance if he is over pension age.

Correction. I went back through the thread and see he is only 63, so still eligible.

scot47

The applicant for Carers Allowance can be anyone - OP ? Or another family member or friend.

You have to get the Attendance Allowance in place first, though.

DayPerson

I can't get either (daughter or husband) because the rules are you have to have been in the UK for the last 2 out of 3 years.

Mums back in hospital, another kidney infection we think

dmu

So sorry to hear this, but the situation must be giving your father food for thought? Better for her to be in an English-speaking environment than in a French hospital without being able to communicate, and no immediate aid for himself, either, when she returns home....

scot47

On Attendance Allowance I overlooked the requirement that the claimant must have spent 2 our of the last 3 years in GB. Sorry !

Editha

Apply for NHS Continuing Healthcare. Your mother will be entitled to it without a waiting period or a means test. It could pay her care home fees.