Jo1973

I am dreaming of the day I can go back home, I feel fed up and depressed over here, no friends, no family, I have become a lazy sod, anyway...

If we wanted to return to the UK, Me, Hubby and daughter (Hubby is US Cit, Daughter is duel but only has US p/port, me UK Cit, not duel), how or what would we need to get back to the UK?

We wouldn't have anywhere to stay and we probably wouldn't have any savings/money but the desire to get back home is eating ME up.

I can't really expalin how I feel, but sometimes I can cause an argument with hubby so he may get fed up with me and leave me, which would leave me to flee back home lol, I know it sounds bad, but I love my hubby dearly and would hate to leave him, but just so darn depressed and bored to tears.

We live in the middle of nowhere, there's nowt to do, nothing nearby, 30 - 45 mins away from anything fun, hubby not a socialiser but talks to anyone, me a socaialiser but will only talk to peeps I know, daughter not able to talk yet lol.

Has anyone else felt like this? I used to love it here, but since daughter was born feel so isolated (except when I go to work), she doesn't go to nursery or playschool yet and is babysat by MIL.

KerinaK2008

Hey,

I just wanted to say, I can really relate to how you are feeling. I dont have any children though, but understand that feeling of isolation and no fam and friends and wanting to go home.

Sometimes i feel so selfish and just want to book a ticket to home even without hubby just to go back. I love him too bits too but sometimes it just eats you up so much. I live an area that is not so great and not much to do socially. You also need a car and as my husband is the main driver it is hard to get around. I take transit only when i really have to! We are moving this week more into the heart of the city renting for a while and i am hoping things get a bit better. This is all hopefully temporary though as i still dream to go back home too and my husband is now on and off with the idea. But hoping once we do some more visits to Uk of potential areas, i can convince him. But while the waiting and planning continues you got to try and make yourself happy for now.


All i can say is keep your chin up. Do you drive where you are? Maybe there are some mother and baby groups you can join? PM me if you want.

Silverdragon102

You may want to consider before you leave the US on getting your USC sorted. Another thing may be go back for a holiday and see whether you can settle or not. If you live in the middle of nowhere it could be the cause of how you are feeling especially if you are not getting out much. Any chance of moving to another part of the US or state?

Jo1973

Thank you for your replies.

Kerina - Thanks for that. I do drive, tried the mother baby thing but most of their meet ups tend to be during the week (whilst I am at work) so was never able to meet up - I need to get a hobby of some sort but nothing really interests me. I sound so boring lol, hubby can be quite boring and lazy too which doesn't help me.

Silverdragon - I had thought about moving, but if we moved closer to the City (and it's not exactly an exciting place to go to and relatively high in crime) it would cost more, where we are now is within 30 minutes drive to work and convenient to drop daughter off at MIL's.

I suppose it could be some post natal depression because before that I didn't really mind lol. (Daughter was born in Dec 2007.)

About the USC thing, I have been weighing whether to get it or not, plus it's an expense that we can't really afford at the moment plus if we do ever make it to the UK not sure I want to file taxes every year.

I was last back in the UK in Jan this year, loved it being back there but was glad to come back here, back to normality again and the use of the car lol, doesn't help that you have to work forever to get a few weeks vacation over here.

Thanks for letting me air this.

I am just waiting for either us or my mum to win the lottery lol.

The grass seems very green on both sides you know.

scrubbedexpat094

Jo, so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I think you may be suffering from Postnatal depression (I'm a midwife, though not practising anymore). Please get yourself to your Dr. & get checked out love. My heart goes out to you.
Best wishes.

Jo1973

Thanks for that Vitals,

I will think about seeing a doctor but don't want to end up being reliant on pills.

scrubbedexpat094

You're welcome Jo. It may be that you need a chemical boost for a few months. The majority of women with PND are not on anti-depressants long term, usually 3-6 months once the condition has improved. Your GP may suggest counselling as the way to go & this has been shown to be very beneficial in the treatment of PND.

Wish I could give you a BIG HUG in person, a cyber one will have to do I'm afraid