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Decision made - time to go back

Decision made - time to go back

Old Jul 20th 2014, 12:14 am
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Default Decision made - time to go back

Well we have known that things haven't been right in Australia for probably a year and a half at least.

I think my wife and I have been a bit in denial and trying to make the best of it with the hope that the feelings will pass and we will finally settle. We have even been through the stage where we said to ourselves 'this is it, this is home and we need to make it work' but this didn't help as the feelings still resurfaced only to procrastinate on things even more.

Suppressing the feelings of not being happy as a family in Australia and procrastinating on this has taken its toll on our marriage and there have been a few arguments and unfair blame being banded around, especially as this is not the first time we have relocated overseas from the UK. Communication as a family on this issue has been terrible.

But finally now the reality has hit that we made a mistake 3.5 years ago and openly admitting this mistake with out apportioning blame feels like a weight off all of our shoulders.

What stands ahead is daunting when I think of everything we need to do but I would rather face this daunting prospect than to continue to live as we were. At least our son is still only 6 and in his first proper year at school, he sees these things as an adventure still and hasn't yet formed close friendship bonds.

It is with a sad heart that we make this decision to leave Australia, but time to looked forward and get busy and excited
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Old Jul 20th 2014, 12:21 am
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Default Re: Decision made - time to go back

Good luck with your plans it is exciting and can be daunting too , we went back in 2009 but only stayed one year due to the terrible situation with jobs back neither of us could get any work in a year so came back to OZ . That was four years ago although I still would love to go back but next time would be in retirement !
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Old Jul 20th 2014, 6:36 am
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Default Re: Decision made - time to go back

It must be hard when you figure that a dream you had just isn't measuring up - don't think of it as a failure (there's nothing in the rule book that says you have to either love or live in Aus forever) or a disaster (it was the best decision made on the day with all the information you had available). So, it isn't working - no worries, look at all the information you have available today and make another decision! As we go through life we are constantly making decisions about the directions our lives will turn, sometimes they are brilliant, sometimes they are crap but all we can do is readjust to meet the prevailing conditions.

At the end of the day, it's the people in your life that mean the most, so making sure the people are safe, happy and healthy should drive what you do. I'm so sorry that you feel things have gone pear shaped but, honestly, the blame game is a waste of energy! Onwards and upwards together (don't think of it as "going back" you can never do that!). Good luck with the next step in your life adventure!
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Old Jul 20th 2014, 7:36 am
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Default Re: Decision made - time to go back

good luck, you must be feeling a bit like a weight has been lifted. Not knowing and struggling with it can take a toll, but now you have decided you can breathe a sigh of relief and get down to making it happen. All the best I hope it works out.
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Old Jul 20th 2014, 2:29 pm
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Default Re: Decision made - time to go back

Originally Posted by Jon77
Well we have known that things haven't been right in Australia for probably a year and a half at least.

I think my wife and I have been a bit in denial and trying to make the best of it with the hope that the feelings will pass and we will finally settle. We have even been through the stage where we said to ourselves 'this is it, this is home and we need to make it work' but this didn't help as the feelings still resurfaced only to procrastinate on things even more.

Suppressing the feelings of not being happy as a family in Australia and procrastinating on this has taken its toll on our marriage and there have been a few arguments and unfair blame being banded around, especially as this is not the first time we have relocated overseas from the UK. Communication as a family on this issue has been terrible.

But finally now the reality has hit that we made a mistake 3.5 years ago and openly admitting this mistake with out apportioning blame feels like a weight off all of our shoulders.

What stands ahead is daunting when I think of everything we need to do but I would rather face this daunting prospect than to continue to live as we were. At least our son is still only 6 and in his first proper year at school, he sees these things as an adventure still and hasn't yet formed close friendship bonds.

It is with a sad heart that we make this decision to leave Australia, but time to looked forward and get busy and excited
Hi Jon - although it must have been very difficult to reach this stage, it's great that you and your wife have such a strong relationship that enables you to now talk openly and honestly about this. You both gave Oz a good chance and your best shot, and while I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you I'm happy that you've both made the decision to go back, it's obviously the right one for you both.

You'll get through the move ok, just take it a step at a time. Wishing you and your family a bright and happy future
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Old Jul 20th 2014, 6:31 pm
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Default Re: Decision made - time to go back

I know it must be difficult but rest assured there are many stories like this here and outside of this forum. The good thing is you are not staying stuck and are open to making that change.

I feel like we had to go through this journey to realize how much we love the UK, so when we get there we will appreciate every single thing.

Counting down to Spring 2015… England here we come! See you on the other side.
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Old Jul 20th 2014, 11:05 pm
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Default Re: Decision made - time to go back

Thanks all for the supportive comments

Must say it is very strange feeling now we have come to this decision as all of our focus is now towards this.

First jobs this week are to get our CV's updated and make a few contacts with those back in England who might be able to fix some work up. Even if fixed term part time stuff to begin with.

We already have a fair idea of where we will be going back to in the UK.

We have no house to sell fortunately as we never got that far! And our savings are substantial enough.

We have given ourselves 12 months to work on this and try and make it at smooth as possible. But it may come down to just having to get on with it regardless.
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