mellowred

That is good to know Editha ... so I can budget on the lower rate. Just have to make sure to make provision for the tax and not spend it all .

mellowred

100% agreed Editha. It does not seem safe to leave a person with dementia in the care of one person. There are just too many con-men and very strange people out there and a person with dementia is not in a position to be able to clearly state if/how they are being abused or taken advantage of.

I have a strong feeling that Christie's place you with a person for a maximum of two weeks at a time. This could be a good policy, as longer terms could lead to not-so-sound of mind people being taken in by a winning smile that is looking after them full-time.

Dad's dementia was temporary, but he came out with the strangest things and answered any questions I asked him as if he was totally lucid. The strangest thing was that for a short time he believed he was a black man. He was confused that I was white. He was also concerned about the "children" and wanted to know if they were with my mum or with his 2nd wife. Somewhere in that world, he had an extra son and we were all toddlers. Amazing just what the mind can do.

Editha

Well good luck! I hope it works out for you.

spouse of scouse

I think you meant to say 'a mine of information'. A minefield would be a bit risky!

mellowred

Thanks Editha, and all the best to you with your Mum.

Ooops ... ... I always say it that way SpouseofScouse ... but being a Sagittarian it is expected of me to open my mouth to change feet

Sorry Editha, did not mean to imply that you are blasting up the fields ... but lucky for me you did get that.

Don't think I'll use that phrase again ... ever.

spouse of scouse

Hey, don't worry about it. A lot of people say 'mindfield' - and they've lived in the UK or Australia all their lives!

Mary58

Hi Mellowred and all other exies. I am 57, British by birth but spent 32 years in South Africa, returned to UK in Jan of this year. My friend who is of Polish decent is arriving in UK in October and is coming over to start work as a Carer with an agency in Kent. I could ask her if I can give her email to you for info if you would like.

I arrived when it was cold, I struggled a bit but not too badly, however, I did end up in hospital after being her 2 weeks with a bad bout of pneumonia, the only thing that I could think of at that time was thank goodness I am covered by the National Health because the cost of my care would have been the end of me in SA.

So, if you have any questions ask away. I have found work with Barclays Bank and am loving it.

As long as you make the move with open eyes, with excitement in your hearts that the challenge will be worth it then you will be ok.

mellowred

Hi Mary58. Nice to meet someone who has a very similar situation. And with such a lovely positive outlook.

January is one of the worst months isn't it? So if you survived that you must be well away.

I've read through several links provided by the forum members and it does seem that NH is available from day one. Reassuring to know - we don't expect to need health care, but your bout of pneumonia proves otherwise.

FeelBritish kindly sent me the names of 3 care agencies which I am looking into, but the more the better. Did your friend apply (and get accepted) from SA?

At 57, you will fully understand the dilemma of finding a job here in SA. I think 40 is generally the maximum age considered employable. Very comforting to know you secured a job at Barclays. I have no formal qualifications, just 30 odd years of experience, which will be a problem when entering the job market again.

A vague plan is forming. First step is to clutch that lovely British passport in my hands.

You may regret saying this:


Many thanks
Mandy

Mary58

Yep Mellow, there was no way I was finding a job in SA.. White... way past my prime according to the powers that be... not fully bilingual in 20 different languages... but hey I can swear in Afrikaans with the best of them.... so my options were not limited they were non existent... Sad, because I love(d) SA, but loving the country did not pay the bills, it did not put food on the table...

we arrived in UK on Thursday 16th Jan, all of us came down with the Nova virus on the Sunday, by all I mean the 5 of us that arrived, (myself, my daughter, my son in law a 2.5 year old and a 5 month old) we moved in with my other daughter, son in law and a 3.5 year old grandson.... so I bathroom with 5 adults and 3 children with a full dose of jippo.... two trips to emergency with the children.... survived after 3 days.... then I got a sore throat... 3 days.... then I started to cough.... 3 days later called emergency services.... attendant arrange for me to go to outpatients.... doc said just bad cough chest is fine.... heres antibiotics bye bye..... hmmmm I have had the dreaded pneumonia before and I knew it was not just a cough..... oldest daughter, son in law and 3.5 year old leave for USA on the Wednesday..... cough gets worse, trouble breathing.... panic sets in.... Monday morning I call other daughter.... well... made my self heard by throwing shoe at door.... bring phone call 999.... I am not going to live much longer..... well... of course you then tell 999 operator you have just returned from SOUTH AFRICA.... and all hell breaks loose..... NO not from WEST AFRICA... SOUTH AFRICA..... Ambulance men arrive.... looking like they were dressed for NUCLEAR eruption... masks, gloves the whole bang shoot..... after assuring them I was not suffering from EBOLA, they agreed to put me in ambulance and transport me to University Hospital in Coventry (I used to work there).... Leaving a frantic daughter who was now in a country she didn't know with no sister to turn too... I am carried into ambulance in nothing more than my dressing gown, pair of knickers and slippers.. clutching my handbag and cell phone.... Jaimie says 'what now' I say don't panic I will get a taxi home...... well 5 days in high care, and a further 3 days on the ward... I eventually believed that I may infact live. 5 hours in Resuss, was an experience, as again I have to convince people I do not have EBOLA.... chest xrays showed a pair of white blobs staring back at us.... yeah well if that's not pneumonia, what is..... I can without a doubt say that yes there is a sad decline in the national health system, but what there is NOT, is a decline in the care and understanding of the nurses, doctors, cleaners or any other person that works within the system... they were without doubt life savers, caring, understanding, professional and I cannot say one bad word. nope the beds are not made with the exacting care as they were when I was nursing. yes, it sometimes take a little while for a nurse to respond to a bell call, but I never once saw them sitting doing nothing, or chatting with each other when bells were ringing.

So from the moment you put your weary feet on UK soil you are covered. Your prescription will cost you a flat rate of £8.20 regardless of how many items are on the script...

Yes if you wear glasses, you can choose, national health frames and lenses or private. Yes you will pay quite a bit if you want fancy teeth work, you will get standard work for a flat fee of £58. If you need root canals, or dentures you will pay £220. But that is for a set of work that needs to be done regardless of if it needs 3 or 5 trips to the dentist.

I survived the Novo virus I survived pneumonia my dentist was a lamb, a minor op to my mouth was completed in 5 mins under local anaesthetic, where I was to be charged R15000 in SA and a day costs at the hospital...

Specsavers in UK is the same as Specsavers in SA.... so have my 2 pairs of specs for the price of 1....

My granddaughter gets to go to pre school Monday to Friday from 9 - 12 and it costs nothing... she will start 'big school' next September. Yep it will cost quite a lot of money for the 1 year old to go to crèche but our work has a rewards system where they will pay 60% of the cost and we pay the balance...

As long as you come with the right attitude you will make it work... the next stage of our lives... So I can work for the next 8 maybe 10 years, but at least I WILL get to retire... that didn't look like an option in SA.

I look forward to walking your adventure with you.

Shirtback

Mellowred,

I'm bit concerned that you keep referring to "we"*.

You DO know that if your husband/partner does not have British citizenship, you (plural) can not move back to the UK together without him getting a visa? And that there are stringent requirements for said visa? Including conditions regarding access to the NHS & other benefits?

*I realize it may be a linguistic ideosyncrasy.

Mary58

You are correct, as Jaimies husband and children are on SA passports, they are not eligible for any benefits until they have their necessary UK status. As Jaimie is on a Brit passport she has no problems. We have had no problem with accessing medical care for the children and Julian has paid what ever was necessary when he required treatment, which fortunately has not been often. An application has been lodged with Home Affairs for the children to be given ROA on humanitarian grounds and as soon as jl's hubby returns on his student visa he will have full NHS access as he has paid the necessary fees. Hopefully we will be lodging the spouse visa application before his student visa expires.

I had another thought last night. If you are wanting to drive once you get to the UK it may be an idea to apply for an additional SA drivers license, as you will be required to send in a current drivers license to the DVLA to get a UK drivers license. The DO NOT return it too you. So JL and Hubby applied for new SA licenses, saying theirs were lost/stolen, then they sent in their earlier versions and still had current SA licenses for when they are back in SA and can drive. I fortunately had my old UK green paper drivers license so was only required to send that in. If you have one of those then you don't pay the £20 fee, but with an SA license you will pay the £20.

Car insurance is almost impossible to get or totally off the wall expensive if you don't have a UK license and you can only apply for it after you have lived in the UK for 185 days.

I am not sure of the rules or fees for insurance if you have an AA international license I am still researching that for my friend who arrives in October.

Buying a car was easy and I managed to get a fantastic Ford cmax 7 years old, diesel for £1750-00. it came a little battle scared but the engine is a dream and fuel consumption is brilliant. I get nearly 18kms to the litre... which is brilliant cos fuel is pretty expensive. I filled the tank 3 weeks ago, still have half a tank left. I can drive all the way to Portsmouth and back with in between travelling and still have some left in the tank when I get home.

To open a UK bank account you will need proof of residence, so we had to wait until the utility bill arrived with our names on, I had to chase up the Seven Trent Water for it, but once I had it there was no problems.

Have a great day and I hope all the info is helping.

mellowred

Hi Mary. Yes all the info is helping, have started taking notes now - the list is getting pretty long

Although it was not the case at the time, the virus story is very amusing now. Gave me a good giggle. What did the neighbours think when the nuclear contamination unit arrived?

You are right, it is the general lack of caring and compassion amongst the clinic and hospital staff that is a problem here. I lost my cool several times when we had to take my Mum back and forth for tests before they diagnosed cancer. Poor old lady was in desperate pain and being shunted from one end of a hospital to another as if we we on a day trip was horrific for her.

Care is also purely curative; the national health system does nothing to prevent illness. And the money and time wasted is frustrating to observe.

The plan is becoming less vague. I am struggling with a pinched nerve in my back right now, but as soon as that misery is over, I can start preparing the way over.

Hi ShirtBack. Thanks for the concern, but it is not an issue at the moment. The "we" is my partner, but he has no interest right now in moving over to England. I would initially do a 6 month trial, and only after that will we look into my return and then possibly investigate his visit. We have no real NHS here, and the pension he receives from the government is so minimal that he may be no worse off in the UK than he is here.

Mary58

LOL, yes Mellow, the neighbours were intrigued because the ambulance came to our house instead of the neighbours which apparently was a regular occurrence as the lady had/has some serious health issues so it was normal to see an ambulance at that house.... and then to see the masks, gloves and white cover alls, did have them braving the bitter cold February morning to stand on the doorsteps and watch. We laugh like crazy now, memories are quite foggy for the first few weeks, it's quite amazing how we (women) just keep going and going, knowing something is wrong but wont give into it. .... I think a tell tale sign might have been me being part of a group (all family members) arranging to meet at a restaurant to surprise my ex husband, as he knew I was bringing the kids over but we kept the date of arrival secret.. we had been here for the 2 odd weeks, when he travelled up from Portsmouth thinking he was celebrating his 60th birthday with Jess and family.... so when he walked into the restaurant he was greeted with his daughter, and the never before seen in person son in law and two grand children. After the greetings and telling off for keeping the arrival a secret I managed to fall asleep at the table after 1 glass of water and half a garlic roll. I managed to lift my head out of my plate for long enough to excuse myself and drive home.... not even thinking about how half the family would get home.... oh the wonders of taxis... but I need say no one offered to drive me!!!! to then return to the gathering. I completely missed the main party on the following evening as I was just totally incapable of coherent thought or desire to move off of the couch.

I am of the opinion that I was the recipient of sufficient does of antibiotics over the period I was in hospital and for several days after, that I will not need another antibiotic for the next 10 years. I had drips in both hands, received so many shots in my rear end and swallowed what can only be described as pills the size of saucers for 7 days and then came home with a carrier bag full of another batch it was scary hehehe.

But I am now bouncing of the walls with good health, so it matters not one bit that there are a few chuncks of memory missing for the first few weeks of our time in the UK. We have such a laugh thinking of those times...maybe I should write a book lol.

Shirtback

Fair enough. Just so long as you realise that he can't move to the UK unless you, the British Citizen, meet the financial requirements to sponsor him; and that he could be refused as a visitor with a spouse resident in the UK, if he does not have substantial ties to SA to prove he wouldn't try to stay in the UK.

mellowred

Good information Shirtback, thank you.

We are not married, and he has daughters and grandchildren here. But I will keep the spouse part in mind if he does visit, I may have opened my mouth that we are life partners thinking it would make a visa easier.