Care in the UK, Do my parents have to sell house in France?
Oct 16th 2017, 1:27 am
#77
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Dixie, ex UK
Posts: 52,447
Re: Care in the UK, Do my parents have to sell house in France?
I agree with DandNHill, you are clearly extremely stressed and at this point it's hard for you to even think straight. It's all got too much for you and you need help urgently and more help than a forum like this can provide. You are expressing suicidal thoughts and need help.
Please call or email The Samaritans immediately. Things seem impossible right now and you are utterly overwhelmed and appear in crisis but things are going to get better you just need help and support so that you can then break things down, get everything in perspective and improve things a step at a time. Speak to The Samaritans they will help you.
This link has contact telephone and email for The Samaritans and other help lines. The Samaritans are available 24 hours every day of the year. Call them right now. It's confidential please don't put off calling.
Suicide - Getting help - NHS Choices
Next, please go back to your GP on Monday and tell her that you are having suicidal thoughts and need help. Be very clear that you can not cope and need help desperately, tell her specifically that you have been expressing suicidal thoughts. If you are not able to hold on till Monday go to A&E and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts and need help.
There has been some good advise on this thread and compassionate and supportive comments (some not so much!) but you are experiencing so much anxiety and are so stressed at this point you can't really take any of it on board and formulate a logical plan. Get help from The Samaritans and your GP and then you will be able to get well enough mentally to be able to put a plan together and put it into action.
The CAB is a really great place to get help finding your way through the system of what benefits/help etc. you can access but get help for your depression/anxiety/distressed state of mind immediately so that you will be well enough to action their advise.
Hang in there, you've been going through a lot and it's all become too much for you but you won't feel like this forever. Make the call, tell your GP.
Please call or email The Samaritans immediately. Things seem impossible right now and you are utterly overwhelmed and appear in crisis but things are going to get better you just need help and support so that you can then break things down, get everything in perspective and improve things a step at a time. Speak to The Samaritans they will help you.
This link has contact telephone and email for The Samaritans and other help lines. The Samaritans are available 24 hours every day of the year. Call them right now. It's confidential please don't put off calling.
Suicide - Getting help - NHS Choices
Next, please go back to your GP on Monday and tell her that you are having suicidal thoughts and need help. Be very clear that you can not cope and need help desperately, tell her specifically that you have been expressing suicidal thoughts. If you are not able to hold on till Monday go to A&E and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts and need help.
There has been some good advise on this thread and compassionate and supportive comments (some not so much!) but you are experiencing so much anxiety and are so stressed at this point you can't really take any of it on board and formulate a logical plan. Get help from The Samaritans and your GP and then you will be able to get well enough mentally to be able to put a plan together and put it into action.
The CAB is a really great place to get help finding your way through the system of what benefits/help etc. you can access but get help for your depression/anxiety/distressed state of mind immediately so that you will be well enough to action their advise.
Hang in there, you've been going through a lot and it's all become too much for you but you won't feel like this forever. Make the call, tell your GP.
In other words although the OP is struggling, fleeing the UK and heading back to France is likely to make most problems the OP is facing worse, even if only because of communication issues. .... That said I suspect there may be other issues too, such as rights to help/support, and that "things don't work the same way" in other countries.
Oct 16th 2017, 2:03 am
#78
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,613
Re: Care in the UK, Do my parents have to sell house in France?
I agree with DandNHill, you are clearly extremely stressed and at this point it's hard for you to even think straight. It's all got too much for you and you need help urgently and more help than a forum like this can provide. You are expressing suicidal thoughts and need help.
Please call or email The Samaritans immediately. Things seem impossible right now and you are utterly overwhelmed and appear in crisis but things are going to get better you just need help and support so that you can then break things down, get everything in perspective and improve things a step at a time. Speak to The Samaritans they will help you.
This link has contact telephone and email for The Samaritans and other help lines. The Samaritans are available 24 hours every day of the year. Call them right now. It's confidential please don't put off calling.
Suicide - Getting help - NHS Choices
Next, please go back to your GP on Monday and tell her that you are having suicidal thoughts and need help. Be very clear that you can not cope and need help desperately, tell her specifically that you have been expressing suicidal thoughts. If you are not able to hold on till Monday go to A&E and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts and need help.
There has been some good advise on this thread and compassionate and supportive comments (some not so much!) but you are experiencing so much anxiety and are so stressed at this point you can't really take any of it on board and formulate a logical plan. Get help from The Samaritans and your GP and then you will be able to get well enough mentally to be able to put a plan together and put it into action.
The CAB is a really great place to get help finding your way through the system of what benefits/help etc. you can access but get help for your depression/anxiety/distressed state of mind immediately so that you will be well enough to action their advise.
Hang in there, you've been going through a lot and it's all become too much for you but you won't feel like this forever. Make the call, tell your GP.
Please call or email The Samaritans immediately. Things seem impossible right now and you are utterly overwhelmed and appear in crisis but things are going to get better you just need help and support so that you can then break things down, get everything in perspective and improve things a step at a time. Speak to The Samaritans they will help you.
This link has contact telephone and email for The Samaritans and other help lines. The Samaritans are available 24 hours every day of the year. Call them right now. It's confidential please don't put off calling.
Suicide - Getting help - NHS Choices
Next, please go back to your GP on Monday and tell her that you are having suicidal thoughts and need help. Be very clear that you can not cope and need help desperately, tell her specifically that you have been expressing suicidal thoughts. If you are not able to hold on till Monday go to A&E and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts and need help.
There has been some good advise on this thread and compassionate and supportive comments (some not so much!) but you are experiencing so much anxiety and are so stressed at this point you can't really take any of it on board and formulate a logical plan. Get help from The Samaritans and your GP and then you will be able to get well enough mentally to be able to put a plan together and put it into action.
The CAB is a really great place to get help finding your way through the system of what benefits/help etc. you can access but get help for your depression/anxiety/distressed state of mind immediately so that you will be well enough to action their advise.
Hang in there, you've been going through a lot and it's all become too much for you but you won't feel like this forever. Make the call, tell your GP.
Hi DayPerson.
I hope you have looked in and read NiHao's great post to you. Please do let us know how you are fairing & that you have talked to someone.
Oct 21st 2017, 6:49 pm
#79
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Dépt 61
Posts: 5,254
Re: Care in the UK, Do my parents have to sell house in France?
Just came across this although I have also read DayPerson's posts on the French side.
I don't have a lot of advice but I do have a lot of sympathy as my mum also developed A and it put a lot of stress on me and my brothers, normally we get on OK but during that period we were somehow at each other's throats all the time and yes everything can look very black when things aren't right between you and your nearest and dearest and you are upsetting each other all the time, you don't mean to but you can't seem to help it.
However I would strongly discourage you from coming back to France right now. You may feel the UK isn't giving you enough support financially or in other ways but why do you think you would get more support in France when France simply does not see it as public responsibility, but a personal responsibility. In fact I don't think France even has a reserve that the person is allowed to keep as the UK does (£16000 is it?). If you prove you're not in a position to pay at the time, your département will pay the fees via ASH and will even give an allowance to the person, generous yes but ultimately every euro they lend you has to be paid back. The département will pursue it because all local authorities are struggling to meet their obligations at the moment and especially with Macron's new policies they feel too much burden is being put on them, it's a big issue in France.
https://www.service-public.fr/partic...osdroits/F2444
Les montants d'ASH versés par le département sont récupérables du vivant et au décès de la personne bénéficiaire. Le département peut récupérer ces sommes :
sur la succession du bénéficiaire (sommes récupérées sur le patrimoine transmis par la personne décédée � ses héritiers),
si la situation financière du bénéficiaire s'améliore (en cas d'héritage, par exemple),
sur donation faite par le bénéficiaire dans les 10 ans ayant précédé la demande d'ASH ou après celle-ci.
So please, don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire. Hang on in there, you will get through it and the sun will come out again.
I don't have a lot of advice but I do have a lot of sympathy as my mum also developed A and it put a lot of stress on me and my brothers, normally we get on OK but during that period we were somehow at each other's throats all the time and yes everything can look very black when things aren't right between you and your nearest and dearest and you are upsetting each other all the time, you don't mean to but you can't seem to help it.
However I would strongly discourage you from coming back to France right now. You may feel the UK isn't giving you enough support financially or in other ways but why do you think you would get more support in France when France simply does not see it as public responsibility, but a personal responsibility. In fact I don't think France even has a reserve that the person is allowed to keep as the UK does (£16000 is it?). If you prove you're not in a position to pay at the time, your département will pay the fees via ASH and will even give an allowance to the person, generous yes but ultimately every euro they lend you has to be paid back. The département will pursue it because all local authorities are struggling to meet their obligations at the moment and especially with Macron's new policies they feel too much burden is being put on them, it's a big issue in France.
https://www.service-public.fr/partic...osdroits/F2444
Les montants d'ASH versés par le département sont récupérables du vivant et au décès de la personne bénéficiaire. Le département peut récupérer ces sommes :
sur la succession du bénéficiaire (sommes récupérées sur le patrimoine transmis par la personne décédée � ses héritiers),
si la situation financière du bénéficiaire s'améliore (en cas d'héritage, par exemple),
sur donation faite par le bénéficiaire dans les 10 ans ayant précédé la demande d'ASH ou après celle-ci.
So please, don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire. Hang on in there, you will get through it and the sun will come out again.
