chance to be

very true. we have only been here 8mnths and before we left wanted to get citizenship before any decisions were made. But, especially for OH, the indicision was actually worse for him than any decision, even though he probably wouldve stayed here were it not for me. so decision made...we fly home in april, and i must say for both of us, its like a black cloud is beginning to lift....
good luck with your move
c x

BadgeIsBack

I agree, the size of your house means nothing. That's why surbananites the world over are so unhappy, there's a divorce between living and existing in a package. You need a connection with the land you live on/in. Once you have control over your existence, your daily life, you have met a very important need. To a point it has happened with urbanisation since the Industrial Revolution, people have sold their natural lives for a package and live in dormitory towns with the occasional foray to Asda/Sainsbury/Coles. It's why I couldn't live in a suburb anywhere.

chance to be

good point
c

Buttercup

We are in the same position. And it's driving me insane. Basically my husband wants to stay as he lived here for years growing up and i don't as i am a London lass. We've been here 3 months and living with the inlaws. My husband has the car so i can't go out. It's boiling hot and i can't stand it. It's been such a short time and i know that if we go back now he'll think that i didn't really try. With baby no.2 on the way i just want to go home be with my family and friends. I never had a problem with the U.K weather and i loved living in London. Yes i know that the yob culture was getting worse etc etc etc, but i miss the U.K sooo much. My husband juust wants me to say ya or nay and i feel like that too much for just me to decide on my own.

You have my sympathies !!!

blowers

And you have mine Buttercup (as a fellow London lass, who wants to move back!)
Am sure once you get a place of your own and the weather cools down, things will be better?

Pants

I lived with my outlaws when I first moved to Oz and that was awful.Once we got our own home and I got more indepandant life became better...gradually..!! small steps can lead to big changes.
You may feel better once you get out and about more.3 months is very early to be making a decision on yeah or nay...!!I would give it longer...plus perhaps those lovely hormones aren't helping much with baby no 2 on the way...

only suggestions....

good luck..

Jerseygirl

My sentiments exactly. Been living in the US for 10 yrs now miss UK but know if we move back there we will miss the US too. Its a good life here but will it ever be home? Saying that when we go back to the UK to visit we are looking forward to getting back to the US. Yes sometimes we wish we had never moved but then again if we hadn't we would be in the UK wondering what life would be like if we had moved. Catch 22!

Stuck

I am Australian and my husband is English. After 10 years in London, I decided it was time to sell up and go home to Sydney. Big mistake to sell property in UK. Big mistake to buy property in Australia, kind of. We have been back in the UK for 6mths after 3 years in Oz. I missed the UK, but could have stayed in Oz, my husband wanted to come back to UK. It is true what everyone says, once the novelty wears off (of both) you want the other again. We could not sell our house in Oz (market effectively crashed back to 2003 prices), so decided to rent it out. Now I am glad, because there are times when I dream about our big 4 bed house with pool, never feeling freezing cold (although when I was in oz I missed feeling freezing cold) etc. etc. I feel like we will never settle. A friend of mine with an English wife who also lived in London for 10 years (now lives in Oz) told me that if we go back to the UK we will never settle, it is true. Also, just visiting family and friends is different. Once you are back for good nobody is really that interested. Everyone is just getting on with their own life. Lasts for a while and then you start to see everyone less and less. I tried to tell my husband that we would be doing nothing different (in general) in the UK than we were doing in Oz, i.e. work, come home. I missed the shops and pubs in the UK, but find that the novelty has worn off and we don't even go out that much. My husband has to work away all week and I only see him 1 night a week. In Oz he was home at same time as me every night. Life is life everywhere. Don't be fooled by the grass is greener syndrome, either in the UK (even though it is!) or Oz. We are thinking Oz for early retirement. I will never be able to decide between the two though. Hoping that when we are a little older we will just want to sit around in the sunshine. Ask me in 5 years, these winters wear you down after a while!

Buttercup

I am beginning to realise that we'll always wonder about the otherside of the world. Deep down i feel that my career and family will be happier in London at the moment and maybe like you when the weather has worn me down and I am older i shall think about coming back to Oz. I wa just really enjoying myself back in th u.k .

simongb

I totally agree with you. I miss the US and when I am 'home' in England, I miss the UK when I am home in the US. HELP!

Mummy

For me, it's not so much about what I miss from the UK because I never settled there after uni anyway, but more about the cost and time to visit family. Sure, there are things that annoy me about Australia (like the heat, critters etc), but there are probably just as many things that annoy me about the UK. But I really want my son to know his family, and I am not ready to stop travelling yet - all our holiday time and money at the moment is spent visiting back in the UK. I want my holidays back to be proper holidays!

As for settling anywhere.... don't know that I will ever settle anywhere. My heart has yet to find its home. Haven't lived in one house for more than 2 years since I was 11 years old - wonder where the itchy feet come from?

wombatboy

hey
i havent posted for a while, but came back here cos i miss the uk lots at the mo. It comes and goes in waves...at the mo i am not happy with the area we live in. but basically if i know that there is a chioce to go back to the uk...then that makes me feel better...
i have a aussie wife, who is very attached to her sydney family and we are about to start trying to have kids. If I go back now I will have to find a good job and make enough to look after getting a place etc....its very similar to everyones story.

i feel bad about discussing missing the uk (and wanting to go back) with her. I hate to make her stressed...but sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night because i am worried that i wont be happy here in the longterm...then i have to remind myself that i swore to look after her for the rest of our lives and if that means staying in oz then so be it - there are worse things than living in the sun. good luck with whatever you decide and remember ..there are people much worse off in the world who dont have our choices.

Pants

Hiya
I can relate to how you feel except I have an Aussie hubby and we met in UK and he always said he would go back to Oz to live etc so we married, had a baby and went to Oz...West of Sydney and I hate the phrase...westies.!!arghhhhhhhhhhhh cos we were not.!! Anyway we stayed 21/2yrs then came back to UK. We both like being back in the UK but who knows longterm..!!Not ready to commit in my head to living longterm in whatever country..!!!

If your wife and YOU have good support from her family and you are thinking of having a family I am sure she will want to stay close to her support network. We went to Oz when our bubs was 5mnths old and I had NO support from my aussie outlaws and the way they behaved was just crap so they were one reason why we came back.......had they been supportive, caring, loving, happy nice people then we may have stayed....who knows.

You should be able to talk about how you feel without causing too much stress, has your wife ever been to the UK?

My hubby missed Oz and did lots of comparing when we first met and so did I when I went to Oz...only natural for you to chat about where you lived and especially if you liked living in the UK, so many people don't.

I suppose you have alot to weigh up....but why not just over for a holiday before you start the family thing !!!How long have you been there??

Good luck....!!!

Dan the Plumber

Hi there,
This is more of a common thing than people realise! I have been back and forth from UK to Oz three times now and we are preparing to return to Oz for the fourth time....... If at all possible DO NOT sell your house there - simply rent it out - spend a year or two in UK and if you're completely happy then sell up. I know from bitter experience that its something I should have done. There seems to be a general agreement (on this forum anyway) that the novelty wears off. In my opinion it couldn't be more true. We originally left Australia after seven years to be closer to family - had a one year old at the time, sold a nice house, had a pool etc to end up going on the council list for a house in UK. This is in no way a detriment to people in council housing I am merely making a comparison. Anyway, we rented this council house in a desirable location (Inkberrow - home of The Archers!!) and soon found out what the English snobby mentality was all about. People literally wouldn't talk to you because you were 'council'!!!!!!!!!!!! Family support we all crave wears off once you are always 'around'. I realised tha in one year I had spoken to my sister more when I was in Australia than in the UK, and she lived seven miles away!!!! Sorry to be a bore as I know how hard it is. Just don't give up your house for the sake of a life here in UK, probably very monetry motivated but at the end of the day thats what we all strive for............
Good luck in your quest, hope it works out for you what ever you decide!
Dan

wombatboy

I've been in Oz for 6 years on and off as i went back to the UK fro a year in between engagement and marriage and my wife came back with me for a year. We lived in London and hertfordshire and she got a good job at the time and really enjoyed it. But she definitely wants to be near her parents for a baby - and they are supportive of me too and kind. Also, my parents have two nephews and a neice through my sister (who i miss HEAPS!) so they have already done the grandchild thing. We are going back for christmas to the UK fro 3 weeks and I think these visits every year or two keep me going.
Its SO good to hear of people who are in similar circumstances, thanks. I think you are right - we should be able to talk about it....i think my wife worries that I'll just take off one day! I keep telling her that I wouldnt just abandon her (I'd kidnap her! ha ha. not.)