jennieJ

Well she's one thing or the other, either a health tourist or an Internet troll to get people fighting about scrounges, probably the later.

englishguygoinghome

Or maybe she's just a girl, who lost both her parents within months after leaving school; tried to make a go of it with the man she loved in another country but had to make the heard-breaking decision to leave him and become a single mother back home because it just wasn't working / safe for her and the baby. When she got back to the country she grew up in, heavily pregnant and after less than a year away, she was told she and the baby would be homeless, could get no help and were the scourge of society "benefits tourists".

Just a thought - maybe she really is genuine?

mikelincs

If so, why hasn't she been back since her only two posts on the first day.

jennieJ

Sigh ............. If you were that genuine and desperate you would be back, there are enough bleeding heart posts like yours to encourage it.

Pretty unlucky to have lost both parent by the time you are only 19 they could have only been in their late thirties or so themselves. But hey it stops questions like why don't u go bank to your parents and sets the scene so much better

Either that or she is in the UK now living in a cardboard box as she won't pass the HRT.

roaringmouse

Having seen replies labelling, criticising and blaming them like has happened on this thread, I don't think a genuine OP would want to return to either this thread or these forums. This could be a genuine case, a person feeling very fragile. You just don't know what damage you could do to someone who may be feeling very lonely and vulnerable, and is clear from the OP that it could be the case.

I would suggest in such cases, if you don't believe it then just don't post. There's no need to be self-righteous. Yeah, it is unlucky to lose both parents by that age - my brother-in-law lost both his around that age due to them being diagnosed with and dying of cancer within a short space of time of each other. These things do happen.

dunroving

That's why I said "a bit like" and "somewhat" - sort of like "not quite" (almost).

dunroving

Although I think some people don't help themselves, by putting vague requests or missing out important information, I think we should be careful of always assuming someone is a troll because their initial post is suspiciously ambiguous, and/or they don't come back.

I don't know if the OP's situation was real or not, but my guess is that either way she won't be back.

Either she(or he) is following the thread enjoying the fact we are still arguing with each other, not realising why the thread was started in the first place (to get us all riled up), or she genuinely needed advice and was scared off pretty quickly by the antagonistic comments.

Mummy in the foothills

Possible she doesn't have a home and computer to check in regularly from, it's hardly top of her list if she is looking for some help. Maybe she will turn up and let us know what happened one day.

BristolUK

The only thing we can be sure of is that such situations are real for someone.

And if some good advice is given now then some people may remember it for their own (or someone they get to hear of) real situation.

dunroving

Good point. We probably should have a sticky/Wiki for "Returning expats and benefits" as this comes up so frequently. Maybe there already is one.

amany.abdelghany21

Some people are just so heartless, why cant you put yourself in my shoes. Lets see how you get on. Lets see if you can even survive s week after loosing both of your parents... would you like me to into the details that i weht through after them both passing away??? Fine!! I had to go through absoulte crap just to pay the electricty and water for the one bedroomed house i was given. I am a muslim!!! I was living on £56 a week and was in hospital most of the time because of how cold the property was. Would you like me to go on?? Because i can. But some of you would stay heartless.
I couldnt get back to this earlier as i didnt have access to the internet. And no i dont have family or relatives about. I have been staying different days at different friends homes. I have been in contact with the local mp because my story IS GENUINE!!
i left my husband in jordan because our tenancy had ended, he cannot afford to place a roof over our heads. We had to stay with his mum and two older brothers in a one bedroomed room. Which i all have evidence off. I had to stay there untill my husband savdd enough money to book my a one way ticket on easyjet back to the uk.
Does no one read or listen to the news??? Does no one know what the state of the economy is like in jordan??? Its going downhill everyday. So no there is no way that i can go back or have stayed there.

amany.abdelghany21

Does anyone really think that i even wanted to come back here?? Full off horrible memories. But i had no choice - because i want whats best for my baby. All the mp told me yesterday is to get in contact with the local welfare provision people. Maybe they can help me with something until i get the benefits.
You know, some people will never know the real meaning of life until something happens to them. I am genuine and do have feelings. So if your not going to help people like me... dont bother writing in the first place.

spouse of scouse

Hi amany (not sure if that's your name but I'm too lazy to type the whole thing out!). I'm sorry that you've been upset by reading some of the comments here, I know it's easy to say but try to forget all that and focus on what you need to do next, an upset Mum upsets bub too!

I'm sorry that I can't help you with places to go to for advice in the UK, I'm in Australia so not much good to you. But there were some suggestions earlier on in this thread that you might want to follow up, and it might be a good idea to follow the MP's advice too - even if it doesn't help, it can't hurt Where are you getting your ante natal care from, a doctor or a hospital? Whoever it is, let them know of your situation, the more people you talk to the better chance you'll have of finding a solution.

I do wish you the very best of luck. Life might seem pretty hard right now, but the good thing about hitting rock bottom is the only way is up. Things will get better. Take care.

amany.abdelghany21

Thank you, your kind reply was very apprechaited. I get my antenatal care at a local centre, my midwife signed me onto it. And i have used that as evidence against my appeal. I really apprechaite your advice.
Regards.

Pollyana

I'm glad you've managed to get back online as hopefully some of the responses will have helpful information for you. If you are getting ante-natal care at a local centre, then they - or your midwife - should be able to point you to your local social workers.
Good luck - it sounds like you are in a horrible position, and I do agree that you and your baby are better off in the UK than in Jordan with the current state of affairs there.